We always rely on family to be there for us, not just in happy times, but also on dark days. However, if some relatives become a burden, it’s totally fine to ask for our freedom. After all, we should all live the life we want to.
This woman had finally found happiness after years of struggle and constant care for others. Much to her dismay, her family suddenly expected her to take in her schizophrenic sister just because she had the space in her house. Read on to find out whether she caved in or fought for herself!
More info: Reddit
Everyone has a right to live the life they want, and shouldn't be forced to play caretaker for relatives
Image credits: Vitaly Gariev / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
The poster's sister lived on a different continent from her and refused to accept her schizophrenia diagnosis or take meds
Image credits: Freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
When she finally agreed to come home, everyone in the family had some issues, so they expected the poster to be her caretaker
Image credits: karlyukav / Freepik (not the actual photo)
However, after a rough childhood full of caring for others, the poster just wanted to live her life, and didn't want anyone's burden
Image credits: Freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
She spoke to her family about this, and her kind father agreed to be the caretaker if her sister accepted her condition and got treated
Image credits: Drazen Zigic / Freepik (not the actual photo)
The poster was worried about her dad, who always went overboard for his daughters, as she felt her sister might take advantage of him
Image credits: boardingyard
However, they agreed to stick to this solution for the time being and decided to see how things would go with her sister
Today, we dive into the original poster’s (OP) life as she vents about the conundrum she was caught in. She grew up with her violent mom, and all her life took care of other people, until she finally broke free. Just when she felt she had found happiness with her partner, life threw another challenge at her: one of her elder sisters (Mandy).
Mandy moved to Europe after her marriage and drifted apart from the rest of the family. However, after her divorce, she was diagnosed with schizophrenia. Sadly, she refused to accept it and didn’t even take meds. Everyone kept telling her to come home, and one day she agreed. The challenge was that bringing her back would be expensive, and nobody was willing to take her in.
In fact, everyone expected OP to step up and be Mandy’s caretaker as she had space in her house. However, after everything that she had been through, our lady didn’t really want the burden, but also felt guilty about it. Fortunately, she gave an update that she discussed it with her family, and her dad caved and said he would be Mandy’s caretaker, but set a condition.
She had to accept her diagnosis, stay in a medical facility, and get treated. This broke the poster’s heart because her father was extremely kind. She feared that Mandy would take advantage of him. Well, that was the only solution that seemed possible for everyone, so they agreed on it, but the poster just couldn’t stop being concerned about her dad.
Image credits: Freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
Netizens expressed sympathy for OP’s rough childhood and suffering because of her mom. Experts emphasize that children raised in emotionally and physically violent environments often face challenges such as low self-confidence, anxiety, depression, and trust issues. The emotional scars can linger into adulthood, affecting relationships, decision-making, and overall mental health.
Moreover, she had also been forced to look after someone all her life, which must have been a whole different challenge in itself. Besides, caring for someone with such a severe mental disorder is no joke. Research elaborates that depression, anxiety, fatigue, burnout, and other mental health issues are common among guardians of people with mental illness.
In fact, the Family Caregiver Alliance calls this depression “one of today’s all-too silent health crises,” estimating that at least 20% of family caregivers suffer from this disorder. Also, women carers experience this mental health struggle at a higher rate than men. No wonder our poster didn’t want to step up for this role, despite how much she loved her sister.
Some netizens pointed out that even her father was quite old and not fit to look after Mandy. While the family could occasionally visit her, people insisted that they should leave matters to the professionals. That does make sense, as it would be better for OP’s sister, right? What would you do in her shoes? We would love to hear your thoughts, so drop them in the comments below!
Netizens reassured the poster that she didn't have to be a caretaker for anyone and had every right to her freedom
