A healthy relationship needs to have a lot of give and take so that both partners feel loved. If one person drops the ball by not making enough effort or always waiting for their partner to make the first move, it can end up causing a lot of resentment.
This is exactly what one woman faced in her relationship because her boyfriend of three years never seemed to remember her birthday and didn’t think it was necessary to do anything special for her. That’s why she eventually got frustrated and asked people online for advice.
More info: Reddit
When things start becoming one-sided between partners, it can lead to a conflict and make the person putting in the most effort feel unloved
Image credits: Kateryna Hliznitsova / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
The poster explained that she had been with her boyfriend for three years and that she always planned special things for holidays, his birthdays, and their anniversaries
Image credits: Lala Azizli / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
Even though she never skimped on things for her boyfriend, he didn’t do the same in return, and either forgot her birthday or got her last-minute gifts
Image credits: Camandona / Freepik (not the actual photo)
The woman eventually decided to match her boyfriend’s lack of effort, and didn’t even remind him of her birthday, which he later ended up getting her a cheap gift for
Image credits: Freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
The man also didn’t install their bathtub, which was the one thing the poster asked him to do for her
Image credits: FreeNefariousness498
The poster was fed up with her partner’s behavior and wanted to leave him, but since she depended on him for his car, she felt stuck in the relationship
Right from the start, the OP had put a lot of effort into making her boyfriend happy and giving him special gifts regardless of how much money she had. She knew that the thought she put into the presents and experiences would make him happy, which is why she kept doing it, even if he didn’t.
According to experts, people don’t need to give each other expensive gifts, because even simple, thoughtful presents can make a big impact as well. It’s all about showing the other person how much you love and care for them, which is exactly what the woman had been doing for her boyfriend.
Unfortunately, she had slowly noticed that her relationship was quite one-sided, and her partner didn’t seem to put in as much effort as she did. He kept forgetting her birthday, bought her last-minute gifts, and never planned anything for her to enjoy, which slowly began to make her feel resentful.
When one person has to continually initiate every event or interaction, it can make them feel very unappreciated. This is especially true if their partner always relies on them financially and emotionally, which might make them feel like they can never take a break or get the same kind of support in return.
Image credits: kuroos_angel / Reddit
The woman noticed how little effort her boyfriend put in for her, so she decided to do the same thing to him by matching his energy. Unfortunately, that just made her feel bad because he didn’t seem to realize the change in her behavior, and he also forgot her birthday till the very last minute.
When people find themselves in an unbalanced relationship like this, therapists advise talking to their partner directly and using ‘I’ statements to voice any concerns. Although it might be tough at first to speak about the one-sidedness, over time, it might help the other individual recognize where they are falling short and make a change.
Instead of talking to her boyfriend, the woman decided to keep quiet and let him make his own bed. She knew that there were other problems as well and that she should end the relationship, but she didn’t want to because she relied on him for his car.
The OP also told people that she was in the process of saving up to get her own vehicle and that in a few months she’d probably be able to afford it. Hopefully, once she does that, she can break up with her boyfriend and move on to a healthier relationship.
What do you think about this situation, and what advice would you give to the woman? Do share your thoughts down below, and if you’ve ever been in a one-sided relationship like this.
People urged the woman to leave her partner and not settle for such behavior
