As the host of The Tonight Show often announces before he reads his favorite responses, each hashtag usually becomes a trending topic on Twitter in the US within minutes. This time, it was all about making people laugh by sharing real dating stories from hell that are nothing but entertaining. And looking at these tweets makes one thing clear — first dates are inherently awkward.
Fallon even kicked off the thread by sharing a funny experience: "My friend went to Red Lobster with a date who insisted on ordering everything in an Australian accent. He thought it was Outback Steakhouse." Well, a brief scroll through this list proves that some people have had it way, waaay worse.
In fact, a recent survey from Top10.com found that almost 60% of people admit to using an escape plan to get out of a bad first date. But how did they manage to get out of these nightmarish scenarios? Well, 21% of people under 29 years old texted friends and family to call them with an "emergency" that needs immediate attention, and another 21% of people over 60 preferred to be upfront by telling their date that they’re just not interested. Work and "not feeling well" were another two commonly used excuses, while the classic "use the bathroom" but quickly run the other way was a rare choice. But a choice nonetheless.
To gain more insight on first-date jitters and how to ensure we have a good time from an expert, Bored Panda reached out to Anna Eden, a dating and intimacy coach aiming to help career-focused people who’ve "made it" in life to make it in love so they can feel 100% fulfilled. She even shared her own #WorstFirstDate story in celebration of this viral thread: "A guy in Miami. On his way to me, he says the traffic is too bad and he turns around and sends a burrito delivery to my hotel room. I never met the guy. It was a good burrito tho!"
According to Eden, our nerves sometimes get the better of us during the first date because we’re too self-conscious. "Instead of focusing on co-creating, we focus on how we come across and what the other person will think about us," she told us.
"In general, we tend to attach performance to dates which can create pressure and discomfort. Especially if it’s an online date where you really have to put your face out there and the focus will be on what you’re saying, with less room for feeling the energy and taking in body language as an IRL date which can be more relaxing in that sense."
First dates can also feel quite intimidating because it’s vulnerable to open up and "be judged" by a potential partner, Eden added. "I think especially now, after these past two years of lockdowns and isolation, many singles experience social anxiety after staying home for so long. ... Suddenly we don’t get away with the sweatpants and we gotta put on our social skills. Honestly, even the extraverted got a bit introverted after this time!"
The coach pointed out that our nervous system prepares for the first date as we would go into the gladiator stadium — it tunes up all the stress levels and gets ready to fight or flight. "When in reality, we are just about to go on a date. Luckily we can teach our nervous system to unlearn the danger aspect of dating by practice and actually start to love going on dates. We get to see it as a fun meeting where we stay unattached to the outcome," Eden explained.
But let’s just acknowledge two widely known facts. First, almost all of us, at some point or another, have been on a bad date. Second, hearing strangers share stories about these absolutely awful experiences is nothing but entertaining.
"[There’s] definitely a recognition factor and the refreshing imperfection these stories communicate," Eden noted why we feel amused reading these tales. "They show what it is to be human, beyond flawless Instagram updates. It’s important to bond around that, the real-life stuff. We all had dates that went wrong and perhaps those felt a bit shameful, but this massive amount of shares going on now reminds us that we are not alone and it’s actually quite funny!"
When, for whatever reason, your date is a total fail and you’re left sitting there confused, how should you react? Do you make up an excuse and run for the hills? Or do you somehow shift your mindset and try to carry on? Well, Eden’s advice is to first avoid setting expectations for the evening in the first place. "When you have expectations on dates, you set yourself up for disappointment."
"Secondly, we have to remember we are humans, and we are not meant to match with everyone," she continued. "Try to shift the focus from a bad date to 'you’re not in alignment'. In fact, there’s never anything wrong with anyone, you’re just not a good match! And that’s okay. At least you had a meeting with a new person and hopefully, you learned something at least." And lastly, remember that you’re not obliged to stay. "You don’t owe your date anything and if something makes you uncomfortable, you can actually politely leave."
The most important lesson to take away from these dates is to see them as single experiences that do not determine your future dating life. "Keep the hopes up and see how you can become even more conscious with your dates the next time. For example, only go on dates with people you have a good feeling about and people who are in alignment with what you are looking for," the coach added.
We were also curious to learn whether there are any helpful tools or tactics we can use to make sure our future dates will be smooth sailing. "If you practice self-love, it’s easier to get excited about dates because you already feel good about yourself. My advice before a date is to stay centered in your own energy, perhaps meditate before, ground yourself, and take five deep breaths on the way there," Eden told us. "Then, be yourself! Always."
If you feel nervous during the date — zoom out. "Picture yourself sitting there and zoom out until you see yourself from outer space. Look how small you are and how insignificant this situation is in the big scheme of things. In the interaction, remember it’s not a job interview! Yes, you want to show your best side, I get it, but remember you are also there to see if this person in front of you sparks something inside YOU. Trust energy and not only the words."
Dating coach Eden was more than happy to share her go-to advice that makes the modern dating arena a little less challenging. "This is the first step, get clear on what you want and practice manifestation around who you are calling in. If you’re single, get clear on: What do you desire in a relationship? How do you wish to relate? What are your values?"
Then, make sure to craft an exceptional bio on dating apps. "It can be short, but the important thing is that it creates a realistic impression of you and what you’re about," the coach continued. "Some key tips: have clear and updated photos, no sunglasses and no kids that are not yours, please. Mention in your bio what you are looking for, it makes it easier to match with the right person."