It's totally normal to get caught up in the thrills of a new romantic endeavor and want to spend every free second with your partner. However, we have to remember that there are other important people in our life, including our precious friends.
One guy maintained contact with his buddies through summer trips. They stuck with him even after he had lost his leg and had a special place in his heart. However, as one of their journeys was approaching, the guy's girlfriend wanted to join the gang.
SSo much so that after he said no, she even hid his prosthesis in an attempt to make him stay as well. As the guy explained in his post on the subreddit 'Am I the [Jerk]?', this quickly escalated into a full-blown fight.
As per tradition, this guy and his friends go on a trip every summer
Image credits: Lara Jameson (not the actual image)
Image credits: Matheus Ferrero (not the actual image)
Image credits: Prostock-studio (not the actual image)
Image credits: throwaway8001349
Image credits: Kampus Production / Pexels (not the actual photo)
A happy life requires friends outside of your romantic relationship
Psychotherapist April Eldemire, who specializes in marriage and couples' issues, agrees that having friends outside your marriage is not only important but healthy for you and your partner.
"Evidence clearly shows that our lifespan, or how long we live, and healthspan, how long we maintain good health, are attributable to many obvious lifestyle choices, like exercise, good nutrition, and the avoidance of smoking. But research shows that strong social ties improve your lifespan, too," Eldemire wrote.
In fact, one longitudinal study found that people with the most friends tended to outlive those with the fewest by as many as 22 percent.
The number of friendships is important, but their quality might matter even more.
A clinical review of nearly 150 studies (involving over 300,000 people followed for an average of more than seven years) discovered that people with strong social ties had a 50 percent better chance of survival, regardless of age, sex, health status, and cause of death than those with weaker ties. Simply put, the health risk of having few friends is similar to smoking 15 cigarettes a day, and more dangerous to your lifespan than being obese or not exercising.
"When you develop a friendship with someone who shares similar interests, you're creating the opportunity to learn, grow, and evolve," Eldemire said.
According to her, friends matter to people in relationships because:
- Having your own friends—in addition to mutual ones—helps you and your partner stay connected to a bigger community.
- Good friends provide models for healthy relationships that you can discuss with your partner and try to apply to your own relationship.
- Friends give both of you additional outlets for self-expression and fun. This way, you can come back to the relationship with more energy and fulfillment.
- Friends help you cultivate your sense of independence, which matters because a relationship based on two committed yet independent people is generally healthier than a relationship built on co-dependency.
Too bad the Redditor's girlfriend didn't think about these things.
After reading the guy's story, people expressed their support for him and said he did nothing wrong
