For many recovering alcoholics, one year sober is a massive milestone. After putting in the work and taking it one day at a time, they’ve finally reached 365 days without touching a drop of alcohol. It’s a reason to be proud. And to celebrate.
But when one woman shared the news with her family, they were less than impressed. Her mom told her not to expect praise for doing the bare minimum. Her brother-in-law opened a bottle of wine. The woman stormed out of the family dinner, but not before grabbing a cake she’d brought. She’s since been called childish and is wondering whether her actions were justified. Bored Panda spoke to addiction specialist Nicholas Axcell from Harmony Clinic for his take on the matter.
Celebrating milestones is an important part of the addiction recovery journey
Image credits: Manny Moreno / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
But when one woman shared her significant day with her family, they just shrugged it off
Image credits: Anna Morgan / Pexels (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Pablo Merchán Montes / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Natallia Nagorniak / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
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Recovering addicts often celebrate their sobriety anniversaries with a cake
Image credits: Natalie Behn / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
The woman said she brought the cake to celebrate her accomplishment. It’s a common way in which recovering alcoholics mark important milestones. The tradition was started by Alcoholics Anonymous (AA), a globally renowned 12-step recovery program.
The program encourages addicts to tackle the sobriety journey one day at a time, and one step at a time. They celebrate members’ milestones in meetings. From 24 hours sober to 10 years sober, each accomplishment is seen as something to be proud of.
Nicholas Axcell is an addiction specialist and the Head of International Development for the Harmony Healthcare Group. It's a hospital group specializing in treating addiction, dual diagnosis and psychiatric conditions.
"I think it is an achievement to get into recovery, and milestones can help recognize that achievement and be a motivation and recognition of how far a person has come," Axcell told Bored Panda during our interview.
The expert says families don't always understand that the milestones are in fact a big deal. "It's very important for families to be involved in family therapy or support groups to educate themselves if possible," said Axcell. "Sometimes, sadly, families aren't supportive and the person in recovery has to put their own boundaries in place to protect themselves."
Axcell told Bored Panda that the woman shouldn't be discouraged by her family's reaction, and that he'd advise her to lean on her own peer support or professionals to stay motivated in her recovery journey.
“Any length of sobriety for someone with an addiction is applaudable, but the first year is always special,” notes the Recovering Champions website.
Members of AA will often celebrate their sobriety "birthdays" with a cake and a ceremony during meetings. Axcell says milestones can be marked with "a chip from fellowships, a cake, a meal with recovery friends."
According to California-based treatment center Wildwood Recovery, the cake symbolizes the individual’s progress in their recovery journey, and helps encourage others.
“The cake is typically cut into small pieces and shared with other members of the meeting, representing the support and fellowship that is central to the 12-step program,” reads the center’s website.
While the woman later revealed she wasn’t a member of AA, she still wanted a symbol to mark her one-year milestone and she would have liked to have shared it with those close to her.
Image credits: Jayson Hinrichsen / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
According to Recovering Champions, there are various ways for family and friends to congratulate a loved one when they hit the one year sober mark. And doing so can help them to stay motivated during their recovery journey.
One of the most important things you can do, which the woman’s family failed to do, is express pride. “By expressing pride in their time and acknowledging that maintaining sobriety isn’t easy, they are reminded that despite the challenges they’ve faced they’re still sober, and that’s a wonderful accomplishment,” notes Recovering Champions' site.
It’s also good to provide support, help and companionship as the person works towards the next milestone. This can come in the form of assisting them with their resume, driving them to appointments, offering to attend meetings with them, or even just lending an ear.
Experts say it’s important to not be judgmental and to be an active listener. It can also help if you ask what their triggers are so that you can avoid them. Opening a bottle of wine when they announce their one-year sobriety anniversary might very well be one of them.
The woman provided some more info on her alcoholism in the comments
"I'm genuinely proud of you": netizens showered the woman with praise and congratulations
"Find a group who understands": some people felt everyone involved could have done better
"Don't expect non-addicts to give you cookies": not everyone was sympathetic
