Parents are not supposed to have favorites, but we all know that many do... Some just hide it better than others. The problems arise when a mom or dad treats their kids differently and makes one feel like the black sheep of the family.
A woman has revealed how she felt like a glorified maid growing up, while her sister could do no wrong. She subsequently drifted away from her family when they moved overseas. The woman and her husband recently bought a new house and weren't planning on saying a word about it to her parents. Imagine her surprise when they showed up on her doorstep and called her "selfish" for keeping secrets.
Her parents never hid the fact that she's the least-liked child, so she thinks nothing of not sharing 'big news' with them
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They lost it when they found out she'd bought a house, accusing her of being "selfish" and not a "true daughter"
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What a tangled web we weave when we conspire to deceive: how keeping secrets can affect our health
It’s no secret that many of us keep secrets from friends, colleagues and even family. An estimated 13 million Americans have hidden a bank or credit card account from a live-in significant other or spouse, while 80% of parents keep financial secrets from their adult children.
When it comes to family secrets, experts say there are normally three types:
Individual secrets are the ones that a single member of the family knows, e.g., only the dad knows about his extramarital affair.
Internal family secrets are those shared by two or more family members. At least one other relative is kept in the dark. This could be something like both parents knowing that their child was conceived out of wedlock.
Shared family secrets, as the name suggests, are secrets shared by the whole nuclear family. “These are secrets the family will keep within the family walls and never disclose to an outsider; for instance, no one apart from the nuclear family knows that the father was in prison,” explain the therapy experts at Path.com.
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The burden of carrying a big secret can actually make you physically ill. Along with the guilt, shame, and stress you might feel, you could also experience symptoms of anxiety like headaches, digestive issues, and sleep problems. Psychologists have also found that those who keep secrets generally have lower life satisfaction, feel fatigued, lonely, sad and hostile.
However, experts note that there is a difference between keeping certain things private and a family secret.
"Individuals do have the right to maintain their autonomy in a family by having privacy," explains the Psychology Today site. "However, it becomes an issue when the topic they’re keeping private has reverberations that could impact other family members."
Many felt that the parents had proven the daughter right, and that her secret was justified
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