Language is our primary tool for communication, and when partners don’t share the same mother tongue, it can make the relationship more interesting for sure, but it can also be more challenging. Often, not being able to speak in the same first language can lead to misinterpretations and frustration that create strains on the couple.
Surprisingly for redditor False_Quiet526 and her boyfriend, the fact that she didn't speak his mother tongue was no problem, as they both perfectly knew English. That is, until she overheard his cheating confession in a language she supposedly didn’t understand.
When partners don't speak the same mother tongue, it can make the relationship more challenging
Image credits: Pressmaster (not the actual image)
What this woman didn't expect is that her boyfriend would use his mother tongue to flaunt the fact that he cheated
Image credits: LightFieldStudios (not the actual image)
Image credits: Michael Burrows (not the actual image)
Image credits: False_Quiet526
Around 43% of the world’s population is bilingual
Around 43% of the world’s population is bilingual, so it’s almost a 50/50 chance that one’s future partner is going to be one. As relationships become more culturally and linguistically diverse, they may face more challenges, as divorce rates for multilingual couples are higher.
A language barrier may make it more difficult to create the kind of deep connection that can be fostered in partners who share the same mother tongue. The shared language that the couple decides on communicating with (e.g., English) may lack the concepts and words that exist in their native ones. This can make it more difficult to clearly communicate what one wants to say, leading to frustration and even misunderstandings.
Research also found that an individual’s personality can unconsciously change when they switch between languages. A person can feel more confident and assertive when speaking, for example, Spanish, and feel more timid and introverted when conversing in English. Not being able to communicate with a partner in the same language may mean that they won’t ever know their full and true personalities.
In fact, the cultural differences between the couple may be an even bigger barrier than language, says professional counselor Dr. Jane Elizabeth Dum. Those who come from different backgrounds might have learned to communicate, express themselves, and voice their affection in varying ways. Navigating the partner's differences in values, beliefs, and behaviors may require more patience and understanding, as they might not realize how different their worlds were before meeting each other.
Image credits: Ketut Subiyanto (not the actual image)
Dating someone from a different culture can open up a person to new experiences and worldviews
Of course, being in a multilingual relationship can have its benefits too. Dating someone from a different culture can open up a person to new experiences and worldviews. Even though the couple might have differing perspectives on the world, it can be a great opportunity to find value in things one may have overlooked while being comfortable in their own culture without challenging their established views.
Traveling also becomes more exciting as the partners get to visit each other’s home countries. Not only does this provide more insights into how they came to be the personalities they are today, but it also can strengthen the relationship by opening it to new experiences. Showing around your hometown to your significant other can be so much fun and makes you see your own home in a new light.
However, there might come a point when this bond may benefit from learning each other’s languages. If the partners feel like inside jokes or random slang words are no longer sufficient, it might be time to crack open a textbook or download Duolingo.
As an adult, it might feel intimidating to learn a whole new language but having a significant other by one’s side who they can practice with daily can really help with the progress. As the relationship grows and matures, the language skills should follow a similar pattern!
Image credits: Mikhail Nilov (not the actual image)
Some readers supported the woman
While others thought they were both jerks for their own different reasons
Later, the woman posted an update
Image credits: Kampus Production (not the actual image)
Image credits: False_Quiet526
The update received all sorts of reactions
