A 26-year-old woman turned to the AITA community on Reddit for a moral judgement.
In a post that amassed 1.8k comments and 10.1k upvotes, the author explained that her younger sister Sadie, who lives in Canada with her newborn twins, has been going through hard times.
“I moved to England a few years ago to study at my dream university. I ended staying there with my now husband, Lewis (30m),” the author explained. But recently, the Redditor received a request from Sadie to which she felt no choice but to say no.
People tend to do whatever it takes to help their family in need, however, there are times when it's just not possible
Image credits: RODNAE Productions (not the actual photo)
A 26-year-old woman refuses to move to Canada to help her family who is going through very challenging times and wonders if she's wrong to do so
Image credits: National Cancer Institute (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Ketut Subiyanto (not the actual photo)
Image credits: AlarmingCrew6726
"If you choose to carry forward beliefs from your family, that's great. If you decide to go in an entirely different direction, that's OK, too," an expert says
When you’re a part of a family, there is always a chance of a disagreement; conflict, quarrels and drama between relatives are almost impossible to avoid. It’s all human and completely normal, because we all have different beliefs and values that, more often than not, clash.
And while we all agree that family conflict to some degree is normal, it’s the repair that matters the most. Many people struggle to find reconciliation, so we reached out to Susan DeCou, a certified stress management coach with over 30 years of experience coaching others in the corporate world as a trainer, coach, manager, and mentor, helping others become the best they can possibly be, to find out how to start restoring friendly family relationships.
DeCou told us that as part of people’s stress management program, she advises her clients to write down what their belief system and value system includes. “What is important to you? What are the traits that you believe are important for a human being to have? If you choose to carry forward beliefs from your family or culture, then that's great. If you decide to go in an entirely different direction, that's OK, too,” she explained.
There are also some key questions to ask yourself when you're not sure how to move forward. “Am I hurting myself by doing this? Am I hurting someone else? Does this action fall within the boundaries of my value system? What would my heroes do in this situation? Am I willing to accept the consequences of this action?”
According to DeCou, every situation is different, so it’s important to take your time and make calm, rational decisions in big situations like this. “Don't let your emotional self rule the day,” she concluded.
Many people thought that the author was not in the wrong to refuse to leave her home to be with her family
