Women are paying thousands of dollars to scream and break objects all in a bid to release suppressed anger in what has been named “rage rituals”. The practice has become a growing trend circulating on social media. A psychologist has since commented on the distressing need to pay such a heavy cost to access these safe spaces.
Two-and-a-half years ago, after her divorce, Kimberly Helmus, a cybersecurity engineer, embarked on a retreat to Scotland with Mia Banducci − an author and self-described "Spiritual Fairy Godmother", better known online as Mia Magik.
Highlights
- Women pay thousands to participate in 'rage rituals' to release suppressed anger.
- Kimberly Helmus found grief for a friend's death during her first rage ritual.
- Mia Magik's rage rituals gained popularity, with one-day versions costing $222.
As part of the retreat, Mia held a rage ritual: a ceremony in which participants scream and beat large sticks on the ground in the woods, USA Today reported on May 8.
In Mia’s ceremonies, participants are typically encouraged to think of people and experiences that have wronged them and to scream and swing the sticks for at least 20 minutes.
Women are paying thousands of dollars to participate in "rage rituals"
Image credits: Mia Magik
Participants can also reportedly swing the sticks until they can no longer move their arms.
"There's no place where you can see women be able to be angry like that and it not be condemned," Kimberly told USA Today.
She continued: “'She's just hormonal. She's just unhinged. She's just crazy. She's just on her period. She's just, whatever.'
“This was a place where you were, probably for the first time in a really, really long time, if ever, able to scream out loud things about how you felt."
Image credits: Mia Magik
Mia has reportedly led rage rituals for several years and began doing them first for herself, then for friends, and, eventually, as part of her days-long retreats.
The private coach’s retreats include other activities and can reportedly range in price from around $2,000 to $4,000. Moreover, Mia’s one-day version costs $222 per ticket.
During the process of a rage ritual, participants gather large sticks while conjuring to mind "every person who's ever crossed you, who's ever hurt you, who's ever ignored your boundaries or taken advantage of you or abused you in any way,” according to USA Today.
After some warm-up breaths, the screaming and swinging begin. The ritual is reportedly held in the woods so participants can make noise without fear of bothering people nearby.
Participants scream and break objects to release suppressed anger
Image credits: Mia Magik
Mia told the American news outlet: "When people do this and give themselves permission to release their anger, their capacity for joy actually expands.
“They're able to feel more happiness and pleasure, and they go home to their families with more gratitude and ease and peace."
Kimberly reportedly thought her first rage ritual would address the anger she felt toward her ex-husband.
Instead, she felt a grief that she had been holding onto since witnessing the death of a friend when she was 15.
Image credits: Mia Magik
She told USA Today: "I remember it was a very kind of clear, light-switch moment where I was like, 'Oh, that's what this is about.'
“So many times I think you can't really feel a lot of stuff until you work through it."
In a video shared by Mia last year showcasing what a rage ritual looks like, many viewers were left inspired.
The practice has been gaining popularity on social media
“So, we all just simultaneously felt the urge to cry while watching this, right? I wish I could afford to go to this,” a TikTok user commented.
A woman wrote: “I got emotional just watching this,” to which Mia replied: “The energy when doing it with 30 other women is intense and so powerful!”
Someone penned: “I'm trying to not cry watching this... like it came outta nowhere and now I'm mad because I can't go to Scotland.”
An observer noted: “Feels like the episode of Handmaid’s Tale when they all took their anger out on Fred, less violent of course.
“Probably just as therapeutic though.”
A separate individual chimed in: “This is SO POWERFUL. I WISH I had the courage to release my ferocity but so am scared of myself.”
In response, Mia wrote: “So many people feel this way. Doing this ritual at my retreats, after days of healing and integration, & w/ sister is a safe container to express.”
Mia Banducci has led retreats featuring rage rituals
The businesswoman told USA Today that, while men have been taught to suppress sadness, women have been taught to suppress rage.
She said: "It's like, 'Don't be a bitch' or 'don't be angry' or 'don't be aggressive' or 'don't stand up for yourself.' 'Don't protect your integrity.' 'Don't tell anyone that they don't have consent to touch your body or speak to you in a certain way’.”
Mia continued: "There are particular emotions that are accepted in the gender binary that we each need to feel.
“Men need to cry − and it's so healthy for men to cry − and women need to be able to get angry."
By the end of her first rage ritual, Kimberly said, participants were covered in dirt and mud with bruises and cuts on their hands. Sticks were reportedly broken everywhere.
The cybersecurity expert admitted that she got a lot from the experience and that she had done it twice.
"It's really a place where you can be this feral, wild woman and not be looked at, other than with love and acceptance and care,” Kimberly said.
Gender norms typically allow women the freedom to express emotions more openly, with the clear exception of anger, according to Dr Christina Scott, a professor of social psychology at Whittier College in California whose research focuses primarily on sex and relationships.
She told Bored Panda in an email: "Imagine a man angrily kicking a flat tire and cursing under his breath and then imagine how we might perceive the same situation if the angry motorist was a woman.
"Secondly only to sadness/grief, the most common reason for women to cry is anger.
"Restricted from expressing their rage, tears are one of the most common methods of releasing that anger for many women."
The professor admitted that she thought paying thousands of dollars for a rage ritual was distressing, "not because women need a safe space for their rage, but that they have to seek an expensive opportunity for that release."
Christina continued: "The COVID-19 pandemic created an unimaginable amount of stress, especially for women who balanced employment with full-time caretaking of their children, extended family, or both.
"The opportunity to scream, throw objects, and demolish dishware may be unsettling to some, but perhaps that is because it is often seen as "unfeminine" instead of as a "release" of negative emotions.
"Rage rituals are unlikely to purge stress and anxiety completely, but combined with therapy and stress reduction practices, they may improve mental health for some.
"Judgment and condemnation of female expressions of anger might be one of the central reasons why women are screaming and throwing dishware in the first place."
"Goosebumps all over," a reader commented
