“Hated Every Second Of It”: Couple Refuse To Host Family Ever Again After What They Did

Having a large home is normally a cause for celebration. You have more space and room for kids and you can host friends and family when the need arises. Hosting can be tiring, but rewarding, however, that all goes out the window if the people who have entered your home have no manners at all.

A woman and her husband caused some family drama when they refused to host their in-laws who had absolutely trashed their home the last time they visited. Commenters aggressively sided with OP and did their best to give some suggestions.

Historically, the vast amount of cultures and religions worldwide would argue pretty heavily for the rights and privileges of a guest. The host would, generally, have to take responsibility to wine and dine, entertain, and protect the various people who have entered their home. Hospitality has always been a valued trait for good reason, in the age before Uber and Airbnb, traveling often meant putting yourself at significant risk.

In some ways, this is still true today. Who can forget the uproar and confusion caused by the revelation that Swedish parents won’t feed their kid’s friends when they come over? Incidentally, this isn’t as bad as it sounds, it's simply a way to avoid putting a kid on a specific diet or with food allergies at risk.

All in all, it does already seem like hosting comes with enough chores and tasks. Cooking and cleaning (or at least paying for these services) is generally accepted, plus, once kids are involved, there will be some messiness and chaos. However, as OP and basically anyone else can confidently confirm, the husband’s family went far beyond what might be expected. A mess can be forgiven, but the violation of personal space is a step too far.

The things she lists range from deeply annoying to downright disturbing. For example, first and foremost, whoever looted the medicine cabinet. There are really no good scenarios here, either some kids started pilfering random pills or there was an adult who really thought they needed OP’s medicine.

They also mention the food waste and dirty plates. While it might not seem like much in itself, as anyone who has dealt with roaches and ants knows, leaving food just lying about is a major risk. It’s also telling that the only person to actually check if the hosts needed anything was not a blood relative of the husband. However, family being entitled is nothing new, unfortunately.

It’s also worth mentioning the fact that, as far as we know, none of the guests offered to bring food, snacks or a dish. While much of the legwork is placed on the host, in many cultures it’s considered rude to show up empty-handed. One should at least bring a few things to put on the table. The amount of entitlement on display is downright concerning.

All in all, OP’s desire to ban her in-laws from the house is well-founded and completely warranted. Who even knows what sort of damage they might do in the long run? As new homeowners, it’s pretty normal to be attached to the place you live. The fact that they fully dismissed her concerns is also quite questionable. If they see this sort of behavior as normal and acceptable, what will they get up to when they are even more comfortable?

Fortunately, for OP, she has both her husband and the internet squarely on her side. Indeed, just the fact that she had to ask the internet if it was ok to not host people who trashed her home is a good indicator that her in-laws gaslighting was getting to her. Hopefully, this will just strengthen their resolve to keep these folks away.