Trust is fundamental in romantic relationships. It takes a lot of hard work, time, and dedication to fix it if it’s broken. However, in some cases, you can uncover something so disturbing about your partner that it makes you question everything you know about them.
Redditor u/Sad-Strike-4192 turned to the r/TwoHotTakes online community for some advice on an incredibly delicate situation. She revealed how she accidentally stumbled across her boyfriend’s secret stash of ‘trophies’ from his ‘conquests.’ Now, she’s unsure of how to proceed. Read on for the full story, an important update, and all the advice the internet gave the woman.
Bored Panda has reached out to the author via Reddit, and we’ll update the article as soon as we hear back from her.
It can be very uncomfortable to discover that your partner is collecting 'souvenirs' from their previous relationships
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One woman turned to the internet for help after accidentally stumbling upon her boyfriend's secret stash of 'trophies'
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She later shared some more information
Image credits: Sad-Strike-4192
Having a collection of 'trophies' isn't the same as keeping memorabilia for the sake of nostalgia
Not all memorabilia has the same emotional weight. There is a huge difference between, say, holding on to a stack of letters and postcards from one’s former partners and keeping erotic ‘souvenirs’ from former dates.
In the former case, those items acknowledge that the person had a past with all of its ups and downs and bittersweet memories. They’re a physical manifestation of nostalgia. In the latter case, it’s probably a sign that the individual is either not over their exes or wants to objectify them. It might also be an indication that they constantly think of them in an erotic context, even if they’re dating someone else. That’s disrespectful to their current partner.
Not only that, but there’s a deep ‘ick’ factor at play here. Look, to put it frankly, it’s creepy when someone keeps such personal belongings from a huge number of people without them knowing.
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There are a lot of issues to unpack if someone secretly steals other people's underwear
It would be kind of understandable if the person had a single ‘souvenir’ that their partner voluntarily gifted them as a reminder of their passionate and romantic time together, sure. But stealing someone’s underwear without them knowing crosses a lot of lines.
This sort of ‘trophy-hunting’ is a serious red flag. It’s on a similar level as keeping locks of hair from former partners or keeping a stash of their other personal belongings. It’s worrisome, to say the least. It suggests that the person is obsessed with their ‘targets’ and growing their collection of ‘trophies.’
In these sorts of situations, an intervention from the person’s family and friends might help them. Otherwise, they should probably reach out to a therapist for some perspective on what their behavior means and how to move past this magpie-like, ego-centric behavior. In either case, the person needs a lot of self-awareness and the willingness to change.
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A person with a massive ego might collect items to brag or objectify others
Some experts claim that it’s narcissists who hold onto objects from their past relationships in the form of ‘trophies.’ They sometimes use them as a way to brag about everything to others. It’s a sign that they’ve objectified their former partners.
Someone who is deeply narcissistic doesn’t hold on to these ‘souvenirs’ as a reminder of something romantic. They often do so because of their ego. It’s all done out of selfishness rather than out of sentimentalism.
What tips would you give the author of the viral story, dear Pandas? What do you think her best choice in this situation would be? How would you react if you found that your partner keeps similar ‘trophies’? Share your advice in the comment section.
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The author went into more detail about everything in the comments
Many readers rushed to share their advice and warnings. Here's what some of them said
The woman later shared an update about her situation
Image credits: Sad-Strike-4192