The times they are a-changin', and relationships are just one of many fronts. Some couples nowadays are more open to the idea of polygamy than in the past. In fact, 33% of adults in America say that open marriages are acceptable. But that doesn't mean you can just ask a couple to open their relationship and expect them to agree.
This woman confessed to having feelings for her friend's husband. So, she decided to ask them to open their marriage. When they disagreed, she complained about them being too stuck up. Trying to decide how to proceed with the friendship, the married woman decided to consult with the Internet.
Relationships can be fragile when you're an adult, more so when a friend confesses they have feelings for your spouse
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This woman asked her friend and her husband to open their marriage but didn't get the reaction she hoped for
Image credits: Mikhail Nilov / pexels (not the actual photo)
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Breaking up with friends can be difficult, even more so for women
Image credits: Engin Akyurt / pexels (not the actual photo)
When we think of breaking up, we tend to think of romantic relationships. Yet breaking up with your friends is also a thing. In fact, people end friendships all the time. Two-thirds of Americans revealed in a survey that they've broken up with a friend at least once.
For women, it may be more difficult. Author of Connecting: The Enduring Power of Female Friendship Sandy Sheehy says that women might be more likely to get stuck in draining friendships. "Women seem to be both hardwired and socialized to be nurturing," she told Oprah Magazine.
When deciding whether or not it's time to end a friendship, experts advise trusting your gut. Relationship Expert Sam Owen told Cosmopolitan that your feelings should inform whether you want to fix the relationship or say goodbye to it forever. Owens suggests asking yourself: "Does (thinking about) spending time with them make you feel good or bad, relaxed or tense?"
In some cases, friendships might cool off on their own. Neither party needs to actively do anything then. "We live in an emotionally avoidant society where people like to push their feelings down, which is why some people find it easier to ghost," Cognitive Behavioural Psychotherapist Navit Schechter explained.
In the end, all friendships are different. Some, like in this story, might be pretty toxic, so they're as difficult to end. Other people might find it harder to cut off friends who have been there since childhood. Just like Sam Owens suggested, trusting your gut might be the way to go in such a situation.
Pressuring someone into an open relationship is never a good idea
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A situation like this is a curious one. Usually, the two people who are in the relationship decide whether or not they want to open the relationship. A situation where another person asks to become a third partner in a marriage happens less often. Usually, one partner may be pressuring the other to try out an open marriage.
A AASECT-certified sex therapist, Martha Kauppi, claims that one partner in a couple is often more enthusiastic about the idea. "Often the idea of a non-monogamous relationship brings up fear, insecurity, and jealousy."
"Those feelings are perfectly understandable, and it's imperative that the reluctant partner is able to fully express and explore them, and that the enthusiastic partner is able to listen empathetically and hold steady as they hear about their partner's fears."
One of the main conditions for an open relationship is honesty, Psychologist Caitlin Killoren writes for Relish. Open communication about boundaries (what the partners are willing and not willing to do) is the foundation of a successful open marriage.
When the partners make it clear they're not interested in having an open relationship, that should be the end of the discussion. Relationship expert Page Turner says: "It's a bad sign when one person pressures the other person to open up. Particularly after their partner says no once, twice, or a thousand times when asked."
People had mixed reactions: although the majority supported the wife, some pointed out the women needed to ask what the husband wants
