While a wedding is a celebration of love, guests should still be mindful of the etiquette surrounding it, such as dressing appropriately, RSVPing on time, and so on. Additionally, they should be respectful of any other specific wishes the couple might have.
But after recent bride and TikTok user Rachel Romano made a video about the demands she had for people attending her ceremony, others on the platform started debating the boundaries between a positive, inclusive environment where everyone is having a good time and a cold, hostile one where the attendees act as mere props.
A recent bride has just shared the wedding rules she made all the guests follow
Image credits: rachelromanohair
And the list included a few hot topics
Image credits: maxbelchenko (not the actual photo)
"The rules we had at our wedding:
1. No kids that were under 21, except for our flower girl and our ring bearer, but their grandmother took them right after the ceremony was done. They weren't there for the reception at all. People asked us left and right if they could still bring their kids but we said no, we didn't want the liability. There was the lake on the property we had our wedding at, it just was too much. No kids, weddings aren't the place for kids. Parents, take the night off, have some cocktails with your friends and family. No kids, sorry."
Image credits: travnikovstudio (not the actual photo)
"2. Drama starter. No drinking for groomsmen before the ceremony. I've been to so many weddings where the groomsmen and or the groom (most of the time the groom too) are trashed and they can't even function during the ceremony and you spend so much money and so much time for that day. Just wait, it's a 30 minute ceremony max, just wait till the reception. And some people [trash] talk me for that, but I don't care."
Image credits: cnichols86 (not the actual photo)
"3. Do not ask to bring a plus one. We wanted to know every single person at our wedding. There was one person that we didn't know because one of our really good friends was traveling from out of town and he wanted to bring somebody with him. Totally fine. We met her there, she was awesome. But do not ask to bring a plus one. If we wanted the person there, we would have invited them. We didn't. This happened a lot, actually. And it's really stressful because you feel bad but also we had 250 people and we have people tugging at us from every side, our parents, the groom's parents, everybody. Everybody wants to bring somebody, sorry. It's the bride's and the groom's day. It's not everybody else's day."
Image credits: DragonImages (not the actual photo)
"4. Do not wear jeans to a formal wedding. Wedding attire only. A couple of you. I know who you are."
Image credits: nina_p_v (not the actual photo)
"5. We asked the families to stick to the wedding colors provided and not to make a fuss over it because we really wanted our photos to be neutral and all blend in together and now they look fabulous. But we had some backlash on that, but I don't care."
Image credits: halfpoint (not the actual photo)
"6. I loathe the people that did this. Do not stand in front of the aisle with your phone taking pictures. We don't want them. Even if you think the bride and groom are definitely going to want my photos or my videos. We don't want them, we've paid for a photographer. Our photos of us kissing down the aisle - ruined from people. One person stood in the middle of our aisle, taking photos and she's in the back of all of our pictures, so just don't do it."
Truth be told, some of the rules sound pretty reasonable
Image credits: StudioPeace (not the actual photo)
Traditional wedding guest etiquette involves a scope of responsibilities. According to the leading wedding marketplace The Knot, one out of every two guests strongly enjoys attending a wedding. And one of the best ways they can thank the couple for a wonderful time is by contributing to its vibe. According to the website's experts, proper wedding etiquette includes:
- RSVPing on time;
- Filling out the RSVP card accurately;
- Abiding by plus-one invitation details;
- Exploring the couple's wedding website;
- Preparing a wedding gift;
- Following the dress code;
- Arriving early to the wedding ceremony;
- Attending both the ceremony and reception;
- Limiting tech use;
- Being gracious and socializing responsibly;
- Respecting the seating chart;
- Observing the other guests;
- Being present.
And a wedding is a lot of work
Image credits: Sonyachny (not the actual photo)
A study looking into the wedding planning habits and behaviors of 2,000 Americans who have recently tied the knot uncovered the most time-consuming parts of the entire process, and found that the average engaged person spends 12 hours a week planning their wedding.
Most surprisingly, the average engaged American will find themselves in wedding planning mode over the course of 11 months, or 44 weeks, logging 528 hours of planning from engagement to the big day.
After the couple puts in so much work, it's only natural that they may have a few specific demands for the guests that they believe can make the big day even more special.
Regardless of how we feel about this particular case, the term 'bridezilla' isn't helping the conversation
Image credits: Rawpixel (not the actual photo)
The term bridezilla was coined in 1995, and it traditionally refers to a bride who is disrespecting those around her as she plans her wedding.
But today, people use the word to refer to almost every bride — which is why Landis Bejar, a wedding therapist and the founder of AisleTalk, thinks it's time to retire it.
"It gets watered down so much that it's used to describe any woman who cares about her wedding," Bejar told Insider. "It's being used to describe a woman who's asserting her opinion, who's asserting her needs, who has emotions."
"There are many reasons why our emotions might shift during wedding planning," Bejar added. "Maybe you're dealing with really intense family strain. Maybe this is a big identity shift for you. Maybe you're having stress in your partnership, or you're trying to appease your in-laws or you're spending a fortune."
All of that is inherently stressful, and the pressure is often increased for brides in particular because the burden of planning typically falls on their shoulders.
So maybe instead of using this label, we should first try to empathize with the woman.
Image credits: rachelromanohair
The video has already been viewed nearly 10 million times
Igniting an online debate on the difference between a normal wedding and a demanding one
