Having people ask you for favors can get pretty annoying pretty fast if they don’t take ‘no’ for an answer. Babysitting, for instance, is a touchy subject. Sure, many people are willing to help their family and friends out from time to time. But it’s not like anyone’s entitled to free babysitting services just because they’re related.
Redditor u/Available-Break1746 wanted to get the AITA online community’s perspective after a bit of family drama. She decided to rebook her entire flight after her cousin said that they’d be flying together and asked her to babysit her kid for a whopping 8 hours mid-air. After her cousin got upset, she wondered if she had overstepped a bit. Check out the full story and the online reactions below.
Babysitting a small child for 8 hours on an airplane isn't many people's idea of a comfortable flight
Image credits: megostudio / envato (not the actual photo)
An anonymous woman felt like she had to take drastic measures just to avoid becoming her cousin's babysitter mid-air
Image credits: megostudio / envato (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Available-Break1746
Ideally, you'll talk to the person about them respecting your boundaries ASAP, instead of keeping those feelings inside to fester
Saying ‘no’ and enforcing your boundaries can be incredibly awkward at first. Some people feel guilty about prioritizing their own needs above those of others.
However, like any other skill or mindset, the more you practice respecting and protecting your needs, the easier it gets until it becomes a habit. Others also eventually learn what to expect from you and (hopefully) won’t bombard you with too many requests for favors, including for babysitting duty.
According to The Friendship Blog, many individuals have a problem saying ‘no’ because they think it might make them look like bad people. Sometimes, the people asking for favors might not be aware of the burden they’re placing on you. What’s more, they might not necessarily be willing to reciprocate that kindness in the future.
The Friendship Blog explains that for friendships to work, they need to be reciprocal. There needs to be a give-and-take dynamic that’s balanced.
“That doesn’t mean that they are equal at every point in time but over time, one hand washes the other. If you are always on the giving end of a friendship, however, you are going to begin feeling put upon and angry. The relationship is going to feel too one-sided.”
There’s no real alternative to open and honest communication. If there’s an issue with someone continuously ignoring your boundaries, needs, and wants, you need to talk to them about it. You should be friendly but firm, diplomatic but determined, and avoid being overly judgmental or angry, so you get your message across.
Explain to them how their actions affect you and what you’d like your relationship to look like in the future. If the other person is particularly malicious, you can lay out the potential consequences, too, including spending less time together.
There's nothing wrong with saying 'no.' If the other person can't take it for an answer, it's their problem, not yours
Image credits: Curated Lifestyle / unsplash (not the actual photo)
Generally speaking, you should have those (admittedly, uncomfortable) conversations before you get all fed up. Don’t wait until you’re extremely frustrated by their pattern of behavior before speaking up.
You also shouldn’t feel guilty for saying ‘no.’ It’s literally impossible to say ‘yes’ to all favors, opportunities, and activities in life. You’re always saying ‘no’ to lots of things, even if you don’t necessarily voice this aloud.
“Even the best of friends don’t always agree or see things eye to eye. Your friend may think it’s perfectly reasonable to ask a favor of you but you may feel otherwise. True friends have to be sensitive to each other’s feelings and be willing to accept NO for an answer, whether or not they think it’s reasonable,” The Friendship Blog says.
“Sure, we all want to help out our friends and support them but if the personal cost of saying yes is too great, either morally or logistically, it’s okay to say NO.” Furthermore, if your friend can’t accept your ‘no,’ it’s not your problem. It’s theirs.
Verywell Mind suggests that when setting boundaries, you:
- Tell the other person how much you value the friendship;
- Communicate your boundaries very simply and as clearly as possible;
- Express your needs, wants, as well as limits;
- Don’t make excuses or apologize, and be firm but kind;
- Remind the other person that you care about them.
Redditor u/Available-Break1746’s post garnered 2.3k upvotes as well as nearly 270 comments. Unfortunately, the author of the post’s account got suspended, so we were unable to reach out to her for further comment.
But what’s your take, Pandas? Do you think the author of the post did the right thing by rebooking her entire flight or was that a step too far? What would you have done differently? How do you protect your boundaries in the face of favor-seekers? Has anyone asked you to babysit when it was very inconvenient for you? Tell us what you think in the comments!
The woman later interacted with some of the netizens reading her post, and answered their questions
Most internet users were on the author's side. Here's how they saw the family drama
A handful of people had very different interpretations of the situation
