Roommates—just like landlords—can make your life either a fantastic adventure full of camaraderie or the type of hell that’s normally reserved for the most egregious sinners. The odds are that you’ve lived with at least one person who kept getting on your nerves. But very few of you have probably faced someone as bad as redditor u/ThisIsMyCircus40 had to live with.
The woman went into great detail about the roommate from hell she lived with, ‘Amy,’ and the extent to which she made her everyday life miserable. We’re talking about someone who stopped paying rent, wouldn’t do any chores, stole from the OP, and even threw her cat out! Read on for the full story, as shared on the r/pettyrevenge subreddit.
Bored Panda reached out to the author of the post, redditor u/ThisIsMyCircus40, and she was kind enough to tell us more about what happened with her roommate. According to her, she previously assumed that Amy was just a jerk. "But now—with 15 additional years of life experience—I have a much different perspective about the matter. I agree with all the commenters who said mental illness," she told us. You'll find our full interview with the OP as you read on.
Living with someone else can cause friction, especially if they're unreasonable
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One woman went into detail about her former roommate who had made her life a living hell
The roommate began acting incredibly strangely and all sense of boundaries went out the window
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The situation got worse and worse until it became completely unbearable
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The woman decided to force her roommate to leave by fighting fire with fire
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She ended up warning others about how horrible it was living with 'Amy'
Image credits: ThisIsMyCircus40
The many-month-long drama was horrible beyond belief
There’s no argument there—Amy is one of the most awful roommates that we’ve ever read about on the internet… and we’ve heard a lot about the depths to which some folks sink. It’s amazing that redditor u/ThisIsMyCircus40 managed to stomach the other woman’s behavior for such a long time.
The straw that broke the camel’s back was when the roommate stole the OP’s expensive camera. The Reddit user decided that enough was enough: she started meticulously making Amy’s life a living hell to force her to move out, seeing as the alternatives wouldn’t work.
“I started by changing the wifi password and the computer password. The following week I had my cable company come and remove the cable lines to her room. I bought a small fridge for my room and a cabinet and put all my food and personal supplies in my bedroom and put a secure lock on my door,” the OP shared. However, that was just the tip of the iceberg. “Overflowing bathroom trash cans filled to the brim with her panty liners were dumped on her bed. I removed the knobs to the washer and the dryer.”
What’s more, the OP returned the computer that Amy had stolen from her old job and never bothered to give it back. Eventually, the roommate from hell left (or perhaps crawled back into the abyss from whence she spawned), but it took the redditor a week to even notice she was gone. Her room was an absolute mess.
And the OP sent photos of what the place looked like to some of the people Amy moved in with later on. Luckily, the OP’s cat came back after it got thrown out. The redditor also got her camera back.
"Advocating for yourself is a life skill you need to learn, not an instinct that comes naturally"
Image credits: Liza Summer (not the actual photo)
Bored Panda was interested in getting the OP's thoughts on why she thinks her former roommate didn't ask for help if she thought she needed it. According to the redditor, Amy probably didn't know how or who to ask.
"Advocating for yourself is a life skill you need to learn, not an instinct that comes naturally. I don't know what version of her life story is true, but when I listened to her version and piece it together with the version her sister told me, it all sounds very traumatic. She definitely had no support system. Her family had gone low contact with her and her children were inaccessible. The only people she had in her life were people from work," u/ThisIsMyCircus40 explained.
The woman told us that she reacted with "sheer panic" when she realized that her cat was gone. "When I got home from work and saw her breakfast was uneaten, I spent 2 hours searching every crevice of my house. She was a small cat and she liked to hide, but it wasn't like her to miss a meal. Once I realized she was truly missing, I called my mom and cried. The cat was 6 yrs old and I had her since she was about 10 weeks old. She had a few health scares and a few expensive surgeries... I had a lot of time, money, and love invested in her. She was my best friend."
According to the author of the post, there are 4 broad options available to you if you're struggling with a roommate: "Deal with it (gross), figure out a way to make them cooperate with you (probably not going to ever happen), legal eviction (takes forever), or try to force them out with extreme measures. The best thing to do is PREVENT this from happening by really screening the people you consider as potential roommates. Personally, I would never have a roommate again. I would rather work 4 jobs and live alone."
"I think she rapidly fell into a steep depression"
Image credits: Liza Summer (not the actual photo)
Redditor u/ThisIsMyCircus40 told Bored Panda that a common question that many folks have is what happened to her roommate. "Amy resumed her couch surfing ways. That's how she ended up being my roommate in the first place. It was originally supposed to be only for a few weeks while I moved out of my house into a new apartment. The new apartment had an extra bedroom and I thought since she was already on my couch..." the OP told us.
"I think about 6 or 7 years ago she was in a relationship with a trucker and they landed a few states away. Her Facebook says they broke up a few months ago. She changes jobs every few months since she left our state, so I don't think her life has changed much."
The author told us that there was more to be said about the entire affair with the laptop that Amy had taken from work and the OP later returned. That was the biggest trigger that finally got her to leave. "The woman she took the computer from, Maggie, was also a coworker. We all worked for everyone's not-so-favorite big-box retail store. Maggie and Amy worked in the same department. When Amy kept putting off returning the laptop, Maggie confronted her about it at work and Amy slapped her across the face," u/ThisIsMyCircus40 told Bored Panda.
"That's when Amy got fired and stopped paying bills. I think she rapidly fell into a steep depression. A few months prior she spent a few weeks in jail for not paying her child support, and I think she felt that looming in front of her again. For a while, she was seeing a counselor and getting meds, but during the initial period when we had a nice apartment and we got along, she stopped going. It's a familiar trap for anyone with mental illness," the redditor opened up to us that she has done it herself.
"Our lives are going great and we feel great so we think we don't need the meds. We stop taking them, and we slowly slip back into depression until we realize we feel great BECAUSE of the meds and we need to keep taking them."
Solving problems with your roommates starts off with clear communication and looking for compromises
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Though it’s entirely valid to fight fire with fire and get revenge against awful human beings, you should only go for that when you’ve exhausted all the other alternatives. Namely, broaching the subject in person, getting someone to mediate for you, and then appealing to the authorities for support.
Good communication can be a godsend if the troublesome roomie is at least a tiny bit reasonable. They might not actually be aware that they’re causing any real problems with their behavior. If they’re constantly leaving the kitchen in chaos, refusing to do their part of the chores, and playing loud music into the wee hours of the morning, start by talking to them!
Sit them down for a friendly chat. Explain the situation and hone in on the issue. Explain how it affects you and makes you feel. Be very clear, stay firm, but be diplomatic. Nobody enjoys being accused of something (even if it is their fault). And your end goal is to find some sort of compromise, not to prove how very right you are.
If your roommate is reasonable, they’ll hear you out and adjust their behavior accordingly. You may need to remind them a few times while they’re still developing these new habits though.
However, if they stick to their old ways and refuse to budge, you may need to make the issue more public. For example, you could organize a meeting between all the other roommates living in the house. Or you could get the dormitory or floor manager involved if you’re living on a college campus. Having someone with authority mediate the process can help enforce basic rules and remind everyone that it’s common sense to clean up after yourself.
Even if you're totally in the right, it helps if the other party doesn't feel overtly attacked for their behavior
In some rare cases, even that won’t help. You may need to get in touch with the authorities if the problems persist. If someone’s playing loud music every single night and you can’t get a wink of sleep, the police might help you out. Similarly, if there’s a serious hygiene issue in the building, you might either need the help of a mental health professional or someone from the local council to step in and advise you on how to proceed.
CNBC suggests drawing up a ‘roommate contract’ when you move in with someone. It’s a good idea to get everyone on the same page when it comes to house rules, shared space, and household chores. You can always change the details of the (unofficial) document later, but the main point is to avoid at least some arguments in the future by having the basic stuff in writing.
Also, keep in mind that no roommate is ever going to be ‘perfect.’ Even the kindest, cleanest, most disciplined people will get on your nerves from time to time. A bit of chaos is inevitable when you live with someone or near someone, so try to embrace that. Ignore the minor issues, but bring up the bigger ones when they get out of hand.
Kat Cohen, CEO and Founder of college guidance company IvyWise, told CNBC that avoiding criticism is key when looking for a compromise. “Frame this as a discussion of living policies and how to be a better roommate, and avoid criticizing your roommate’s current behaviors. Ask him or her if there is anything he or she would like to change about your living arrangement in order to make the conversation feel more like a discussion, as opposed to a personal attack or complaint.”
The author of the post shared more information in the comments of her post
