The unfortunate reality is that many women feel unsafe in public spaces, where they’re harassed by men who want to pick them up. And no, this isn’t about ‘innocent’ flirting—it’s about persistent, aggressive guys who can’t seem to take ‘no’ for an answer and may even resort to threats. They feel like they’re ‘owed’ attention. Some women have had to come up with unusual but highly effective tactics to get them to leave them alone.
In an anonymous post, redditor u/workinthrowway1 revealed that she pretends to be deaf for this reason. However, she felt guilty about pretending to be disabled, so she turned to the AITA online community for their verdict. Scroll down for the full story, as well as to see what the internet had to say.
Many women are victims of harassment in public spaces
Image credits: Chris Ainsworth (not the actual photo)
One woman shared how she deals with men who won't leave her alone
Image credits: SHVETS production (not the actual photo)
The woman later shared an update on how she plans to handle similar situations in the future
Image credits: workinthrowway1
The woman felt slightly guilty about her tactic to get rid of men, so she turned to the internet for advice
Most AITA community members were on the OP’s side. They fully supported the idea that she’s using whatever ideas are available to her in order to stay safe while out in public. A few redditors also pointed out that it’s the harassers who ought to feel guilty, not her.
Meanwhile, some members of the deaf community added that they don’t care that someone’s pretending to be one of them. Safety—that’s the priority, according to them, not whether someone is sensitive enough about what they might (not) like. A few redditors, though, got offended by the OP’s actions, on behalf of the deaf community.
The OP noted that a new tactic that she is going to try out is speaking to the men who approach her in a foreign language. “I’m going to pretend to speak French (I know a little bit of it),” she wrote in one of her comments.
Image credits: Jack Chen (not the actual photo)
Most people have either been a victim of street harassment or witnessed it
According to a 2021 IPSOS study, 80% of women have experienced sexual harassment in public spaces. Meanwhile, 76% of people have already witnessed this harassment in public.
The ‘Stand Up’ program notes that street harassment can often be subtle and insidious. “But whenever it’s unwanted verbal, non-verbal, physical conduct of a sexual nature, it’s harassment,” the project explains.
Some types of street harassment include invading someone’s personal space, pressing or rubbing up against their body, groping, backhanded compliments, brushing up against them, asking them to ‘smile,’ making sexist jokes, and others. These deeply negative experiences devalue the victims and can be very traumatic.
Image credits: Christopher Alvarenga (not the actual photo)
It's essential to be aware of your surroundings, no matter where you are
Your safety is paramount, no matter where you are. But when you’re living in a big city or you’ve just arrived at an unfamiliar new location, it makes sense to be more vigilant than usual. This means being aware of your surroundings as much as possible.
This might involve being more careful about where you go at night. For instance, you may want to avoid cutting through parking lots, taking shortcuts through alleys, or getting money from an ATM when it’s dark out. It’s also a good idea to avoid wearing expensive jewelry or designer clothing in areas that are known for criminal activity.
“Don’t hesitate to look around you. Who’s behind you while you’re walking? Next to you?” safety and security expert Cathy Pedrayes told Bored Panda earlier.
“Plan transportation ahead of time, have copies of your passport and leave a copy with someone back home should yours get lost, [and] communicate your travel itinerary with someone back home,” she shared some advice on staying safe while traveling abroad.
Image credits: Filip Mroz (not the actual photo)
Most internet users were on the post author's side. Here's what they said
A few readers shared some helpful advice
