Living with a friend is a quintessential part of growing up. Whether you decide to be roommates during college or move to the same city after finishing your degrees, there’s something so special about knowing that there’s always someone you love waiting at home for you. But no pair of roommates is immune to having conflicts, even if they’ve been friends for years.
One woman recently reached out to Reddit seeking advice after her roommate’s boyfriend tried to “test” her to see if he wanted to move in with her. Below, you’ll find the full story, as well as some of the replies invested readers shared.
This woman is tired of her roommate's boyfriend freeloading at their place
Image credits: freepik (not the actual image)
But after the man gave her a "roommate test," she decided that there's no way he would be moving in with them
Image credits: freepik (not the actual image)
Image credits: YuriArcursPeopleimages (not the actual image)
Image credits: WholesomeArio
Conflicts between roommates are inevitable
One of the first times that many of us experience living with a roommate is when we start college. In fact, a survey conducted by Benchworks found that a whopping 87% of first-year college students live with at least one roommate.
Whether you’ve moved to a new city or just want some space from your parents, having a roommate can be an extremely beneficial part of your college experience. If you didn’t know each other before you moved into the same place, you might become best friends by the end of the semester. And even if you don’t hit it off, having a roommate can teach you many valuable life skills.
Conflicts are inevitable, so this might be the first time in a student’s life when they’ll need to make compromises and work together to find a solution, rather than throwing in the towel and simply moving out or spending the entire year extremely uncomfortable in their own home.
And when it comes to the issues that typically arise between roommates, National Student Services notes on their site that having different cleaning habits is often a problem. If you hate having dishes sitting in the sink, yet your roommate doesn’t mind going a week without washing up, you both might need to make some compromises.
Another common conflict that roommates fight about is borrowing things without asking. Whether it’s a top you stole from your roommate’s closet or you’ve used half of their carton of milk before they even got a sip, this kind of behavior can quickly transform roommates from friends into enemies.
Having guests over all the time can be another big problem for roommates. When you share a living space, you have to respect the other people who live there as well. It’s not appropriate to have your band or your boyfriend or your best friend around at all hours using resources, making noise and taking up space when your roommate never agreed to live with them.
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It's important to be able to spot the signs of controlling behavior
In this particular situation, however, simply being present in the home isn’t the only thing that this man did to upset his girlfriend’s roommate. Many commenters pointed out that the behavior he exhibited through his “test” was very concerning.
We have no way of knowing how he treats his girlfriend when they’re alone together, but according to VeryWell Health, there are some telltale signs of controlling behavior that it’s important to be aware of and look out for. First, it’s not a good sign if someone always wants their way or the highway. Making demands then being unable to compromise or hear another point of view is a red flag.
If someone always wants to be the center of attention, that might be a sign of controlling behavior as well. And if they start to criticize their partner or try to keep them away from friends and loved ones, that’s another huge red flag.
They may also blame others for their actions, manipulate and gaslight others, refuse to respect boundaries, exhibit unpredictable behavior, claim that they were “just joking” after doing or saying something inappropriate, try to change their partner and use intimidation. It was definitely not a good sign that this man tried to control his girlfriend’s roommate’s behavior before he even moved in, and the woman was right to be concerned.
We would love to hear your thoughts on this situation in the comments below, pandas. What would you have done in this woman’s situation? Then, if you’d like to check out another Bored Panda article discussing similar issues, look no further than right here!
Image credits: freepik (not the actual image)
Readers shared their concern for the author in the comments, and she joined in on the conversation
Many assured the woman that she had done nothing wrong and stressed how inappropriate the man's behavior was
