We all (okay, almost all of us) had moments in our youth when we were frivolous and just wanted to have some fun. However, for most people, this passes with age and only the memory of the 'wild' past remains. And these are not always the memories that you want to share with your partner.
The user u/Scary_Thing_8935, the author of today’s story, was so sure that her older sister had long ago told her fiance about all the parties of her ‘wild’ youth that she didn’t hesitate to mention it during a family gathering. But, as it turned out, her sister would like the past to remain in the past...
More info: Reddit
The author of the post has two older sisters who liked partying heavily in their youth
Image credits: Craig Adderley (not the actual photo)
Nowadays both of them are happily married and settled down - but the younger sister remembers their stories and conversations well
Image credits: u/Scary_Thing_8935
Image credits: Karolina Kaboompics (not the actual photo)
Before the older sister's wedding the author blabbed about her 'wild' past to the fiance - and it turned out that he had no clue about all this
Image credits: u/Scary_Thing_8935
Image credits: freepik (not the actual photo)
So both sisters called out the author for spilling the beans and 'ruining' both the wedding and honeymoon
Image credits: u/Scary_Thing_8935
However, it turned out that the fiance was just worried about his new wife's sadness and didn't want to intervene, so everything ended quite happily
Now meet the Original Poster (OP), a 20-year-old woman who has two older sisters: 30-year-old "Emily" and 27-year-old "Mary." Both sisters are married, and the older one just tied the knot recently. And it was her wedding and honeymoon that our heroine, as it turns out, almost ruined with her careless words.
The thing is that both of the OP's older sisters were rather frivolous in their youth in everything that concerned parties, dating and whatnot - and the younger sister unwittingly found herself a witness to their conversations and stories. However, over time, both women settled down, and now both are happy in their family life.
And yet, when on the eve of Emily's wedding, they were sitting in a family circle and chatting with "Danny," her fiance, he asked how it happened that the future SIL had never dated, drank or partied. And our heroine, being completely sure that Emily had told her boyfriend about her ‘wild’ past, answered that after the stories of her sisters, she never really wanted to or felt the need to.
Then followed what is called a "silent scene" in the theater. Well, and then, a few weeks later, the older sisters called out the OP for spilling the beans over Emily's past and 'ruining' both her wedding and honeymoon.
It turned out that the newlyweds' relationship had been quite strained throughout the wedding ceremony and during the honeymoon too. And Emily assumed that her younger sister's revelations had influenced her spouse. However, in the midst of the quarrel, the women's mom intervened and sided with the OP, claiming that she had done nothing wrong here.
And yet, common sense prevailed. And, as it often happens, it was quite enough for the spouses to just talk about it. It turned out that Danny was not outraged by his wife's ‘unbridled’ past, but was simply worried that she was upset. And she, in turn, attributed the husband's thoughtfulness to herself. The moral of this story is quite simple - sometimes in a relationship it’s enough to just talk, without limiting yourself to senseless guesses.
Image credits: Kindel Media (not the actual photo)
Relationship experts say it's up to each person to tell their partner about their past relationships or hobbies. But, as experts also point out, if the new person in your life is aware of your past, it will, firstly, increase the level of trust between the two of you.
And secondly, knowledge about your past will give you both a chance to avoid some of the mistakes you made earlier. "Telling them about it is what gives them an idea of who you are, what was missing in your past relationship, and what baggage you’re carrying from it," this dedicated article on Marriage.com reasonably claims.
Of course, some people are prone to retroactive jealousy, but in general, being open with your partner about your past means trust. "Let your partner know what you’ve been through in the past. Let them know about the good and the bad of your previous relationships,” this post on Thought.is urges. “Let them know where your quirks are, and what parts of love you really excel at. Let them know it all, and you will feel loved, secure, and together."
And what do the commenters on the original post think about this all? Of course, all the responders are sure that our heroine did nothing wrong. “Given how many people witnessed their party days, I am not sure why they assumed no one would ever mention it and accidentally expose the lie,” one of the people wrote in the comments.
And some people find it quite weird that two people in their 30s can be upset at all when they find out that another of them, it turns out, drank and partied many years ago. "A 34-year-old is upset a 30-year-old used to drink? Are you all in a cult?” another commenter was being ironic. "Anyway this isn't your fault." And do you, our dear readers, also share the nitty-gritty of your past with your significant others?
People in the comments unanimously supported the author, stating that she actually did nothing wrong here
