A woman has called out a Sydney hotel after a security guard told her to “cover up” if she wanted to have a few drinks with her friends at the bar.
Joey Hespe said the incident reflects the “double standards” in Australian society regarding the objectification of men and women based on their clothing.
The 39-year-old mother had been at a black-tie event before she decided to stop for a drink at the Pyrmont Bridge Hotel.
Highlights
- A Sydney mother has exposed a hotel security guard who told her to “cover up” before going to the bar.
- Joey Hespe said the request highlighted society’s double standards, noting that she saw a man at the hotel wearing a tank top.
- The hotel manager stated that the guard made the request “independently.”
“The security guard checked my ID, then looked me up and down and said, ‘You can go in, but you can’t take your jacket off’,” Joey told news.com.au.
Image credits: joey_writes_
“I asked him to repeat himself and he said my dress was ‘see-through’ and ‘against dress code.’”
The long, ruffled gown featured a V-neck and sheer, polka-dot fabric on the legs.
Joey said she “froze” when the security guard looked her up and down.
Image credits: joey_writes_
“My body was being scrutinized and s*xualized, while at the same time I was told to cover it up.
“It left me humiliated, confused, and angry – a mix of objectification and control that women know all too well.”
The mother said she was in a state of “shock” following the incident and that she noticed a man wearing a tank top inside the premises.
She had been attending a black-tie event and stopped at the hotel wearing a long, ruffled gown
Image credits: WOODS BAGOT
“It struck me how blatant the double standard was: women are told to cover up, while men are free to wear whatever they want,” Joey continued.
“Aside from the fact that my dress was not see-through, there were just a few sheer panels on the legs, that feeling of being simultaneously objectified and suppressed in the same moment was horrible.”
The woman concluded that the security man’s request carried a subliminal message: that she needed to cover up so that men at the hotel bar could “control themselves.”
Image credits: joey_writes_
Andrew McDonald, General Manager at the Pyrmont Bridge Hotel, told news.com.au that the security guard’s decision “is not supported by management or hotel policy.”
“On entry the patron was asked by a guard to keep her jacket on, to cover the transparent strips in her dress,” the manager said.
The 39-year-old said the incident highlighted double standards regarding how men and women are objectified based on clothing
“The decision by the security officer to request that the patron keep her jacket on was made independently.
“We have a relaxed approach to dress code and welcome everyone from tradies to brides and grooms on a weekly basis. His direction is not supported by management or hotel policy.”
Image credits: Pyrmont Bridge Hotel
The manager stated that the incident was “unexpected and out of character for our contracted security team and does not represent the values of the Hotel or our commitment to inclusiveness, equality, and respect for personal expression.”
The hotel clarified that “at no point did the security officer” make “derogatory remarks” about Joey’s outfit.
Still, McDonald noted that management will ensure the hotel’s standards are “consistently upheld” following the incident.
Joey said the guard’s request implied women must cover up so men could “control themselves"
Image credits: Stanislav Ivanitskiy/Unsplash
Meanwhile, Joey believes what happened to her isn’t an isolated case.
“This is bigger than me – it’s about how women are still told in 2025, that it’s our responsibility to control how men react to us,” she said. “That message is toxic and outdated.”
According to Stand Up International, a program designed to help prevent street harassment, 78% of Australian women have experienced s*xual harassment in public spaces.
Image credits: joey_writes_
The most common type of harassment is inappropriate and unwanted s*xual looks, gestures, staring or leering that makes women feel uncomfortable.
It’s followed by suggestive or intrusive comments or jokes about their appearance, clothing, anatomy, or looks, and somebody repeatedly whistling at them or catcalling.
Image credits: joey_writes_
Sherele Moody, a media advocate for families impacted by femicide in Australia, condemned the security guard’s treatment of Joey in a social media post.
“Excuse me, @pyrmontbridgehotel, but what part of @joey_writes_ dress is inappropriate? No really. What part?” she wrote. “Is it too long, too black, too froo-froo – or is that (shock-horror) a little bit of skin can be seen?”
The expert added: “Women deserve to enjoy their nights out – or in – without being sl*t-shamed. What we wear is no one else’s business.
“Surely, in 2025, we have got past policing what women wear.”
People supported Joey after she spoke up against the security guard's "disgusting behavior"
