If you're a woman, there's a good chance you might agree that it's not an easy road to walk. Or run. We carry a lot on our shoulders, and in our wombs, and get little thanks in return. So why then do we make life even harder for our fellow women?
Toxic femininity refers to a "rigid and repressive definition of womanhood, including pressures women face to restrict themselves to stereotypically feminine traits and characteristics." That's according to VeryWellMind. The site adds that toxic femininity is also the "adherence to the gender binary to receive conditional value in patriarchal societies."
Basically, women feel they must behave in very traditional, "feminine" ways in order to hold a place in society, or be valued in a male-dominated world.
#2
#3
Us ladies are told we must be gentle, quiet, and self-sacrificing. We have to have empathy, sensitivity, and gracefulness. Be a good girl... Put up with sh*t at the expense of our happiness. All of these beliefs limit women from being their true selves. Or living their best (authentic) lives.
"If toxic masculinity encourages violence and domination in order to uphold an unequal power dynamic, then toxic femininity supports silent acceptance of violence and domination in order to survive," explains VeryWellMind.
#4
When mother in laws side with their sons rather than their daughter in law even though the son is very obviously in the wrong or equally at fault. Mothers should be able to view their children, male or female, with a clear lens. You are not being a protective mother, you are being toxic. You are failing yourself, your son and their relationship because you are incapable of seeing that your son has flaws and is capable of making bad decisions like everyone else on earth. Now, other family members shouldn’t even be involved in most disagreements or arguments, but IF they happen to be, they either need to stay out of it or treat each side with understanding.
Sometimes it doesn’t even have to be an argument between the couple. It could even be something that just happens to upset/bother the mother.
My own mom has blamed my sister in laws for joint marriage decisions. They spent too much money? Automatically the woman’s fault. They eat out too much? Daughter in law should be cooking more. Kid has a cavity? Why isn’t daughter in law brushing their teeth better?!
Somehow, it falls on women. I’ve seen it within my own family and many others.
Toxic s**t.
#5
-Other women enforcing and judging for not fitting into societal beauty standards, I have a coworker who dresses more on the casual side for work and gets judged for it even though it’s not an issue for any authority figures at my job
-judging other women for choosing to be childless
-judging other women for choosing to be housewives
-writing off other women’s struggles and emotions that involve a toxic spouse, siding with the man because “girls are crazy”
-mothers of adult women treating them like they have no worth if they aren’t married and catering to their husbands
-expectations of weight and overall appearances that are enforced by other women
Internalized misogyny makes me so sad when I witness it in real time from the women in my life. There’s so much pressure from every angle to be a certain way, act a certain way. You’re either too much or not enough as a woman.
Toxic masculinity states that men are tough. There's no time for tears or softness. And certainly no place for "girly" emotions, or anything considered feminine...
But toxic femininity isn't so far from it. It pressures women to be "quiet, nurturing, submissive, and attractive," notes the site, adding that 'womanhood' in this instance is defined in a "very shallow manner that objectifies and harms women."
#7
#8
#9
Toxic femininity seems to be ever-changing... One minute, women are lauded for the being child-free, the next they are chastized. Today, women must wear make-up to work, tomorrow, they're criticized for wearing too much.
"Women who adhere to toxic femininity may be rewarded in society, and those who do not may be punished, which is a dynamic enforced by those with power to maintain their power," notes VeryWellMind.
#10
#11
"Rather than encouraging, supporting, and celebrating women to be fully expressed as they are, toxic femininity pressures women to feel apologetic, confused, and ashamed for their non-gender stereotype-confirming thoughts, ideas, and beliefs," cautions the site.
And what happens? Some women don't do perfectly normal things, like speaking up for themselves or showing confidence, because they're scared of being judged.
#13
Im sorry? Yes we do. Ive had eating disorders my whole life and been underweight but ya know who cares bc its related to being skinny.
Also the whole "housewife" thing, just because im a woman does not mean i should stay home and cook, take care of a child and clean. I want to work.
#14
Do you REALLY think your homemaker foremothers weren't working hard even during their luteal phase? My grandmother was a grown a*s adult before she had a washing machine and I assure you, keeping a home was hard a*s physical work. My grandparents and parents were bound and determined that I get an education BECAUSE they realized that office work was so much easier. Unless your ancestors were wealthy, they ALWAYS worked very hard.
#15
Helpless damsel in distress who can’t do anything without a “big strong man.”
Disempowers herself. Manipulative, especially with emotions. Judgmental. Mean girl energy.
#16
#17
#19
/justnomil is just full of them.
#20
S**t shaming other women for not being stereotypically demure and also shaming partners who have a higher s*x than they do for wanting to sleep with them, because women aren't supposed to want s*x.
Being miserable as a parent but trying to get child-free women to have babies too, and having children to avoid getting a job.
Being rude to people in public, safe in the knowledge they won't get assaulted for it,becayse they're a weak and feeble woman.
Being critical of other women's looks, for not being feminine enough (or of men, for being too feminine).