Working parents deserve our respect and yours. Not only are they taking care of their children, but they’re also grinding away, building a stable financial future for their family. Having so many responsibilities weighing on your shoulders can be exhausting! And while you expect your relatives to have your back, unfortunately, some of them can’t quite empathize with your struggles.
Redditor u/Delicious_Welcome171, a working mom, opened up to the AITA community about a sensitive situation in her family. She shared how she finally snapped at her in-laws, who thought that putting her child in daycare once a week meant that she was taking it easy… when in fact, she was busy working. Scroll down to read the full story and to check out how the internet reacted. Meanwhile, Bored Panda has reached out to the author for comment, and we’ll update the article as soon as we hear back from her.
Being a working parent is hard. You constantly have to juggle massive responsibilities, which can lead to burnout
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Image credits: Delicious_Welcome171
Empathy, active listening, and practical support from family and friends can make a huge difference
A major way that you can help your relatives who have children is babysitting for them once in a while. But aside from practical help like that, perhaps even more important is your emotional support.
Spending quality time with them, hearing them out, letting them vent a bit, and offering advice when needed can really help them understand that they’re not alone. A bit of empathy really does go a long way.
On the flip side, if you constantly disregard working parents’ struggles, don’t actively listen to their experiences, and think that their lives are problem-free, you risk damaging your relationship with them.
Besides, frankly, it’s rude to claim that you know how a person feels better than they do. Balancing work and childcare is extremely difficult compared to just doing one or the other.
If you want to be a more emotionally intelligent, empathetic, and supportive person, you’ve got to start actively listening to other people. If you’re just waiting for your turn to speak, dial back a bit and focus on the other person’s wants, needs, and struggles. Everyone wants to be heard and seen.
Criticizing someone for taking their child to a daycare is unfriendly, to put it mildly. Especially if they use the time to focus on work, in order to provide for their family.
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It's vital that working parents don't ignore their well-being. Proper rest is absolutely fundamental
NPR suggests that if you want to win back some time as a working parent, you can try looking for external support, such as asking for:
- More flexibility and assistance at work
- Help from your colleagues so you’re less overwhelmed
- Family and friends to babysit your children while you get some space to rest and take care of yourself
- Your partner to rebalance the workload at home so you’re not as depleted
- Help from your local community to support you from time to time
It’s also important to consistently take breaks so you don’t burn out. If you’re exhausted, it doesn’t help anyone. If you take good care of your physical, mental, and emotional well-being, you’re in a much better position to support your family.
NPR says that taking microbreaks can help. These are short, 10 to 15-minute breaks, where you intentionally don’t do anything productive. “So no washing dishes or reading work messages or whatever it is. Instead, choose something you find enjoyable and restorative, like taking a walk, sitting with your thoughts, or calling a friend.”
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It can make a huge difference in your life if your colleagues and managers have your back
In a piece for The Guardian, Sian Stranks stressed that being a working parent can really take a toll on you.
“I found it’s not as simple as switching into mum mode the moment I leave the office. I spent my commute on the phone, doing work calls, replying to emails, making every second count before making Emma my primary focus for the next few hours until she fell asleep. After that, I used to be back on my emails finishing my tasks for the day,” Stranks shared her hectic experience.
“I felt I had to justify my new working arrangement by being available all the time, resulting in a sense of frustration that I wasn’t able to give either work or parenting 100%. This was not only exhausting, but impossible to keep up.”
Stranks’ advice for other working parents is that you should be honest with yourself about your capabilities. Rearrange your job and workload so that you and your manager have realistic expectations.
You’ll have to reprioritize how you handle work-related things, from schedules and admin stuff to email management, so that you and the company both win. “Do your best work, follow your passions, and be confident in your experience and voice.”
According to Stranks, having support mechanisms in place is invaluable. “Don’t allow yourself to get anxious about the unknown when a simple conversation may be all you need to set things straight. Forgive yourself for feeling uncertainty or guilt, as you’re not alone,” she urges.
What are your thoughts, dear Pandas? Do you think the working mom was right or wrong to snap at her in-laws? Do we have any working parents in the audience today? If so, how do you balance all of your responsibilities without burning out? What advice would you give new parents who feel overwhelmed by everything? Share some of your wisdom with us in the comments below!
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The mom shared more details in the comments, as her story started getting more attention online
Most readers rushed to support the working mom. Here's their take on the family drama
Not everyone was on the same page. Some folks had a different perspective
