It doesn’t matter how many times parents claim that they love their children equally; actions will always speak louder than words. And sadly, many children and adults know how it feels to watch a sibling get special treatment.
This woman reached out to Reddit for advice after becoming fed up with how her mother had been favoring her brother. Below, you’ll find the full story that led to the author deciding to take a step back from her mother, as well as some of the replies invested readers shared.
This woman's mother has always made it clear that her brother is the golden child
Image credits: Ron Lach / Pexels (not the actual photo)
So she's finally beginning to wonder if it's even worth it to take care of her mom
Image credits: Jonathan Castañeda / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Ron Lach / Pexels (not the actual photo)
Image credits: KairoMontivern
Image credits: Ketut Subiyanto / Pexels (not the actual photo)
One third of Americans believe that their mother has a favorite child
If you’ve ever asked your parents who their favorite child was, you probably got a response along the lines of, “Oh, honey. I love you all equally!” But if you ask their children, they might beg to differ. According to a YouGov survey, one third of Americans believe that their mother has a favorite child, and 22% believe that their father has one too.
Amongst those who think that their parents have a favorite, a whopping 68% of adults believe that they are not the golden child of their family. And apparently, the idea of having a “Mama’s boy” might actually ring true for some families, as men are nearly twice as likely as women to believe that they are their mom’s favorite child.
We all know that it’s not great for parents to blatantly favor one child over another. But researchers believe that growing up in an environment like this might negatively impact a person for the rest of their life. The BBC notes that this may cause low self-esteem in children, childhood anxiety, depression, and behavioral problems.
One small study of eight homeless teenagers in Canada found that seven of them believed a sibling was favored over them while growing up. Meanwhile, they noted that they were considered to be the “problem child” compared to their golden sibling(s).
The effects that this kind of upbringing can have on a person’s mental health can last a lifetime. Another study found that depression scores are higher in adults who felt like their mother had a favorite while they were growing up. Meanwhile, this favoritism can affect not only how adults feel about their parents, but also how they view their siblings.
Image credits: Pixabay / Pexels (not the actual photo)
Knowing that they're not the favorite child can have a lifelong impact on a person
This can damage relationships between siblings and contribute to rivalries and tensions between brothers and sisters. Having a healthy relationship with our siblings is particularly important as we age, so it’s heartbreaking to know that parents can ruin these relationships before their kids even graduate from high school.
In this particular situation, the mother has made it clear that she doesn’t appreciate the effort that her daughter puts in as much as the effort that her son makes. So what’s the best way to handle blatant favoritism like this in your family? Well, AllWomensTalk recommends first telling your parents how you feel.
While it may seem extremely obvious to you, they might not even realize how much special treatment they’ve been giving to one of your siblings. Meanwhile, try to resist the urge to blame your sibling for your parents’ behavior. It’s not their fault, and it’s not worth damaging your relationship with them over.
If possible, try to get to the bottom of where this favoritism is stemming from. Does it come down to sexism? Or maybe it’s because your sibling was extremely ill as a child, and your parents never stopped worrying about them. See if you can understand where your parents are coming from.
Finally, AllWomensTalk notes that it’s important to know that it’s not your fault if your parents are showing favoritism. You didn’t do anything wrong, and you certainly shouldn’t beat yourself up over it.
We would love to hear your thoughts on this situation in the comments below, pandas. What would you do if you were in the author’s shoes? Feel free to weigh in. Then, you can find another Bored Panda article discussing similar family drama right here.
Readers sympathized with the author, and many weighed in with advice for her
Some even shared similar stories of their own
