Deep-seated insecurities can be powerful enough to make a person forget about basic logic. In turn, they do nonsensical things that may profoundly affect their relationships in the worst way possible.
The woman in today’s story is a classic example. She let her self-doubt and seeming lack of faith in her boyfriend consume her so severely that she subjected him to a “test” to prove his loyalty. Unfortunately, it only blew up in her face.
As for her man, he is now seeking answers from the Reddit community, as he begins to question their relationship.
Insecurities can be detrimental to a romantic relationship
Image credits: galinkazhi (not the actual photo)
A woman allowed her doubts to consume her to the point where she subjected her boyfriend to a "loyalty test"
Image credits: drobotdean (not the actual photo)
Unfortunately, her actions backfired
Image credits: Tiny_Common1864
Female insecurity is a learned trait
The author’s situation isn’t uncommon. You likely know someone with the same insecure girlfriend and have experienced the same relationship struggles. That then begs the question, what drives these insecurities in women?
According to psychotherapist and relationship therapist Dr. Cynthia Pizzulli, it’s because this kind of self-doubt is a learned trait.
“The truth is that women are insecure because they’ve been taught to be,” Dr. Pizzulli wrote in an article for her website. “Society has made women believe this horrible myth that you can NEVER trust a man. And any woman who does is made to feel stupid and naïve.”
Dr. Pizzulli adds that what is often described as “crazy” behavior stems from fear of heartbreak and of being taken for a fool. Setting boundaries in the way that is expected of a person can also make the situation worse. In the story’s case, the author’s decision to distance himself did not solve the problem.
Handling insecurity in a relationship is a two-way street. For someone dealing with emotional instability, understanding their deeper needs and emotions is a good start. According to clinical psychologist Dr. Jill Weber, it’s one way to unblur communication lines.
“Identify within yourself and communicate to your partner what they could do to support you in this growth,” Dr. Weber wrote.
As for the partner, it would help to exert efforts to make their significant other feel as secure as possible, even if it means giving them constant assurances.
“Tell her that you get that she’s afraid of getting hurt. And tell her as often as she needs to hear it that you love her and are going to be with her for the long haul,” Dr. Pizzulli wrote.
Honesty is always the best policy in relationships. It may help the man to be completely transparent about how he felt with the DMs, while also affirming his loyalty. However, he must also reconsider the relationship, especially if another form of the “loyalty test” happens again.
Image credits: freepik (not the actual photo)
People in the comments had no shortage of reactions and advice, many of them urging a breakup
