There are some things that you should never, ever do at weddings. Like making dramatic scenes, imbibing too much social lubricant, and… making life-changing announcements. Most us of know that it’s a bad idea to propose during someone else’s Big Day. It’s common sense. Unfortunately, it seems like not everyone got the memo.
One woman, u/Suspicious-Tree-642, opened up about a sensitive incident online and asked the AITA community for their verdict. The author shared how she broke up with her long-term boyfriend because he proposed to her at her best friend’s wedding. Scroll down for the full story and to see how the internet reacted to everything.
Bored Panda has reached out to the author via Reddit, and we’ll update the article as soon as we hear back from her.
It's common sense not to propose at someone else's wedding! Alas, some people still try to go through with this
Image credits: RDNE Stock project / pexels (not the actual photo)
An anonymous woman opened up online about how she broke off a long-term relationship with her partner after he proposed to her at a wedding
Image credits: Wavebreakmedia / envato (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Suspicious-Tree-642
Ideally, your proposal and engagement announcement should happen nowhere near your loved ones' important occasions
Image credits: Kyle Roxas / pexels (not the actual photo)
The Knot points out that there’s no such thing as the perfect time to announce your engagement. That being said, wedding planner Brittany Bauer warns that you should do it at least a month before or after another couple’s wedding if they’re in your social circle.
“A month before a wedding is enough to buffer the anticipation and build-up of the wedding day is still happening for most of the guests, and a month after is more than enough time to allow for the 'confetti to settle' from a wedding day,” the expert said.
This way, your engagement won’t be directly tied to the Big Day of the people you are about, and the occasion will stand out more.
Not everything revolves around your proposal/engagement though, as important as the moment is. If you plan to overlap your grand occasion with someone else’s, then naturally you need to think about how your actions will affect them.
Empathy is all about putting yourself in other people’s shoes, whether they’re your family and friends or complete strangers. Before you go ahead and pop out that ring box anywhere spatially or temporarily near your pal’s wedding, discretely talk to them and their partner about your plans way in advance of the whole thing.
An honest chat with the marrying couple can save you a world of trouble later on. Some folks will be fine with you proposing. Others will ask you to hold off, even if they’re super excited and happy for you.
In the meantime, wedding planner Betsy Renehan stressed to The Knot that you want to avoid announcing your engagement at any special events organized by the people you love. “It's never appropriate to announce your engagement at your loved ones' wedding-related events such as their wedding shower, bachelorette party, engagement party, etc.”
A good partner is someone who is willing to respect your boundaries and genuinely listen to your wants and needs
Image credits: Anna Pou / pexels (not the actual photo)
It’s one thing to propose to your partner during someone else’s wedding. That’s already bad, sure. It’s another level of failure altogether if you go ahead with the proposal even though you were told outright not to do it.
The author openly and honestly told her (now ex) boyfriend that she thought it was an awful idea to be proposed to at her best friend’s wedding when he floated the idea to her. Not only that but neither he nor the groom (his brother) ran the proposal idea by the bride!
Honestly, it hurts to hear about people who make entirely avoidable blunders despite there being crystal-clear communication. And poof! A 10-year relationship goes down the drain because someone couldn’t bother to respect their partner’s boundaries when they got a neon-bright ‘NO!’
This just goes to show how important mutual respect and two-way communication is in happy and healthy long-term relationships.
It’s not enough to make romantic gestures. Are they cute? Sure. But they won’t make up for failing to listen (actually listen) to your partner’s wants and needs. Being an active listener means taking in what your partner is saying, not just waiting for your turn to speak.
Meanwhile, it’s not a good look nor is it healthy if someone tramples all over their partner’s boundaries. They’re there for a reason. While it’s practically impossible to avoid crossing other people’s boundaries entirely (everyone makes mistakes), doing so on purpose raises a lot of questions about the person’s intentions.
If someone always cares about themselves more than their partner, then something’s clearly gone wrong.
But what are your thoughts on the entire wedding drama, dear Pandas? Do you think the author was right to break off her long-term relationship after the stunt her boyfriend pulled? What would you have done if you were in her shoes? Have you ever witnessed any proposals at weddings yourselves? Share your thoughts in the comments. We’d love to hear what you think.
Many internet users were very supportive of the author. Here's their take on the emotionally charged wedding drama
However, some readers had a different interpretation of what happened. Here are a few of their thoughts
