Mom Of 4 Disturbs Other Women At The Pool With Her Swimsuit, Asks If It Was Inappropriate

Being a mother and raising children is a beautiful and rewarding journey, but it certainly comes with its fair share of challenges. Most of the time, it’s typical things like juggling nap times and snack prep.

But for one woman on Reddit, the challenge she faced was far from ordinary. While taking her quadruplets to swimming lessons, she found herself unexpectedly shamed by other moms—not for her parenting skills, but for wearing a two-piece swimsuit that revealed her post-pregnancy belly.

Pregnancy brings about significant changes to a woman’s body, and adjusting to them can be challenging, especially when combined with the demands of caring for a new child. Stretch marks, weight gain, hormonal shifts, and even changes in shoe size are all normal parts of this journey, yet they can be difficult to accept.

Society often pressures women to “bounce back” quickly to their pre-pregnancy appearance, which only adds to the strain. In fact, studies show that nearly 70% of women feel dissatisfied with their appearance after pregnancy. Given the emotional toll this can take, it’s particularly disheartening that the woman who shared her story on Reddit had to endure shaming from other moms.

To learn more about these postpartum experiences, Bored Panda spoke with Hayley Oakes, a licensed midwife, educator, and mom.

“It is an unrealistic expectation and cruel behavior to shame other mothers for not ‘bouncing back,’” she says. “The truth is, there is no going back. Your body, even if it appears to look as it did pre-pregnancy, has forever been changed by growing and birthing a child. It’s only about embracing and moving forward with this new body to learn how best to support and nourish it.”

The physical changes women go through during and after pregnancy vary, but stretch marks—like those the Redditor was criticized for—are among the most common. Approximately 8 in 10 women develop stretch marks during pregnancy.

As Oakes explains, they occur due to rapid changes in the skin, such as sudden weight loss or gain. “The two main proteins in the skin—elastin and collagen, which support the elasticity of the skin as well as its strength and structure—can break when there’s rapid change. The healing process from this rupture results in striated marks on the skin, lighter in color, known as ‘stretch marks.’”

“It can be mentally challenging to not feel or look like yourself. Living in what feels like a foreign body can feel isolating and lonely,” Oakes says. However, she emphasizes that this grief and disruption to our sense of security and confidence can also be the beginning of a transformation. As she puts it, “This is the ego being challenged and transformed into a new identity—mother.”

Oakes advises mothers to lean into these feelings, knowing that they are an appropriate response to such a significant change. “Remember, everything is temporary. Prioritize self-care with regular solo moments to reflect and recharge, so you can continue to nourish both your mind and body.”