Every couple has its own timeline. Milestones such as “I love you,” meeting the family, and moving in together should be reached if and when partners wish to do these things. Not because others say so.
This post may include affiliate links.
Recently, TikToker Estella (@est.ellita) uploaded a video revealing she was planning to propose to her boyfriend of fourteen years. Excited, the woman said she didn’t think she’d get so nervous and added that she picked their first-kiss anniversary to pop the question.
However, instead of being happy for her, people on the platform were mostly questioning the guy’s commitment: if he really wanted the same, why hadn’t he gotten on one knee himself?
Traditionally, men in heterosexual relationships are the ones who propose
Image credits: Rawpixel / Envato (not the actual photo)
But this woman couldn't wait any longer for her partner to get down on his knee, so she took matters into her own hands
Image credits: est.ellita
Image credits: est.ellita
She did it on their first-kiss anniversary
Image credits: est.ellita
Image credits: est.ellita
Image credits: est.ellita
How does one know if they're ready for marriage?
The Knot 2024 Jewelry & Engagement Study surveyed nearly 8,000 recently engaged couples and found that 30% of couples date for two years or less before getting engaged, 53% for two to five years, and 17% for six or more.
But dating coach and bestselling coauthor of Just When You're Comfortable in Your Own Skin, It Starts to Sag, Amy Nobile thinks the "how long should you date before proposing" debate is pointless, and the answer varies by couple.
"I want people to know that they have to ask the tough questions upfront in a relationship before they know if it's right to be engaged to somebody," she says.
To get couples on the same page, Nobile asks them to think about the "three-four rule" while dating. This rule suggests people ask four important questions by the third date or within the first three months of the relationship:
- Is there chemistry or a connection? That might seem obvious, but sometimes when you really think about the connection, it isn't as strong as you'd like it to be.
- Are you aligned on core values? Whether it's love for your country, family, honesty, integrity, or kindness, pay attention to whether you and your partner are at odds in what you believe is important in life.
- Is your partner emotionally mature and available? To determine this, you should ask about their past relationships, their part in the breakup, how they healed from it, and what they want to do differently in their current relationship.
- Is your partner ready, in the same way that you're ready, to take the relationship to the next level? Nobile says, "We have to talk about these things. Some people will say to me, 'Oh, no, that's too scary. What if asking that question freaks that person out?' And my answer is, 'Well, there's your answer.'"
Still, there's no way to "divorce-proof" a marriage.
Estella's videos have received millions of views
And thousands of comments
