Without healthy boundaries, you might soon find yourself taken advantage of. The reality is that nobody wants to be someone’s unpaid babysitter all of the time. Lending a helping hand from time to time is one thing. But we’re all far too busy to be full-time nannies. However, some folks still think they’re entitled to your time.
Redditor u/HokeyPokeyGuestList went viral after sharing how she got petty revenge against her ‘annoying cousin,’ who had tricked her into looking after her kids after faking a family emergency. Scroll down for the wickedly righteous story. Bored Panda has reached out to the author via Reddit, and we’ll update the article as soon as we hear back from her.
Unfortunately, some of your relatives might be so entitled that they'll try to dump their kids on you by any means
Image credits: AnnaStills / envatoelements (not the actual photo)
One woman shared how she got back at her cousin who had lied about a family emergency to force her to watch her children
Image credits: hwilson8 / envatoelements (not the actual photo)
Image credits: voerot / reddit (not the actual photo)
Image credits: HokeyPokeyGuestList
Unless you enforce your boundaries with care, you might turn into your family's go-to babysitter
Image credits: Ketut Subiyanto / pexels (not the actual photo)
Boundaries are hard enough to enforce as it is. But some people find it even harder to stick to them when it comes to their relatives. They’re family, after all. Telling them ‘no’ feels ‘wrong’ on some level.
However, there’s nothing wrong with saying ‘no.’ Without that little word, you might find yourself prioritizing everyone else’s needs over yours. And that can lead to exhaustion, burnout, resentment, frustration, and lots of grumbling at the family Christmas dinner.
You shouldn’t feel like you’re pressured into being charitable with your time and energy. Real generosity comes without strings attached. Sure, you might help your family or friends out if you don’t mind babysitting and there’s a real need for it. But you should not feel guilty about living your best life without moonlighting as an unpaid sitter.
This issue is more widespread than you might think. Bored Panda previously spoke with another redditor, u/ThrowAwayUncle44, who had become his family’s go-to babysitter whenever they needed help. His boundaries were constantly ignored until he finally put his own wants and needs first.
He had some spot-on advice to share for anyone who’s struggling with babysitting boundaries with their loved ones. “What I can say without a doubt is try to recognize that you are being manipulated and put your foot down as soon as possible,” he told us earlier.
“The longer you keep giving in, the more they will make you believe that doing favors for them is an obligation, and you’ll hesitate setting boundaries because of guilt.”
The clearer you are about your wants and needs, the fewer 'misunderstandings' there will be
Enforcing your boundaries starts with a simple conversation. If you’re not a fan of how you’re constantly taken advantage of and feel like nobody respects your time, you need to explain to that person how their demands make you feel. Then, ask them not to do one thing and instead do something else in the future.
When there’s clarity, there’s not much room for loopholes and [cough] ‘misunderstandings’ [cough]. Now, if someone were to ignore your boundaries again, you can actively reduce the time you spend with them.
Though it’s frustrating when someone doesn’t consider the people around them, there’s no real need to get angry at them. Your real victory lies in living your best life. Anger is a healthy response to injustice, sure, but living with chronic anger is going to wreck your physical and mental health.
In other words, holding grudges won’t do you any favors. Hilarious petty revenge, on the other hand, makes for a fantastic story to tell your kids in the future.
There are plenty of alternatives to asking your nearest and dearest to look after your children
Image credits: astreltsova / envatoelements (not the actual photo)
Of course, it’s convenient to ask your family, friends, and coworkers to look after your kids, especially if they live nearby. For one, you don’t have to pay. On top of that, you know you’re leaving your children with someone you trust. Then there’s the cherry on top: it’s hard for many folks to tell you ‘no.’ They’ll feel guilty.
However, if you take advantage of your loved ones’ goodwill, you might soon find yourself socially isolated. Asking for help when it’s truly needed is fine. But nobody actually owes you free babysitting services.
To put it bluntly, don’t feel entitled to other people’s generosity. That said, it can be a tad difficult to determine how many favors are too many. It would really help everyone involved if they were more honest than overly polite. A simple ‘no’ said in a friendly but firm way is better than being frustrated while the person asking for the favor has no idea there’s even an issue with their request.
Luckily, nobody needs to rely on their relatives for help with childcare, even though it can be a blessing. You can always hire a babysitter if you have errands to run, simply want to get out of the house, or have an important event.
Alternatively, if you want some alone time to rest, socialize, focus on your hobbies, or do whatever else, you can always ask your partner to look after the kids for a few hours. Then, when they need some time to recharge, you can do the same for them.
During a recent interview with Bored Panda, dad u/Kitkatcrusher shared the importance of ‘give and take’ in relationships.
“I try taking the kids to the park during the weekends while the wife gets the morning to herself, or I put them to bed while she goes to see friends. She really helps with watching our girls, too, when I want to go do a quick 9-hole round, and I try booking an early tee time and try to be done by 9 am to help with the kids,” he said.
Have you ever been taken advantage of as a go-to babysitter, Pandas? How do you protect your boundaries when it comes to your relatives? What did you think of u/HokeyPokeyGuestList’s petty revenge against her cousin? Scroll down to the comments section to share your thoughts.
The internet absolutely loved the story. Meanwhile, the author herself engaged with a lot of her readers
Some folks shared similar tales of their own
