Proposing marriage is asking a person to spend the rest of their life with you. But many factors have to feel right for someone to say “Yes.” In fact, about one in four women have rejected a marriage proposal, according to research from the travel firm Superbreak.
It might seem impossible for a relationship to continue after the woman says “No.” However, studies show that about 30% of couples go on as if nothing happened or even get married later on.
Some people bring up the question to their partners unexpectedly and then have to deal with a response they didn’t anticipate. Bored Panda has collected some stories from several online threads about what happens when proposals go awry. Some end in heartbreak, others get do-overs and end in lasting marriages, while others lead to shocking and extra-public revelations.
#1
Proposed to Girlfriend after she got off work on a Monday with her favorite meal prepared, and the apartment all lit with candles, rose petals on the floor after having had a special weekend together. (she is shy and promised violence if proposed to in public)
She said No no no! No! NO! when i asked her to marry me as she came in the door to our apartment.
She worked in the medical field and had puke all over her.....
She showered and said yes.
She said No no no! No! NO! when i asked her to marry me as she came in the door to our apartment.
She worked in the medical field and had puke all over her.....
She showered and said yes.
74points
#2
My dad proposed to my mom the night he met her. The way they explain it, they "bared their souls to each other" that night. They talked for hours uninterrupted. And even though my dad wasn't looking to get married, he just knew. She said no, but did say yes to another night out.
He proposed again. She said no, but again, accepted another date. This went on nearly daily for 6 months.
One night, my parents played Scrabble against each other for the first time. My mom loves Scrabble. She kicks people's bum up and down the block, and this is a woman who takes pride in being well read enough to serve as a quick reference thesaurus. After a hard fought game, she lost for the first time she could remember. And my 105 pound 5 foot nothing mother swept the board and pieces of the table sending them flying across the room. She looked at my dad and said in a fury, "Fine, I'll marry you!" My dad responded, in classic male fashion, "Uhhh. I need to think about it."
He thought about it, and barely 8 months after they met, my parents married in a tiny chapel in Vegas. They celebrated 23 years this year.
He proposed again. She said no, but again, accepted another date. This went on nearly daily for 6 months.
One night, my parents played Scrabble against each other for the first time. My mom loves Scrabble. She kicks people's bum up and down the block, and this is a woman who takes pride in being well read enough to serve as a quick reference thesaurus. After a hard fought game, she lost for the first time she could remember. And my 105 pound 5 foot nothing mother swept the board and pieces of the table sending them flying across the room. She looked at my dad and said in a fury, "Fine, I'll marry you!" My dad responded, in classic male fashion, "Uhhh. I need to think about it."
He thought about it, and barely 8 months after they met, my parents married in a tiny chapel in Vegas. They celebrated 23 years this year.
61points
#3
I proposed after 3ish years of dating and one year of living together and she said no. I was offering her my great-grandparents wedding ring. That was Friday night. By Sunday night, after a trip to her parents, she came back and told me that she was gay. That was 22 years ago.
Since then I have been married for 16 years to the next woman I dated. My wife has the wedding ring that I offered to my ex. The gay girlfriend has been with her partner for nearly 22 years. I have a daughter and they have a girl and a boy. I love them and they are just the best people ever. This is a bullet we both dodged.
Since then I have been married for 16 years to the next woman I dated. My wife has the wedding ring that I offered to my ex. The gay girlfriend has been with her partner for nearly 22 years. I have a daughter and they have a girl and a boy. I love them and they are just the best people ever. This is a bullet we both dodged.
53points
#4
I proposed after 7 months of dating and she said "no" as it was too soon. I agreed and put the ring in a safety deposit box and told her that if she changed her mind, it's there for her. After 2 weeks, she said "yes" and we decided to have a long engagement period (2 years) so that we could be sure. We've been married for 37 years.
45points
#5
Not my story but the best one I've ever heard.
My friend's parents met at a bar down the shore. Her dad was crazy about her mom, but it was unrequited. She slept with him anyway, just a one night stand, and ignored him after that. Until she found out she was pregnant.
He was over the moon and she was intent on having the baby. He tried to be with her, but she consistently refused him. Proposed to her several times, ending in eye rolls and exasperated "no"'s from her each time.
After 9 months, she went into labor and let him come with her into the delivery room. Just her and this guy who had been begging her to marry him. A few hours into labor, the doctors started to notice something was wrong. The baby's heartbeat was slowing rapidly.
The mother started to panic, but the father stayed calm. He stayed with her and communicated information from the doctors. But there was little anyone could do. She delivered a stillborn.
After everything happened, my friends mom realized she had found her soulmate. They finally got together and are still married to this day.
My friend's parents met at a bar down the shore. Her dad was crazy about her mom, but it was unrequited. She slept with him anyway, just a one night stand, and ignored him after that. Until she found out she was pregnant.
He was over the moon and she was intent on having the baby. He tried to be with her, but she consistently refused him. Proposed to her several times, ending in eye rolls and exasperated "no"'s from her each time.
After 9 months, she went into labor and let him come with her into the delivery room. Just her and this guy who had been begging her to marry him. A few hours into labor, the doctors started to notice something was wrong. The baby's heartbeat was slowing rapidly.
The mother started to panic, but the father stayed calm. He stayed with her and communicated information from the doctors. But there was little anyone could do. She delivered a stillborn.
After everything happened, my friends mom realized she had found her soulmate. They finally got together and are still married to this day.
39points
#6
I asked, she said no because I drank way too much. I said I would get it under control. I tried bluffing instead. She saw through it and kicked me out. She was right.
I don't have a clue where she is or whatever happened to her.
I quit drinking now but that was definitely my life's most cruel lesson.
I don't have a clue where she is or whatever happened to her.
I quit drinking now but that was definitely my life's most cruel lesson.
37points
#7
I'm the denier.
I'd been dating this girl for 6 months, and it was going pretty well. We hardly ever fought, but when we did it was hard for us to get back to normal.
At a good point, she said "I feel like I should pop the question". I have absolutely no poker face, and she instantly saw that I wasn't on board. As a child of the 80's, ALL of my friends had parents who'd divorced, and I'd made an oath to myself that I was just going to be married once. I liked this girl a lot, but I wasn't convinced yet that what we had was going to last forever.
So, we stayed together, went to couples counseling, and learned how to fight. It sounds strange, but I can't tell you how effective it was. We learned that my conflict pattern is to constantly work on a problem until it's solved, where her pattern is to blow off steam over time. The result was that I would keep conversations going when we fought, and would basically chase her around keeping her mad and blocking her attempts at breaking off to cool down. I learned to just let her be mad, and check back in later, and she learned to say "I just need to be by myself for a bit". It worked.
Our 'good relationship with rough fights' turned into 'great relationship with mature, low drama fights'. Conflicts that used to hang a dark cloud over the house for days were now resolved in hours. At that point I felt comfortable enough to say yes to a year long engagement.
....and we've now been married 18 years, have supported each other through thick and thin, and are raising two awesome kids.
The ONLY regret I have is that we ended up without a proposal story, as it was effectively negotiated over time. I did get on my knee and present a ring at a fancy dinner, but even then it was a ring we'd picked out together, as she was a jewelry smith
I'd been dating this girl for 6 months, and it was going pretty well. We hardly ever fought, but when we did it was hard for us to get back to normal.
At a good point, she said "I feel like I should pop the question". I have absolutely no poker face, and she instantly saw that I wasn't on board. As a child of the 80's, ALL of my friends had parents who'd divorced, and I'd made an oath to myself that I was just going to be married once. I liked this girl a lot, but I wasn't convinced yet that what we had was going to last forever.
So, we stayed together, went to couples counseling, and learned how to fight. It sounds strange, but I can't tell you how effective it was. We learned that my conflict pattern is to constantly work on a problem until it's solved, where her pattern is to blow off steam over time. The result was that I would keep conversations going when we fought, and would basically chase her around keeping her mad and blocking her attempts at breaking off to cool down. I learned to just let her be mad, and check back in later, and she learned to say "I just need to be by myself for a bit". It worked.
Our 'good relationship with rough fights' turned into 'great relationship with mature, low drama fights'. Conflicts that used to hang a dark cloud over the house for days were now resolved in hours. At that point I felt comfortable enough to say yes to a year long engagement.
....and we've now been married 18 years, have supported each other through thick and thin, and are raising two awesome kids.
The ONLY regret I have is that we ended up without a proposal story, as it was effectively negotiated over time. I did get on my knee and present a ring at a fancy dinner, but even then it was a ring we'd picked out together, as she was a jewelry smith
33points
#8
She said no and then confessed that she had been sleeping with my brother it ruined the trip a bit tbh.
32points
#9
Not a woman who turned down a proposal but I have a friend who did. I assume it had something to do with the fact that he was 50 years older than her. And she was 13. And he was drunk. And homeless. And he proposed with a potato.
26points
#10
We'd been dating for three years, having some trouble and he wasn't interested in making any changes to work things out. He basically broke up with me, turned out I was relieved, then found out he was really just bluffing to 'teach me a lesson'. When he figured out that I was okay with breaking up, he proposed. Really pissed me off. I actually responded with 'I have a date this weekend'. I guess that was a little harsh, but don't propose out of desperation because you screwed up.
26points
#11
From South India.. proposed her and got rejected right away. The reason is her parents won't accept the marriage outside their caste. Long story short, I waited and she accepted me after 3 years and took another 5 years to convince both our families. Married at 2011 and expecting our 2nd child next month.
Sorry for bad English, not even my second Language here.
Sorry for bad English, not even my second Language here.
24points
#12
We had been together on and off for five years.
She kept coming back and telling me she couldn't live without me, then get sick of me and drop me for a few months at a time.
(And make no mistake, I was a no-esteem whiner back then).
She knew I am the marrying type, but she could not commit. Finally, after I had moved into my own apartment away from roommates, she asked to move in. I basically countered with a marriage proposal, knowing in the back of my head she would likely say no.
That's what happened, and we never got back together. 18 months later, I met the woman of my dreams and now we have been happily married for over 15 years.
Worked out just fine, thanks :)
She kept coming back and telling me she couldn't live without me, then get sick of me and drop me for a few months at a time.
(And make no mistake, I was a no-esteem whiner back then).
She knew I am the marrying type, but she could not commit. Finally, after I had moved into my own apartment away from roommates, she asked to move in. I basically countered with a marriage proposal, knowing in the back of my head she would likely say no.
That's what happened, and we never got back together. 18 months later, I met the woman of my dreams and now we have been happily married for over 15 years.
Worked out just fine, thanks :)
23points
#13
I turned down a proposal using the excuse that he was drunk. He was but I knew he was serious. I drove him home and tried the old 'I want to be friends' speech but he shut me down. He said if I didn't love him he would just have to get over me. And he got out of the car and walked away.
A day later I realized what a idiot I was being and I called him.
Tomorrow is our 26th anniversary.
A day later I realized what a idiot I was being and I called him.
Tomorrow is our 26th anniversary.
23points
#14
My dad proposed to my mom after they'd been seeing each other for just under two weeks. She laughed and basically told him he was crazy, that it was way too soon. My dad said, (and he is very proud of this fact,) "Fine. I asked you once. I'm not gonna ask again." My mom thought he was bluffing. After a year of dating she started giving him a hard time about not asking her to get married again, and he stuck to his guns and said she missed her chance and he wasn't going to ask again. My mom finally broke down and asked *him* to marry *her*. Made sure she properly made fun of him when she did it, too. Made a big show about asking his father for permission, got down on one knee in public, got him the gaudiest engagement ring she could find. He said yes and they just celebrated their 30th anniversary.
EDIT: I guess I could have done a better job of conveying the spirit of my dad's initial proposal, because some people seem to think it was a serious thing where he actually got down on one knee, but it wasn't anything like that. My mom and dad were planning their next date, trying to figure out if they could go do anything after he got off of work, and he said, "Hey! I know! We could go get married!" He was serious but he framed it as a joke because he knew it was insane.
She thought he was joking but kind of suspected he wasn't, asked him if he was crazy in the very loud, hard to be offended-by-it way she has, said it's too soon but, you know, feel free to ask again later. My dad kept up his joking tone when he said he wouldn't ask again, hence why my mom thought he was just kidding when he wouldn't ask again. It wasn't at all framed like an ultimatum, but he really enjoyed reminding my mom of the fact that he'd already asked her to marry him whenever she nagged him about when he was going to get around to proposing.
EDIT: I guess I could have done a better job of conveying the spirit of my dad's initial proposal, because some people seem to think it was a serious thing where he actually got down on one knee, but it wasn't anything like that. My mom and dad were planning their next date, trying to figure out if they could go do anything after he got off of work, and he said, "Hey! I know! We could go get married!" He was serious but he framed it as a joke because he knew it was insane.
She thought he was joking but kind of suspected he wasn't, asked him if he was crazy in the very loud, hard to be offended-by-it way she has, said it's too soon but, you know, feel free to ask again later. My dad kept up his joking tone when he said he wouldn't ask again, hence why my mom thought he was just kidding when he wouldn't ask again. It wasn't at all framed like an ultimatum, but he really enjoyed reminding my mom of the fact that he'd already asked her to marry him whenever she nagged him about when he was going to get around to proposing.
22points
#15
She said no, because she didn't think we were ready yet. She was a Senior in College, I had graduated but hadn't found a good job in my field.
After graduation, and her getting a professional job (And me getting a not quite so bad job)
We got married exactly 1 year later, on the Anniversary of the day she said no the first time.
19 years and 4 kids later, It's going pretty well.
After graduation, and her getting a professional job (And me getting a not quite so bad job)
We got married exactly 1 year later, on the Anniversary of the day she said no the first time.
19 years and 4 kids later, It's going pretty well.
22points
#16
He (we were a gay couple) said no but I planned it that way. I'd been gone on a trip to Italy for a few months and had suspected he was cheating on me with his ex for awhile. While in Italy my best friend sent me pictures of them kissing at a bar.
The next day I bought the ring and flew back to the US. After I landed I proposed to him at the airport gate. He said no and I asked why not. He said it was too early. I showed him the picture of him and his ex and asked "You sure it isn't because you're a sack of trash?", took the ring back, and he moved out two weeks later.
The next day I bought the ring and flew back to the US. After I landed I proposed to him at the airport gate. He said no and I asked why not. He said it was too early. I showed him the picture of him and his ex and asked "You sure it isn't because you're a sack of trash?", took the ring back, and he moved out two weeks later.
21points
#17
I'm not a woman but I am a man who has been turned down before. I did the whole shabang, even brought roses, but being in the fourth grade probably ruined it for me.
21points
#18
We'd been dating long distance for two months when he called me and laid out his entire life plan for "us". We were to marry. Immediately. I would graduate school, become pregnant a lot while using my (art) degree to support our kids and his suddenly desired career in full time volunteer ministry work. Never mind our religious differences and my already stated intention to remain childless.
He didn't propose. Propose implies asking. He just stated it as fact and was honestly surprised when I objected.
None of this was in my life plan, at all, nor was it discussed between us prior. He broke up with me very shortly afterward, citing my supposed inability to be a 'reasonable, rational person' in light of my rejection of his unilateral propositions.
We were both in our early 20's. Bullet. Dodged.
He didn't propose. Propose implies asking. He just stated it as fact and was honestly surprised when I objected.
None of this was in my life plan, at all, nor was it discussed between us prior. He broke up with me very shortly afterward, citing my supposed inability to be a 'reasonable, rational person' in light of my rejection of his unilateral propositions.
We were both in our early 20's. Bullet. Dodged.
21points
#19
Not denied during a proposal but 99% sure she realized I was going to propose and bailed before I had the chance.
Eight years and change together, everything seemed totally fine, we talked about a future together plenty of times, engagement rings, jobs, housing, kids, etc. The job and housing parts were going forward and she had shown me rings and talked weddings plenty so it felt like it was time to finally do that. Bought a ring, tried planning some neat trips to take her on for an awesome proposal, they kept not happening, finally decided I was just going to do it around New Years, but right before that she bailed. Timing was just so perfect for her not to have figured it out.
Never really got an explanation, just the general, "I love you but I'm not in love with you."
One of those kinda generic statements that you hate to get, especially after so long, but at the same time I'm sure there was plenty of legitimacy to it. We met when we were young and we grew into different people. People change a lot between the mid teens and mid twenties.
We tried to maintain a friendship for a while after that but it was super hard for me because I was still totally into her. I had to basically drop off the map entirely for a year or so because we shared the same social circle and I just got so incredibly uncomfortable around her. No hard feelings I guess at the end of the day, it sucked, but it wasn't like something awful happened between us. Eventually we just stopped talking. She drifted to a new social group, I got back in mine, life goes on. Definitely not where I expected to be at this point in my life though.
Not anywhere near as exciting/interesting as some other stories.
Eight years and change together, everything seemed totally fine, we talked about a future together plenty of times, engagement rings, jobs, housing, kids, etc. The job and housing parts were going forward and she had shown me rings and talked weddings plenty so it felt like it was time to finally do that. Bought a ring, tried planning some neat trips to take her on for an awesome proposal, they kept not happening, finally decided I was just going to do it around New Years, but right before that she bailed. Timing was just so perfect for her not to have figured it out.
Never really got an explanation, just the general, "I love you but I'm not in love with you."
One of those kinda generic statements that you hate to get, especially after so long, but at the same time I'm sure there was plenty of legitimacy to it. We met when we were young and we grew into different people. People change a lot between the mid teens and mid twenties.
We tried to maintain a friendship for a while after that but it was super hard for me because I was still totally into her. I had to basically drop off the map entirely for a year or so because we shared the same social circle and I just got so incredibly uncomfortable around her. No hard feelings I guess at the end of the day, it sucked, but it wasn't like something awful happened between us. Eventually we just stopped talking. She drifted to a new social group, I got back in mine, life goes on. Definitely not where I expected to be at this point in my life though.
Not anywhere near as exciting/interesting as some other stories.
20points
#20
I was proposed to and said no.
After 4 weeks of dating he got down on his knee with a HUGE diamond ring and said a huge speech along the lines of "when you know you know. Will you marry me?"
Since i barely knew the guy i flat out said no followed by "sorry...are you okay?"
He didn't speak to me for the rest of the night and then when he dropped me home i told my roomate about it. As i was telling her about it i get a text from him - YES A TEXT - saying "you've broken my heart. I never want to see you again. Goodbye. I love you."
We were both 22 at the time.
After 4 weeks of dating he got down on his knee with a HUGE diamond ring and said a huge speech along the lines of "when you know you know. Will you marry me?"
Since i barely knew the guy i flat out said no followed by "sorry...are you okay?"
He didn't speak to me for the rest of the night and then when he dropped me home i told my roomate about it. As i was telling her about it i get a text from him - YES A TEXT - saying "you've broken my heart. I never want to see you again. Goodbye. I love you."
We were both 22 at the time.
18points