It can be hard for parents to find someone to babysit their kids. In fact, 84% of parents say that finding childcare is a constant battle. If family members and friends are off the table, they might turn to neighbors. There's one condition, though: pressuring them to agree is never a good strategy.
This woman asked people online whether she was a jerk for saying 'no' to watching her neighbor's kids while working from home. As other neighbors started guilt-tripping her in the group chat, she started doubting her decision. However, many people sided with the woman, saying she didn't need any excuses: "'No' is a complete sentence," one netizen wrote.
Working from home doesn't mean a person automatically has time to look after kids
Image credits: Ketut Subiyanto / pexels (not the actual photo)
This woman refused to babysit the neighbor's kids, but for some reason, she had to explain herself thoroughly
Image credits: Andrea Piacquadio / pexels (not the actual photo)
Image credits: PolkaDotPenguins1945
Looking after children while working from home might not be the best idea
Image credits: Vitaly Gariev / pexels (not the actual photo)
The neighbors who ganged up on the author seemed to think working from home meant the person could provide childcare. During the pandemic, many parents had to adapt to the new way of working, taking Zoom calls while their kids chatted and wreaked havoc outside their home office door. But that doesn't mean that these wartime measures apply now. More so to people who don't actually have kids and are only asked to babysit.
In fact, looking after children while working from home can be dangerous for the kids. Childcare company Bright New Horizons writes that children require an adult's full attention. The same goes for work: the neighbors in this scenario are showing disrespect to the woman and her career by assuming she should do her job half-heartedly while looking after somebody else's kids.
Leaving kids with someone who will probably spend most of the day in front of the computer might also not be the best idea for the children's socio-emotional development. Bright New Horizons is, therefore, all for childcare centers. "[They] give children the opportunity to learn and interact with other kids their age, which is great for their social-emotional development."
It's true that some parents are able to successfully look after their kids and run a business from their home simultaneously. But assuming that your neighbor will be able to do the same is another thing.
Finding a babysitter is becoming increasingly difficult for parents
Image credits: Andrea Piacquadio / pexels (not the actual photo)
People who become parents have to sacrifice a lot of things. Free time and going out whenever you want are some examples. As Lauren Davidson writes for Scary Mommy, childless people think that getting someone to look after your kids is easy. "Just get a babysitter," they say. However, the reality couldn't be further from the truth.
Data from Care shows that 89% of parents had to decline or cancel plans because they couldn't find a babysitter. Natalie Mayslich, president of the child care resource hub Care, told Yahoo! that the situation has only been getting worse in the past few years.
"The caregiving workforce is shrinking and rates are rising, which makes looking for a sitter an extremely stressful, competitive and time-consuming process." It also affects moms disproportionately, as only 48% say they get regular time off from their kids.
How did the situation get so bad? For starters, teens and young adults babysit way less than they used to in the past. Their lives are way busier than they were 10 or 20 years ago. Extracurricular activities, high-level courses, homework, and even sleep – these are the things teens nowadays spend more time doing.
It's also hard to find the right babysitter for your kids. A good nanny has to connect with the children as well as with the rest of the family, and for some, that can be a long and arduous process. And even if parents are lucky to find a good match, there's always a risk friends or acquaintances might poach the nanny – 41% of parents say they've been victims of 'babysitter stealing.'
Saying 'no' to babysitting might be hard, but setting boundaries is necessary
Even if you understand parents' struggles to find adequate childcare, that doesn't mean you should do it out of pity. The reasons for not wanting to babysit can be many: work-related, illness, a family emergency, having too much work, etc.
However, a simple 'Because you don't want to' is a valid reason, too. Lora Brawley, founder of Nanny Care Hub in Ocean Shores, told Care how the best policy is to be direct and courteous. "You can say, 'Thank you for asking me to babysit for your family; however, I'm unavailable." And there's no need to get into any specifics. "Always keep the reason about you because no one can argue with your needs and feelings."
Babysitter Lydia Kutz says that even professional babysitters turn down jobs from time to time. "You can say no, you have the power to say no, and it's okay for you to say no for any reason. I have turned down plenty of jobs in the past, I still turn down jobs to this day, I know I probably will turn down jobs in the future that are not right for me."
The author gave more information about the neighborhood and the family's circumstances in the comments
People in the comments agreed unanimously: the neighbors shouldn't force the author to be a babysitter
