Adoption is often a magical experience, as it puts kids in a loving home and can also help folks create their own family. The only issue that adopters might sometimes face is backlash from their friends or family regarding their decision.
This is what a woman experienced when she decided to take in her friend’s baby girl around the time that she had her own kid, which unfortunately turned her family against her. Since they wanted to know which child had been adopted, and she wasn’t telling them, it turned into a big conflict.
More info: Reddit
People might face hurdles when introducing their adopted child to their loved ones, as folks may struggle with the idea of biology and blood relations
Image credits: Getty Images / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
The poster explained that she and her friend, Anna, got pregnant at the same time, but since Anna didn’t want to keep her baby, she decided to adopt it instead
Image credits: Vitaly Gariev / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
After the baby girls were born, the poster introduced them to her family, but she was shocked when they only wanted to know who her “real daughter” was
Image credits: Antoni Shkraba Studio / Pexels (not the actual photo)
The poster threatened to cut her family off if they kept pushing to know who her biological child was, but she also felt bad, as she desperately needed help with the babies
Image credits: anon
The poster later mentioned that Anna and another friend were helping her care for the babies, and that she still wasn’t sure how to handle her family’s doubts
The OP mentioned that she was going to manage her upcoming pregnancy on her own, and that she had also decided to help her friend, Anna, out by adopting her baby girl. Since the other woman wasn’t in a good place emotionally and financially, she was okay with the poster being the kid’s legal guardian instead.
Although it might seem like a huge decision to let a friend adopt your child, professionals explain that it’s a good way to ensure that the kid is raised by someone you love and trust. This process can only happen through an independent or identified adoption process wherein the chosen people fill out the necessary paperwork and then undergo a home visit to ensure they are qualified.
Since the poster and Anna had not completed any official adoption processes, the other woman was still technically the legal guardian of her child. Despite that, the OP took the baby under her wing and started making her a part of the family, along with the little one that she had just given birth to. Unfortunately, her family wasn’t so open-minded and insisted on knowing which one was the adopted child.
According to experts, this kind of pushback is actually a common thing that many adopters experience from their loved ones. The reason for this could be due to their fears over the lengthy or complicated process, or even because they aren’t able to accept the child as a natural part of their family.
Image credits: Freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
Since the poster didn’t want there to be any discrimination between the two children, she made sure to let her family know that she wouldn’t be revealing which one was adopted. She explained that only once the girls got a bit older, and she could tell them the truth, only then would she let everyone else know.
This obviously didn’t go down too well with her family, who felt that she was being selfish by keeping them from her “real daughter.” They also didn’t understand why she was making such a fuss and tried to guilt her into letting them be a part of the children’s lives as long as they could know which one was which.
The poster had clearly made up her mind to keep the adoption information a secret from her loved ones, but research states that it’s actually better to keep your family informed from day one. This way, they will have enough time to process the information and also voice their concerns, which can then be worked on.
Since the OP’s relatives weren’t backing down or respecting her decision, she eventually decided to block many of them. Unfortunately, this greatly reduced her circle of support, which made her feel worried, but luckily Anna and another friend kept coming over and helping out whenever they could.
What do you think about the postpartum mom’s decision not to let her family know which of her babies was adopted? Do share your honest thoughts down below.
Most folks sided with the woman and felt that her loved ones would probably treat her daughters differently if she let them know which one was adopted
