People with eczema have to steer clear of anything that might cause a flare-up. To do so, first, they need to learn what causes it and then figure out a way to avoid it. And yet, even if you're doing your best yourself, it doesn't mean that people in your life will want to adhere to these rules.
Like in this story, where the woman's eczema worsens due to soft water, so at her home, she has the softener turned off. Then, one day her husband turned it on to see if the flare-up was "in her head," which led her to develop trust issues that started slowly ruining her marriage.
More info: Reddit
Sometimes even the people you love the most can deliberately do something to hurt you
Image credits: Freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
A woman's eczema always gets worse when she showers with soft water, so she turned the softener at her home off
Image credits: jcomp / Freepik (not the actual photo)
One day, she noticed it was turned back on, which was her husband's doing – he wanted to test her to see if the flare-ups were only "in her head"
Image credits: Drazen Zigic / Freepik (not the actual photo)
She asked him to never do it again, but then 6 months later it was turned back on, even though the husband denied doing it
Image credits: 123wollywolly
Still, her gut told her it was most likely him, so she asked online whether people there thought this relationship situation was as bad as it seemed
For about 10 years, the OP has been among the 1 out of 10 people who struggle with eczema – a skin condition that causes dry and itchy patches on the skin.
During these years she had several flare-ups, ranging from mild to moderately severe ones, which can be caused by skin irritation, stress, or dry skin. Luckily, she managed to get her condition under control. Part of this solution was figuring out that soft water causes her flare-ups.
Interestingly, one piece of research found contrary results – that soft water can help with eczema. At the same time, as the original poster herself said, her skin reacts differently than others. A person in the comments seconded this, saying that the salts in soft water also make their psoriatic arthritis worse.
So, she had the water softener turned off. Then, around 6 months ago she started noticing her skin flaring up again. Apparently, her husband had turned the water softener back on. His reasoning for doing that was that he liked soft water better and wanted to check if maybe her skin flare-ups were only “in her head.”
This infuriated the woman. It was definitely not only in her head – her skin had visible flare-ups to prove it. She asked her husband not to ever turn on the water softener again, which he agreed to.
Then, around 6 months later, she was showering when she felt the soapy feeling that comes with soft water. The reason why this feeling occurs is because softeners exchange calcium and magnesium minerals with sodium and salt ions, which changes the water’s texture.
Again, the OP’s water softener was turned on, but this time the husband denied doing it. The only other person besides her husband who could have turned it on was his dad, who loves to meddle and has a history of doing similar things.
Still, her gut told her it was her husband, which is a terrifying thought. Why would her husband, who knows that her flare-ups cause her pain and discomfort, do it?
Image credits: Freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
Ever since, she unplugged the softening machine and put up a note asking anyone nearby to not plug it back in, explaining that it causes her physical discomfort.
She told her husband if he turned on the machine ever again, she would be filing for divorce, as he was deliberately putting her health at risk. After all, severe eczema flare-ups can lead to relentless itching, extreme skin inflammation, bleeding, and even infection.
Besides doing all of this, the woman also asked Redditors just how red they’d consider this flag of her husband’s to be. In fact, she even checked whether they would consider this to be emotional or physical abuse, even though there is no history of that.
Well, people on the platform thought the flag was very red. For some, it was so red that they said that considering divorce or at least therapy should be on the table – testing someone’s health is borderline criminal.
Yes, there is still a chance that it wasn’t him who turned on the softener the second time around, so some peeps suggested that the woman should either put a camera next to the machine or simply cut its cord.
Well, if he really did turn on the machine the second time and didn’t confess, that’s full-on jerk behavior, which needs to be addressed. Only the question is how to prove whether he actually did it.
Either way, the relationship clearly has some trust issues that also need to be addressed if they want to go on. Maybe, as someone in the comments suggested, therapy is the way to go here. After all, exploring yourself and your relationship in therapy can always be beneficial.
In their eyes, it was a terrible situation and they advised her to consider couples therapy or even divorce
