One of the hallmarks of a healthy long-term relationship is that you fundamentally respect your partner. A core part of this is seeing your significant other as your equal. However, even in this day and age, some guys believe that their spouses should practically be live-in servants.
Internet user u/yftdddtf went viral after asking the AITAH online community whether she was wrong to call out her friend’s boyfriend. The man had gone on a massive rant about how women no longer wanted to be ‘trad wives.’ Having had enough, the woman told him off, noting that he’s not exactly a ‘trad husband’ either, which made him very upset. You’ll find the full story, including the internet’s comments, below.
Respecting your significant other and seeing them as your equal sounds like the most obvious thing to do. But unfortunately, some men don't see things this way
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A woman shared how she called out her friend's boyfriend after he ranted about 'traditional wives.' He was incredibly upset when this happened
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Later, the author shared a quick update about the fallout
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Image credits: yftdddtf
Men who embrace toxic masculinity tend to take things to the extreme and reject behaviors that they see as too feminine
As Verywell Mind explains, toxic masculinity is a collection of “offensive, harmful beliefs, tendencies, and behaviors rooted in traditional male roles but taken to an extreme.” It refers to an over-the-top focus on aggression and domination, which, in turn, can have serious social consequences and harm everyone’s mental health.
Some of the main ideas that define toxic masculinity include anti-femininity, toughness, and power. These men are ‘expected’ to be not only physically strong and emotionally callous, but also to behave aggressively.
They are also encouraged to reject traditionally feminine behaviors. For example, they are discouraged from showing emotion or accepting help. What’s more, they are encouraged to pursue power and status, for the sake of being respected by others.
Toxic masculinity also tends to glorify unhealthy habits. For instance, self-care is demeaned, and poor diet, heavy drinking, and tobacco use are encouraged.
What’s more, these men are discouraged from seeing doctors and mental health specialists because that would be perceived as ‘weakness.’
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Toxic masculinity encourages men to control their partners, avoid household chores, and behave aggressively, among other things
Meanwhile, WebMD adds that toxic masculinity also revolves around the need for control, encouraging men to “assert their power and dominance.”
This can often be seen in domestic relationships. According to one report, around a third (34%) of American men believed that they should always have the final say in their relationship. Furthermore, 46% of US men said that they deserved to know where their girlfriends or wives were at all times.
On top of that, toxic masculinity also promotes promiscuity, refusing to help with household duties, and violence.
“Toxic masculinity rejects roles traditionally considered ‘women’s work.’ Toxically masculine men often refuse to participate in these household duties,” WebMD notes.
Based on a study by ‘The Man Box,’ 22% of American men believed they shouldn’t have to do household chores. Meanwhile, 44% of respondents said they should be the sole income earners. And 28% of US men said they believed that boys shouldn’t be taught to do things like cook, clean, and take care of children.
At the time of writing, the woman’s post got 17k upvotes and 2k comments. She noted that because she called out her friend’s boyfriend for his rant, her friendship was effectively over. We’ve reached out to the author for comment, and we’ll update the article as soon as we hear back from her.
If you have a spare moment, we’d like to hear your perspectives in the comments down below, Pandas. How would you have reacted to such a toxic rant? What would you think if your friend decided to defend their partner even after they expressed such bizarre and hypocritical opinions? Realistically, what do you think it would take for a man like this to accept that he might be wrong and embrace a more egalitarian point of view? Let us know what you think.
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As the story started going viral, many internet users wanted to share their perspectives
