Manipulators can be pretty cunning, and I have seen it with my own eyes how some people don’t even realize they are being controlled. At least I am glad my friend dumped her ex when she learned she was under his toxic spell for a long time.
Even this woman finally grew sick of her needy boyfriend who constantly demanded her attention, until she had anxiety. However, the final straw was when he threatened to kick her out as she didn’t reply to his texts for 45 minutes. Scroll down to find out about her secret plan!
More info: Reddit
Sometimes, people don't even realize that they are stuck with a manipulative partner
Image credits: Magnific / Magnific (not the actual photo)
The poster's boyfriend had a habit of turning nasty when he thought she was ignoring him, and it gave her anxiety whenever he texted
Image credits: etonastenka / Magnific (not the actual photo)
When the poster went to a friend's birthday party, he bombarded her with texts and phone calls, crying about a panic attack
Image credits: dikushin / Magnific (not the actual photo)
However, what shocked her more was that he checked her phone after she went home, and she was disgusted by his behavior
Image credits: Over-Degree-222
She sneakily moved her things to her sister's place, broke up with him when she was at a safe distance, and felt glad about her freedom
Today we look at the original poster’s (OP) life as she shares how her relationship took a twisted turn. For a year, she had been living with her boyfriend of 3 years, and found him to be genuinely amazing. However, when she was busy and couldn’t give him enough “attention,” he turned absolutely nasty and seemed like a whole different person, which really frustrated her.
She had to keep reassuring him constantly that she wasn’t ignoring him. In fact, things got so bad that she got anxious whenever her phone pinged, thinking it was him. What finally broke the camel’s back was the way he behaved when she went to a friend’s birthday party. He refused to attend, but after 45 minutes, he sent her 17 texts and 4 missed calls.
She was threatening to kick her out, so she called him back, and he was in tears after a panic attack. She tried to calm him and explain that he couldn’t threaten her like that. Well, he refused to see reason, so she went home. Much to her shock, he forced her to show her phone to check whether she had ignored him while texting other people, and the woman decided that she had enough.
The next day, he was back to being his sweet self, while she plotted her secret exit. The OP knew that she couldn't do it face-to-face, as he would try to manipulate her again. Fortunately, she soon updated that she sneakily moved her important things to her sister’s house. When she was safely away from him, she broke up, and he didn’t take it well, but she finally felt free from his shackles.
Image credits: kues1 / Magnific (not the actual photo)
The whole incident sounded pretty traumatic, so Bored Panda pulled in Eden Lobo, a counselor and psychology professor, for an interview. She explained that sometimes, when people are in love, they don’t even realize that their partner is manipulating them. Other times, they stay because manipulation slowly destroys their confidence and starts to distort their reality.
“When a partner is manipulative, controlling, and demands constant attention, it can harm a person’s mental health, lower their self-esteem, and isolate them from friends and family. This toxic dynamic creates high stress, constant anxiety, and a loss of personal freedom. Moreover, they also start to feel nervous all the time about what might trigger their partner,” she added.
Our expert also noted that apart from the emotional exhaustion, the person pulls away from loved ones as their partner demands all the time. Prof. Lobo stressed that the overall impact from being in such a toxic relationship can last a lifetime if the victims don’t seek help. She elaborated that recovery can be pretty slow, and people might have relapses where they feel like they want to go back to their toxic partner.
“However, it requires breaking all contact, unlearning self-doubt, reclaiming autonomy, and processing complex emotions at their own pace,” Prof. Lobo concluded. Well, I really hope that the poster was rid of him for good and that she got professional help if she needed it. What are your thoughts about the story? Feel free to share them with us in the comments section!
Peeps online were stunned by how the guy kept using his "love" to manipulate her, and were relieved when she dumped him
