Most of us would do anything for our families. If you need a ride home from the airport, a shoulder to cry on during a bad breakup or a place to stay while your home is being renovated, you should be able to rely on your relatives. But it’s important to remember not to take advantage of those who extend a hand.
One woman recently shared a post on Reddit detailing how she came to the difficult decision to kick her brother and his family out of her home. Below, you’ll find the full story, as well as a conversation with the OP and some of the replies invested readers have shared.
We should always be able to rely on family members when we’re in need of help
Image credits: Yan Krukau / Pexels (not the actual photo)
But when this woman realized her sister-in-law had been stealing from her, she decided that enough is enough
Image credits: Maksim Goncharenok / Pexels (not the actual photo)
Later, the woman added additional details for clarity
Image credits: Liza Summer / Pexels (not the actual photo)
She also provided updates after officially kicking the couple out
Image credits: Liza Summer / Pexels (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Throwawaythechicken9
Image credits: Karolina Grabowska / Pexels (not the actual photo)
"I have no idea what's going on with either of them at this point, and I'm stressed beyond belief about my nephew"
To learn more about this situation, we reached out to the Reddit user who shared this story online, Throwawaythechicken9. The OP was kind enough to have a chat with Bored Panda and shared that unfortunately, she's still not feeling at peace with her decision to kick out her brother's family. "I have no idea what's going on with either of them at this point, and I'm stressed beyond belief about my nephew," Throwawaythechicken9 said.
The OP also noted that her sister-in-law has never stolen from her in the past, so she guesses that "plain entitlement" is behind why she's started stealing now. Throwawaythechicken9 was also unsure when she'll see her brother's family next. "We usually see each other during major holidays, so maybe then," she shared.
We were also curious what the OP thought about the replies to her post. "While most of the posts made me feel comforted, the random hate to my wife at times put me off of Reddit for a while," she told Bored Panda. "Though largely the support and advice did make me feel better." And as far as updates on the situation, Throwawaythechicken9 shared, "I've heard from Jessica's mother a few times but nothing serious apart from her apologizing for her daughter has happened."
It can be difficult to explain to a loved one why they can’t stay with you
While many of us have complicated relationships with our families, we should, in theory, be able to rely on them whenever we need help. If you need a couch to crash on or somewhere to stay after experiencing a traumatic event, they should be available to offer help. But the understanding is that we only take what we need from our loved ones and try not to impose on them. Staying at Mom and Dad’s for a weekend might be fun, while extending that stay to 6 months might create a huge burden for them.
Telling a relative that they can’t stay with you can be a difficult and uncomfortable conversation, but there are plenty of valid reasons why the arrangement might not work. According to UpJourney, you should be polite and compassionate when explaining why someone cannot stay with you. You can explain that it would disrupt your partner, children or pets, or that sticking to your routine is crucial for your work.
Your landlord might not allow guests, or you may simply not have space. Having extra people around can also quickly increase grocery, water and electricity bills, and that might not be something you can afford at the moment. Explain where you’re coming from, and provide alternative options instead. Perhaps you know of an inexpensive hotel or Airbnb nearby, or there might be another relative who would be willing to take them in.
Image credits: Ketut Subiyanto / Pexels (not the actual photo)
It is possible to evict family members if necessary
Now, if you’ve already taken a relative in and you’ve realized that it’s time for them to leave, that might be an even more challenging conversation to have. Rocket Lawyer explains that you can technically evict a family member from your home, as they would be treated by the law as any other tenant or occupant who doesn’t own the property. It may be more difficult to evict them, however, if you never had a written agreement in the first place.
Navigating a situation where a family member has stolen from you isn’t any easier either. Attorney Douglas Wade at Nakase Wade notes that it’s wise to plan out the confrontation before approaching a relative who has stolen. Ask yourself what you want to accomplish from the conversation and what you expect to happen before addressing the theft. It's impossible to know exactly how they will react.
It’s also important to be clear about the consequences your family member will have to face due to stealing from you. Do you want to contact the authorities? Cut off communication with the relative? Or do you simply want to be reimbursed or have the item(s) returned? And of course, work on preventing this from happening again in the future. If necessary, change locks and secure your belongings. And if the relationship is worth maintaining, work on rebuilding your trust in that person.
Image credits: Andrea Piacquadio / Pexels (not the actual photo)
Conflicts between in-laws are incredibly common
Having a tumultuous relationship with a mother-in-law is so common that it’s essentially become a trope. But apparently, plenty of people have issues with their other in-laws as well. In fact, The Knot reports that 42% of men and 46% of women admit that they’re not happy with the relationships they have with their in-laws. And while it’s not necessary to be best friends with them, it’s nice to be able to get along.
But if you’ve tried and tried many times to have a healthy relationship with your sister-in-law and it’s just not working, perhaps she’s the problem. PsychMechanics details that some of the trademark signs of a manipulative sister-in-law are someone who invades your privacy, who’s passive aggressive, judges you negatively, drains your resources, controls your marriage, turns your spouse against you, treats you as an outsider and accuses you of manipulating your partner.
We would love to hear your thoughts on this situation in the comments below, pandas. Do you think this woman was right to kick out her brother’s family? Then, if you’re interested in reading another Bored Panda article discussing entitled parents, look no further than right here!
Readers called out the couple for their behavior and provided advice for the OP
