“Am I The Jerk For Kicking Out An Intellectually Disabled Young Woman From My Party?”

When Reddit user Goodyhushp and her husband recently threw a BBQ party, they thought they'd have a fun evening with some friends. However, the couple ended up in what seemed like a lose-lose predicament from a moral point of view.

Their intellectually disabled neighbor showed up uninvited and started mingling with the guests. The woman and her husband contacted her parents and asked them to pick her up, but they didn't see a problem that their daughter was among a group of drinking strangers, and thought the couple were being too egoistic, robbing her of a good time.

Unsure what to think of the situation, Goodyhushp explained what happened to the 'Am I the [Jerk]?' community, asking for their opinions.

No doubt J's parents are having a difficult time and deserve our sympathy. (And they're not alone, there are over 7 million people with intellectual disabilities in the US).

Physically, chronologically and legally, the young woman is (most likely) an adult. But while many of her peers are at university or working, facing endless potential, J seems to be stuck in (some sort of) limiting childhood.

And while other parents can step back from their responsibilities as their kids grow up, hers are forever on duty.

Restricted intellect means limited opportunities and relying in the long term on social security. For all their interdependence, these people's circle of friends tend to be small and limited to others with intellectual disabilities and family members, further compounding their isolation.

So her desire to meet and spend time with someone else is also completely understandable.

But while adults with intellectual disabilities should be encouraged to develop routines that involve more stimulating pursuits, such as regular exercise or opportunities to interact with others, ultimately, it's not their neighbors' duty.