Some people strike it lucky when they get married. Not only do they score a great life partner, but also an incredible set of in-laws and a second, supportive family. Then there are those who have to suffer through the drama and dread of dealing with less-than-nice parents, sisters, or brothers-in-law.
Like one woman who has faced constant jabs from her husband's younger sister. She says her SIL accuses her of being a "gold digger" who married for money. Things came to a head recently when said sister-in-law got evicted and turned to her brother for help. His wife flat-out refused to let her stay with them. Now, the whole extended family is caught up in the drama.
She's sick of being called a gold digger by her husband's sister
Image credits: freepik (not the actual photo)
So when said SIL desperately needed a place to stay, it was a 'hard no!'
Image credits: dikushin (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Firm_Assumption_7940
How to deal with a toxic sister-in-law, according to the experts
Life would be so easy if sisters-in-law stuck together and saw each other as fellow women and friends. But alas, that's not always the case. Sometimes we get the short straw in the form of a terrible, bitter in-law who just doesn't want to see us happy.
The firstcry parenting site defines a “toxic sister-in-law” as one who "exhibits behavior that is harmful, negative, or emotionally damaging within the context of family relationships." It adds that this type of behavior can manifest in a range of ways: Manipulation, jealousy, criticism, gossip, or constantly creating conflict and drama.
"Toxic in-laws can create tension that seeps into every corner of your life," warn the experts at Marriage.com. "You might find yourself feeling drained after every interaction… or second-guessing your choices because of their constant criticism."
The toxicity that your SIL brings to the table can also seep into your marriage, and cause unnecessary arguments between you and your spouse. Boundaries, communication and patience are key.
If you're dealing with a sister-in-law who seems to hate you, and is constantly mean to you, the experts advise limiting the time you spend with them.
"It’s essential to protect your self-worth by recognizing that their criticism reflects their issues, not yours," notes Marriage.com. "Set boundaries around what you’re willing to discuss, and consider limiting your interactions to avoid unnecessary stress."
The site also suggests talking to your spouse about how the criticism affects you, and working together as a team to present a united front.
If your sister-in-law reeks of the green-eyed-monster, as tough as it may seem, some experts advise that you be the bigger person.
"Jealousy could crop up as you are now sharing the spotlight that used to shine on her alone, or because she feels that her bond with her family may seem less significant, now that you’re here to ‘take her place,’" explains the firstcry parenting site.
Their team suggests taking one for the team, so to speak. "Smile at her, be cheerful and civil, and k*ll it with kindness. Negative reactions from your end can worsen the situation by unnecessarily bringing other family members into the problem," they say.
The site warns that by expressing any sort of frustration or anger, you will be giving her the reaction that she wants. Rather confuse her with unexplained kindness. "Once she sees that her attempts to bring you down are futile, she will be forced to give up," they add. And one can only hope...
Image credits: Alex Green (not the actual photo)
"She can stay with mommy": many people felt the SIL got what she deserved
