Globally, women are more likely to experience violence, stalking and online harassment. Studies have shown that women’s pain is less likely to be taken seriously in medical settings. Women still carry an unequal share of unpaid domestic labor.
These aren’t isolated stories. They’re patterns.
That doesn’t mean that men don’t face their own struggles. But gender-based inequality is real, and it shapes women’s daily decisions in ways that often go unnoticed.
A Reddit user recently asked people to share things that women have to deal with on a daily basis that men have no clue about.
Some women shared stories of being dismissed by doctors when describing chronic conditions, other women talked about how they have to constantly stay on alert while stepping outside the house.
Check out the list if you want a glimpse into a world many men rarely think about.
#1
My husband loves being outdoors. If he could he'd spend his whole life up a mountain. One day he and his walking partner met two women on a walk in to a climb. They were obviously planning to camp while husband and his friend were just out for the day and they got chatting about what the various plans were and what they each hoped to cover.
As they got ready to go their separate ways one of the men asked the women where they were planning to camp and what the route for the rest of the day was. The women clammed up and were uncomfortable sharing that information.
My husband came home very confused and a bit offended after having such a nice conversation that these women suddenly changed and became seemingly rude.
I told him that I wouldn't have told an unknown man where I plan to sleep either and it was ridiculous of him and his partner to expect the women to give up that information. Lessons were learned that day.
As they got ready to go their separate ways one of the men asked the women where they were planning to camp and what the route for the rest of the day was. The women clammed up and were uncomfortable sharing that information.
My husband came home very confused and a bit offended after having such a nice conversation that these women suddenly changed and became seemingly rude.
I told him that I wouldn't have told an unknown man where I plan to sleep either and it was ridiculous of him and his partner to expect the women to give up that information. Lessons were learned that day.
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120points
#2
Being LOOKED AT. From a young age as a girl you are being observed, watched, judged, approached, etc. It would be so nice to just be a body once in a while. To move through the world unnoticed.
I hear men complain about that sometimes, how the world isn´t nice to them or how they don´t receive compliments, but I would trade the compliments for the calm of just not being observed.
The hikes and treks I dream of, the late night walks, the bus rides full of men that would just become simple bus rides, it would all be so peaceful. To walk out of the door and not have to think about safety. The way men scan your body up and down (yes we notice) always puts me on high alert.
Dave Chapelle put it best once: he described the experience of having a load of cash with you on a NYC subway, knowing certain people would end you if they knew you had that cash. That is how it feels to be a woman, only the cash is your body and you can never leave it at home.
I hear men complain about that sometimes, how the world isn´t nice to them or how they don´t receive compliments, but I would trade the compliments for the calm of just not being observed.
The hikes and treks I dream of, the late night walks, the bus rides full of men that would just become simple bus rides, it would all be so peaceful. To walk out of the door and not have to think about safety. The way men scan your body up and down (yes we notice) always puts me on high alert.
Dave Chapelle put it best once: he described the experience of having a load of cash with you on a NYC subway, knowing certain people would end you if they knew you had that cash. That is how it feels to be a woman, only the cash is your body and you can never leave it at home.
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87points
#3
Medical suffering that is brushed off as hysteria, even if you shove your diagnosis up their throat.
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79points
It’s doesn’t always start with something violent or dangerous.
Sometimes it’s noticing that your handbag has to be big enough to carry not just your wallet, phone, and keys, but also a spare phone charger, safety whistle, and maybe a whole period kit, while most men can just grab their slim wallet and phone and call it a day.
Or, it can be wearing uncomfortable heels to work in the middle of winter, watching your male colleagues stroll around in cozy socks while your feet are frozen and aching all day.
These everyday struggles are routine for most women, yet when they bring them up, the conversation is often ignored or steered away from.
#4
Feeling like you have to manage EVERYTHING. Male partner getting angry or anxious? You better calm him down. Getting low on milk? You need to remember to stop at the store on your way home from work. Kids have an event coming up? You have to make sure they have the right clothes, props, etc and also make sure the grandparents know when and where. A relative is sick or having a birthday? Make sure you send a card, even if it’s on your husband’s side of the family. Pee stains on the toilet rim? They’re apparently invisible or unimportant to your partner, so grab the Lysol. Dog needs shots? Kids need shots? Your job, and your job. Don’t get me started on “What’s for dinner?”
My husband actually does a lot around the house, but it’s always the one-and-done stuff, like fixing a door, or the chores he views as a hobby, like lawn care. Now that we’re both retired and I’m no longer in survival mode, I’ve started explaining to him that he’s not actually doing half the work, and we’re figuring out how to make it more fair. I wish we would’ve done this earlier, but honestly when you’re in the middle of it, it seems easier to just do it yourself than to take on the additional management project of fairly allocating the work.
My husband actually does a lot around the house, but it’s always the one-and-done stuff, like fixing a door, or the chores he views as a hobby, like lawn care. Now that we’re both retired and I’m no longer in survival mode, I’ve started explaining to him that he’s not actually doing half the work, and we’re figuring out how to make it more fair. I wish we would’ve done this earlier, but honestly when you’re in the middle of it, it seems easier to just do it yourself than to take on the additional management project of fairly allocating the work.
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75points
#5
Being constantly interrupted, dismissed, underestimated. You’re treated as less than and generally incapable as a default, and you have to prove you’re capable. I don’t see this happening to men.
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74points
#6
Men are afraid women will laugh at them, women are afraid men will end them.
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71points
Men often don’t personally experience these patterns, and this gap in experience creates a gap in understanding.
If you’ve never had to plan an evening around whether a parking spot is well-lit, or figure out how to politely reject someone without risking their wrath, it’s easy to feign ignorance.
Surveys back this up. In a recent study, 72% of American women said men don’t understand their struggles.
Most of the women in the study pointed out personal safety concerns.
#7
Medical gaslighting and neglect. Vast majority of issues are boiled down to weight, anxiety, stress or hormones. Anxiety is the new hysteria. If you have a severe period pain, irregular cycles, severe moodswings, youre told its normal. If you have endo or PCOS or any other issues with your reproductive organs, good luck getting taking seriously. The average time it takes for someone to get diagnosed with endometriosis is seven years. There's more studies on male baldness than there are on reproductive issues. If all else, they recommended the pill.
And don't even get me started on hormonal contraception. They work great with no issues for some women, sure, but informed consent is basically non existent. The list of risks and side effects that comes with is never ending. When i was a teen I went on the pill and was asked if I wanted the combined pill or mini pill, and I opted for mini pill because I'm forgetful and didn't want to bother going a week without every month. It made me feel crappy asf so I went off but some years later I wanted to go on again and try the combined pill and was asked if I frequently have migraines which I do. She told me I can't take it as it can cause blood clots in the brain?!?!? No one had warned me this the first time around. I'm lucky I didn't opt for the combined pill when I first went on it. There was a 19 year old here in the UK that recently died from this. There's so many risks to hormonal contraceptives and doctors dish them out like their sweets without telling girls and women the full risks.
Also, whenever you go to the doctors or hospital they ask if you could be pregnant. When you tell them you're definitely not they still make you do a test. I can understand why they do it but I find the way they go about it can be humiliating at times. I once told them I haven't done the deed in over a year and they STILL made me do a test but they didn't have any cups so they made me do it in one of those cardboard vomit bowls hospitals have, carry it back through the waiting room and leave it in the room I was in for over half an hour.
And on the topic of pregnancy, only recently have they discovered how much the male impacts the health of the mother. Like morning sickness and pre eclampsia is due to the health of the male impacting the foetus and mother. Yet it all gets put on the mother as if it's all entirely down to her.
Some time in the 90s did they make it a legal requirement for women to be a part of medical studies. Before then we weren't even considered, because "our hormones make us too complicated to study on". Toothpaste is also engineered towards men's health. Women have either a higher or lower pH balance in our saliva (can't remember which one sorry) so we're more likely to suffer gum and teeth issues as a result. Seat belts are mostly designed for men (may have changed in recent years) as the crash test dummies are based on male anatomy and don't take into account our chests or height. Women are more likely to die or have severe injuries as a result.
Theres probably so many more examples I could give, but I don't think men could ever understand how this world has not been built for us. It's all these inconsiderations in medicine and science that consistently hold us back a bit from the men or at it's worst end us.
Tldr - a fat rant about medical neglect and how medicine and scientific studies don't care about women.
And don't even get me started on hormonal contraception. They work great with no issues for some women, sure, but informed consent is basically non existent. The list of risks and side effects that comes with is never ending. When i was a teen I went on the pill and was asked if I wanted the combined pill or mini pill, and I opted for mini pill because I'm forgetful and didn't want to bother going a week without every month. It made me feel crappy asf so I went off but some years later I wanted to go on again and try the combined pill and was asked if I frequently have migraines which I do. She told me I can't take it as it can cause blood clots in the brain?!?!? No one had warned me this the first time around. I'm lucky I didn't opt for the combined pill when I first went on it. There was a 19 year old here in the UK that recently died from this. There's so many risks to hormonal contraceptives and doctors dish them out like their sweets without telling girls and women the full risks.
Also, whenever you go to the doctors or hospital they ask if you could be pregnant. When you tell them you're definitely not they still make you do a test. I can understand why they do it but I find the way they go about it can be humiliating at times. I once told them I haven't done the deed in over a year and they STILL made me do a test but they didn't have any cups so they made me do it in one of those cardboard vomit bowls hospitals have, carry it back through the waiting room and leave it in the room I was in for over half an hour.
And on the topic of pregnancy, only recently have they discovered how much the male impacts the health of the mother. Like morning sickness and pre eclampsia is due to the health of the male impacting the foetus and mother. Yet it all gets put on the mother as if it's all entirely down to her.
Some time in the 90s did they make it a legal requirement for women to be a part of medical studies. Before then we weren't even considered, because "our hormones make us too complicated to study on". Toothpaste is also engineered towards men's health. Women have either a higher or lower pH balance in our saliva (can't remember which one sorry) so we're more likely to suffer gum and teeth issues as a result. Seat belts are mostly designed for men (may have changed in recent years) as the crash test dummies are based on male anatomy and don't take into account our chests or height. Women are more likely to die or have severe injuries as a result.
Theres probably so many more examples I could give, but I don't think men could ever understand how this world has not been built for us. It's all these inconsiderations in medicine and science that consistently hold us back a bit from the men or at it's worst end us.
Tldr - a fat rant about medical neglect and how medicine and scientific studies don't care about women.
66points
#8
I had a boss who mentioned he liked to ask people curveball interview questions to see how they respond. One of the questions was, “what’s the first thing you do when you get in your car?” I said, “lock the doors.” He looked confused and asked why. I was taught that from a young age. And there have been 2 occasions when a stranger male has tugged at my locked car door. He was shocked. Must be nice!!!
65points
#9
Creepy old men commenting on your body and touching it from a very young age. I developed curves very quickly (around 13), and since then I haven’t known peace from men over 30 (I’m 19 now).
For example, a month ago I was in the middle of getting my driver’s license and had to drive with an instructor. I wore a lower-cut top that one time (I usually wore sweats) because I was going out with a friend afterward. Guess how many comments there were about my breasts? Five. This guy is 40, has a wife, and a son my age.
Recently, a man grabbed my thigh on a bus. Random men have grabbed me by the waist in stores to move me. A teacher touched my butt “by accident” at 14. These are just some examples, I could write a whole essay. Not that guys my age are any better, but the older men are worse.
For example, a month ago I was in the middle of getting my driver’s license and had to drive with an instructor. I wore a lower-cut top that one time (I usually wore sweats) because I was going out with a friend afterward. Guess how many comments there were about my breasts? Five. This guy is 40, has a wife, and a son my age.
Recently, a man grabbed my thigh on a bus. Random men have grabbed me by the waist in stores to move me. A teacher touched my butt “by accident” at 14. These are just some examples, I could write a whole essay. Not that guys my age are any better, but the older men are worse.
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61points
In a survey, 49% of women, compared with 67% of men, believe that women in the US are treated with respect and dignity.
This means that men are far more likely to think women are treated fairly, while many women experience the opposite.
Even if men don’t experience these problems firsthand, that’s no excuse to remain in the dark.
Staying silent or ignoring what women go through every day means that you actively choose to further patriarchy.
#10
I’m a male teacher. A good one, but probably a few steps from being a great one.
The amount of times that parents and administrators will listen to me over my women colleagues is ridiculous. Friends, I’m just some jagoff that just wants your kid to listen and succeed. So does she.
The amount of times that parents and administrators will listen to me over my women colleagues is ridiculous. Friends, I’m just some jagoff that just wants your kid to listen and succeed. So does she.
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59points
#11
Always having to smile and “be nice.” I am an executive, I am an economist, I am an analytical professional, and yet even when doing my job if I’m neutral it will be perceived as rude.
Women are expected to be smiling and nice as our neutral position and neutral-face is interpreted as angry, moody, or harsh. It is as if we are required to be constantly be propping up and reassuring the people around us, as if we never get to stop being their mother even as we are leading hundreds of people and making billion dollar decisions.
Women are expected to be smiling and nice as our neutral position and neutral-face is interpreted as angry, moody, or harsh. It is as if we are required to be constantly be propping up and reassuring the people around us, as if we never get to stop being their mother even as we are leading hundreds of people and making billion dollar decisions.
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57points
#12
Men ogling, cat calling, and making disgusting comments. Starts from about 10-12 years old and it’s usually middle aged married men. That was the age I started seeing them start with my daughter too.
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56points
If you’ve never been dismissed by a doctor for complaining about pain, it’s hard to imagine how exhausting it is to justify your own body over and over again.
About 72% of millennial women reported feeling gaslit by medical professionals, according to a recent survey in the US.
“Medical gaslighting includes actions such as ignoring or interrupting patients, minimizing the severity of symptoms, and refusing to order follow-up tests, all of which can lead to misdiagnosis, delayed treatment and emotional distress,” says Shannon Davila, an executive director at Emergency Care Research Institute.
#13
Very serious stuff here, as it should be. As a man, I wanted to share a big revelation to me that I didn't know until I dated a girl for the first time: How inconsistent clothing sizes are. Women don't have the luxury of just "knowing" their size and being able to order online without trying it on. Also: pockets. I didn't realize pockets were a male privilege either.
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53points
#14
The audacity of some men to think that just because I'm a woman means I don't know anything.
Go into a mechanic shop for a tire rotation... Try and upsell you on all kinds of stuff that you don't need.
As a trucker it's even worse.
I've had highway patrolman absolutely NOT believe that I was driving an 80,000lb semi truck *all by myself*. That one officer continued to ask me where my codriver was, and why HE wasn't coming to the front. I not only had to get my dispatcher involved but I also had to ask for a supervisor.
I've had diesel mechanics tell me I didn't know what I was talking about when it came to my truck. I even had one mechanic tell me that some truck models just lean to one direction... *completely ignoring the fact that all of the air bags on the passenger side of the cab were broken*.
I've been trespassed off of one property. The MHC Kenworth dealership in Oklahoma City OK. Why? Because the guy kept interrupting me, said I was stupid, called me the b word, and then in a cutesy baby voice asked me if I was on my pewiod because I was SO hormonal. I swiped everything off that freaking counter and told him if he talked to me like that again I was coming over the counter and we were BOTH going to the hospital.
Go into a mechanic shop for a tire rotation... Try and upsell you on all kinds of stuff that you don't need.
As a trucker it's even worse.
I've had highway patrolman absolutely NOT believe that I was driving an 80,000lb semi truck *all by myself*. That one officer continued to ask me where my codriver was, and why HE wasn't coming to the front. I not only had to get my dispatcher involved but I also had to ask for a supervisor.
I've had diesel mechanics tell me I didn't know what I was talking about when it came to my truck. I even had one mechanic tell me that some truck models just lean to one direction... *completely ignoring the fact that all of the air bags on the passenger side of the cab were broken*.
I've been trespassed off of one property. The MHC Kenworth dealership in Oklahoma City OK. Why? Because the guy kept interrupting me, said I was stupid, called me the b word, and then in a cutesy baby voice asked me if I was on my pewiod because I was SO hormonal. I swiped everything off that freaking counter and told him if he talked to me like that again I was coming over the counter and we were BOTH going to the hospital.
48points
#15
Some men think that women can just bat their eyelashes and get a guys attention but it's not true. Especially if you're an ugly woman. Men are often dismissive of your existence or downright violent towards you if you're ugly.
You could simply be walking towards the same door as a pretty woman and a guy will hold it open for her and let it slam in your face because you're ugly to him. I was once threatened with violence by a coworker while we were all talking once and nobody said anything in my defense. Meanwhile a more "conventionally attractive" coworker said something similar and his reaction was friendly.
You could simply be walking towards the same door as a pretty woman and a guy will hold it open for her and let it slam in your face because you're ugly to him. I was once threatened with violence by a coworker while we were all talking once and nobody said anything in my defense. Meanwhile a more "conventionally attractive" coworker said something similar and his reaction was friendly.
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47points
Some men also get defensive or try to downplay women’s struggles.
It’s common to hear phrases like “Not all men,” or “Men have problems too” when women start talking about gender issues.
And the worst of all: “You’re overreacting.”
All of these end up shifting the focus away from what women really go through.
#16
Being taken seriously.
Having a problem? Maybe you just don’t get it. Having a health issue? Maybe the pain is in your head.
Looking nice? Just a piece of meat.
Not looking nice? Not worth anything.
Trying to communicate? Jeez she needs to talk so much.
It just never ends. Women always need to fit into the space that is made for them but are not allowed to take up the space they want or need.
Having a problem? Maybe you just don’t get it. Having a health issue? Maybe the pain is in your head.
Looking nice? Just a piece of meat.
Not looking nice? Not worth anything.
Trying to communicate? Jeez she needs to talk so much.
It just never ends. Women always need to fit into the space that is made for them but are not allowed to take up the space they want or need.
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44points
#17
I recommend the book Invisible Women by Caroline Criado Perez. It’s full of stuff like this, from why public transportation is more unsafe for women, to crash test dummies being designed after the average male so cars are unsafe, to the lack of “pregnant woman parking”, to women in public office being subjected to different scrutiny than the men (if you aren’t “warm” or you’re ambitious, clearly you aren’t fit for office).
It’s an eye opener for sure.
It’s an eye opener for sure.
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43points
#18
Taking care not to get in a situation where you could be attacked. Keep the windows closed especially at night, check the back seat of the car before you get in, all of that.
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42points
Some men might avoid these talks because they see them as “too emotional” or uncomfortable. It might also challenge how logical or fair they consider themselves to be.
Accepting or acknowledging what women say would mean admitting that they might have some responsibility in a system that has historically favored men.
Some men also don’t like the idea that they need to change their behavior or attitudes, while others might just want to avoid facing that responsibility altogether.
#19
Being gaslit when dealing with peri-menopause symptoms. Women are often told (including by their OB/GYNs) that severe pain and bleeding are normal and just deal with it. I nearly lost my wife because of this and her doctor completely missed a serious condition. Currently in the process of filing an official complaint.
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42points
#20
For a woman to be called dumb, she must be dumb once, about one thing. For a man to be called dumb, he must be dumb about absolutely everything all the time.
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41points