Having children can be the most gratifying yet most demanding experience in one’s life. The turmoils of motherhood are not to be scoffed at, especially when taking into consideration the life-changing transformations to the body, the mind, and to her own sense of self. We’re also not forgetting the social pressures mothers face on a daily basis.
Having said that, the child is the mother’s responsibility, a responsibility which should be shared with those that fully agree to take it on. However, there have been situations where moms have felt entitled to ask, and then pressure, acquaintances to take care of their offspring, arguing that it takes a village to raise a child.
This is the situation that Reddit user artinthegarage faced, sharing her tale on the subreddit r/EntitledPeople. One mother’s suggestion turned into a full-on peer-pressuring event by her friends, who the Original Poster (OP) called the “Mommy Group,” yet it seems the OP got to have the last laugh. Quite literally.
Dear Pandas, please leave your thoughts and opinions in the comments below. Was the OP right to react the way that she did? What would you have done? Also, if after all this you’re still craving some spicy entitlement stories, I’ve got you covered! Let’s get into it!
More info: Reddit
The last thing some people want is to be bullied into being responsible for 3 stranger’s children, all for the grand reward of $20
Image credits: Nenad Stojkovic (not the actual photo)
There come forth situations in life where you can do nothing else but ask for help. Whether it be family members, friends, acquaintances, or members of your yoga class, there are always those that could be open to lending a helping hand. As long as you’re not an entitled bully that can’t take ‘no’ for an answer.
Reddit user artinthegarage, whose actual name is Jennifer Nicole, is an artist with 15.6K followers on Instagram. She quite recently shared her experience with an entitled mother who would not allow her to refuse to look after her 3 children, all under the age of 10, and got her flock of friends to help ‘persuade’ her. Lots to unravel here, so many layers, but it’s quite an interesting one, so let’s bite into it.
One Redditor decided to share such a story on the r/EntitledPeople subreddit, and the story is one heck of a roller coaster. Have a look for yourself:
Image credits: artinthegarage
The struggles of being a single mother should never be understated; however, the OP was being pressured by someone she barely knew to be a nanny for their kids
Image credits: Darya Sannikova (not the actual photo)
Image credits: artinthegarage
I love taking the stance of the Devil’s advocate, especially in cases when the person described is so clearly in the wrong. So, in order to do this, let’s investigate three things: the social burden of motherhood, entitlement and peer pressure, as well as having a community there to help raise a child.
In many societies, being a mother is still seen as an unavoidable, positive, and sought-after goal in a woman’s life. For dozens of years, it was the norm for the child to become the center of their mother’s universe, taking precedence over her own interests, and forcing her to be completely involved in the role of caretaker.
Only recently have the realities of motherhood started being discussed by candid women all around the world: the roller coaster of emotions and the physical demands that come with the title of ‘mother.’ What was once seen as unnatural and even pathological, such as negative feelings toward motherhood, are being brought to light.
Filipa César and colleagues believe that the exposure of concealed negative feelings towards motherhood may have an important role in changing the way society views parenthood, helping to enhance the mother’s well-being beyond the mother-child relationship, and in considering the serious difficulties associated with motherhood.
The “Mommy Group” of friends emailed and called to peer pressure the OP into babysitting, because “it would be a nice thing to do for a single mom”
Image credits: Andrea Piacquadio (not the actual photo)
Image credits: artinthegarage
Now, where do entitlement and peer pressure come into this equation? Let’s start with some definitions. Entitlement, according to Merriam-Webster’s Unabridged Dictionary, is a belief that one is deserving of certain privileges. And, according to VeryWellMind, peer pressure is the process by which members of the same social group influence other members to do things that they may be resistant to, or might not otherwise choose to do.
In general, a person with a sense of entitlement has a self-absorbed view of the world. They think they deserve special treatment and that their personal needs come before everyone else’s, and they act like victims and blame other people or outside forces for their problems, causing a big scene when their demands aren’t met.
On the flip side of the coin, we have peer pressure. Direct peer pressure is when a person uses verbal or nonverbal cues to persuade someone to do something. It can quickly turn negative, as the person is faced with doing something they wouldn’t normally do or don’t want to do as a way of fitting in with a social group.
Both of those elements are very much prevalent in this story that we’re discussing at the moment. It’s not the fact that the mom was asking for help, but rather the guilt-tripping and emotional manipulation that followed. No one should have to deal with peer pressure from what the OP called the “Mommy Wagon Train”—emails, calls, and even bullet lists for how one should live their life.
Image credits: SOCMIA Fotografía (not the actual photo)
Image credits: artinthegarage
The OP stood her ground, not allowing the entitled mother, nor her friends, to sway her away from her routine and core values
Image credits: Daniel Chekalov (not the actual photo)
Image credits: artinthegarage
If you’re dealing with peer pressure in adulthood, Destination Hope Mental Health Center advises all to be true to themselves. Be assertive, be mindful of your needs and core values, and don’t mind your critics. Someone else’s problems aren’t yours to solve if they disagree with your own beliefs and capabilities of helping.
But now we’re at the last point, which goes with the very popular saying, “It takes a village to raise a child.” Back in the day, community living was a given; people lived in close proximity to others, sharing food and tools, to protect each other and to exchange ideas. But the concept of such a village has changed dramatically in recent years.
We’re more isolated than ever, and new parents are feeling isolated and alone in their struggles. As explained by the Exchange Family Center, oftentimes parents feel stressed, overworked, judged, and inadequate. Burnout and exhaustion are real, but without a community around to validate those feelings, many moms and dads feel like that pain is their own to bear.
It might take a village to raise a child, but in this day and age, consent matters
Image credits: monica di loxley (not the actual photo)
Image credits: artinthegarage
So how does one build a supportive community without forcing one upon other people with different values? Communication is key. Starting with family members, then friends, then acquaintances, and finding a common ground to stand on. One just needs willing participants to help design a framework that meets everyone’s needs!
Finally, consider seeking out local services and programs designed to build community. Parenting groups and/or community centers are wonderful (and affordable) places to start looking for other families who are seeking deeper connections and support systems. It takes time and patience, but it’s a sure way to find like-minded people and not end up on the r/EntitledPeople subreddit.
We are not here to judge either party; this story is told from one point of view, and it’s simply too little to make a complete picture of either person’s character. However, I can say from a personal standpoint that I would have done the same thing as the OP, mayhaps with a glass of whisky rather than wine (drink responsibly).
What about you, dear reader, what’s your deduction after having gone through this complex story? What are your thoughts and opinions, and what would you advise this mother to do in the future, as I’m sure she’ll have learned that pressuring someone to abide by her will isn’t the most wholesome option.
Enjoy what the community had to say, and I shall see you in the next one! I bid you adieu!
People have wholeheartedly shown their support for the OP, praising her for the way she handled things. What do you think? Let us know in the comments!
