Respect is absolutely fundamental to any healthy and happy long-term relationship. Without it, it’s not quite a partnership, is it? When your partner asks you to stop calling you something, it’s probably a good idea to take their feelings into account, instead of trampling all over them.
Redditor u/Entreprenuer512, who is a successful business owner with a background in accounting, shared how frustrated she got when her ex-fiancé constantly introduced her to everyone as a bookkeeper. Eventually, things got so bad that she walked out on him at an event and then ended up dumping him. Scroll down for the full story.
Bored Panda has reached out to the author via Reddit, and we’ll update the article as soon as we hear back from her.
When you're a business owner and an accountant, it can really hurt when someone keeps calling you a bookkeeper
Image credits: Andrea Piacquadio (not the actual photo)
One woman shared how she enforced some healthy boundaries when her ex-partner didn't show her the proper respect
Image credits: Ivan Samkov (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Anastasia Shuraeva (not the actual photo)
The author later shared a couple of incredibly important updates about what happened next
Image credits: KoolShooters (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Entreprenuer512
The woman's family was incredibly supportive of her decision to move on
If we can learn anything from the OP’s story on the AITA subreddit, it’s that proper communication, active listening, and mutual respect are incredibly important. Oh, and let’s not forget just how vital healthy boundaries are when everything else is lacking.
Reddit user u/Entreprenuer512 had a very no-nonsense approach to the entire situation with her ex-partner. She constantly asked him not to refer to her as a bookkeeper because it was disrespectful, considering that she’s a successful business owner. However, he refused to comply.
Lo and behold—he had to deal with the consequences of his actions. She left him at an event after his latest rude comments. Later, she broke up with him. The cherry on top? She actually showed him all of the comments on Reddit that people wrote after reading about their situation.
Though a breakup is hardly ever easy, it really helps if you have loved ones who can support you throughout whatever’s happening. The OP’s family, for instance, were absolute legends. “My family responded by buying champagne,” she said how they reacted when they heard that she’d broken things off with her fiancé. “God I love my family!”
Image credits: Askar Abayev (not the actual photo)
Your partner has to be willing to actively listen to your concerns and admit when they made a mistake
Though it might sound obvious, when there’s an issue with communication in a relationship, the couple needs to sit down and talk about the problem. However, you can’t just shout your opinion and then shut your ears to what your partner has to say. Honest communication doesn’t work like that.
What really helps is going into the conversation as a team, intent on hearing out each other’s perspectives. Now, some people’s immediate reaction is to interrupt their partner because they feel hurt by what they have to say. But it’s important to control this impulse. Proper conversations are all about active listening, not just waiting for your turn to speak.
It’s also really helpful if you don’t directly accuse your partner of anything because that’ll only make them more defensive. This, in turn, is going to make reaching any sort of compromise more difficult. You need to explain to them how their actions make you feel and propose a solution to everything.
If your partner is even slightly reasonable, they’ll probably admit that they’ve made a mistake. It takes a lot of guts to admit to acknowledge this. However, if your partner keeps ignoring the issue, it’s time to enforce some firmer boundaries. It might also be time to rethink the relationship as a whole. You should not have to stand for being disrespected whether that’s in private or in public.
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Disrespect and poor communication are common reasons why couples break up
According to Forbes, couples most often break up due to growing apart or constantly arguing. For women, especially, a lack of respect, financial troubles, and not sharing housework were more important reasons for breaking up than for men.
Research shows that many of the problems that eventually lead to breakups, from infidelity to issues with communication, were already present at the start of the relationship.
That’s why it’s so important to be aware of what your partner is like just as you start dating them. You cannot expect that things will improve on their own. These are issues that need to be addressed as soon as possible, before the relationship develops further.
Meanwhile, Marriage.com stressed the fact that poor communication is a very common cause of relationship problems. More than half of couples break up due to problems with communication. On the flip side, open and honest communication is known to increase satisfaction in relationships.
Image credits: Nataliya Vaitkevich (not the actual photo)
Many readers were on the author's side. Here's what they said about the entire situation
The absolute majority of internet users thought that the woman did the right thing
