Alcohol and good decisions have never been best friends. Nothing shuts down spatial awareness and critical thinking faster than ten shots of tequila—which, as you can imagine, rarely ends well.
But if there’s one upside to a tipsy disaster, it’s the legendary story you’ll (hopefully) remember well enough to tell later or at least have a friend remind you.
From TikTok to Reddit, people have been spilling the worst things they’ve done while completely hammered, and the results are equal parts hilarious and mildly tragic. Scroll down to see them all, and if you’ve got a story to rival these, we want to hear it.
#1
Wrecked my car, woke up in the ICU with a tube down my throat and a thermometer up my a*s. Obviously got a pretty serious dui with a blood alcohol level of .366. The bright side? 2 days later, while I was still in the hospital, I called a treatment center and was accepted into their program. 1 year 5 months later I’m still sober.
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82points
#2
Woke up with a matching tramp stamp with my best friend. We’re dudes.
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49points
#3
Drunk Me hides my things all. the. time. I wake up in the morning, head throbbing. Can't find my keys or my wallet or my purse or my shoes.
Where's my keys? Oh look, it totally makes sense that they're in the freezer inside of the bag of frozen fruit. My wallet is in that bag of DVDs that I haven't looked at since I moved into my apartment. One shoe is on the kitchen counter, the other one is tucked under a blanket by the front door. WHY do I even have a blanket by the front door?! WHO KNOWS.
Where's my keys? Oh look, it totally makes sense that they're in the freezer inside of the bag of frozen fruit. My wallet is in that bag of DVDs that I haven't looked at since I moved into my apartment. One shoe is on the kitchen counter, the other one is tucked under a blanket by the front door. WHY do I even have a blanket by the front door?! WHO KNOWS.
41points
#4
I was at a friend’s house and i was hugging her dog for two hours while crying because dogs don’t talk. My friend had to call my then boyfriend and another friend to calm me down (her mom was laughing)
41points
#5
Got drunk at my friend's house and accidentally got into his parents' bed w them.
39points
#6
Climbed on someone’s roof, fell asleep. Woke up when the sun came up crying because I’m scared of heights and didn’t know how to get down 😂
36points
#7
Not the worst thing, but the most recent. I ordered wings last night and saved sober me some in the fridge. Sober me came downstairs this morning, opened the fridge and saw a to go box, full of bones. An investigation revealed I'd thrown away the wings and refrigerated the bones.
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34points
#8
Bouncer kicked us out of the club cause I looked too drunk so I did a cartwheel in my very short dress to prove I wasn’t. Flashed everyone.
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33points
#9
Woke up to 20 dollars in my wallet, thought to myself "F**k yeah, I left with $60 so I only spent $40."
Look at bank account and realize I took out $200 more throughout the night. D**n you drunk me, D**n youu!
Look at bank account and realize I took out $200 more throughout the night. D**n you drunk me, D**n youu!
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30points
#10
On a drunken shopping spree with my mate, I bought a sh**load women’s bras and panties - rushed home so I could try them on, and fell asleep pretty soon afterwards. Next day when my Girlfriend came to visit, I had a pretty tough time explaining I wasn’t cheating on her.
I am male.
I also had to explain why I bought these clothes. This was much harder. To this day, I still have no f*****g clue.
I am male.
I also had to explain why I bought these clothes. This was much harder. To this day, I still have no f*****g clue.
29points
#11
Drove a car.
I came out of the darkness after I hopped a curb and hit a tree going 45. My airbag didn't go off but I was wearing a seatbelt. If I wasn't wearing it I'm sure I'd be dead. I feel lucky every day because that easily could have been a car with a family in it. I should be in jail.
In short, there's never a good reason to drive drunk. Take a cab, have a DD (a real designated driver not a designated drunk driver), or walk. One night of fun isn't worth k*****g other people or yourself. You could end up regretting it for the rest of your life.
I came out of the darkness after I hopped a curb and hit a tree going 45. My airbag didn't go off but I was wearing a seatbelt. If I wasn't wearing it I'm sure I'd be dead. I feel lucky every day because that easily could have been a car with a family in it. I should be in jail.
In short, there's never a good reason to drive drunk. Take a cab, have a DD (a real designated driver not a designated drunk driver), or walk. One night of fun isn't worth k*****g other people or yourself. You could end up regretting it for the rest of your life.
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29points
#12
Most people get drunk at a bar and maybe blow some money in their wallet on drinks for their friends or girls. Maybe you buy a stranger a drink because you are feeling nice. Maybe you get real crazy and buy everyone in the bar a shot! Me? No. I BOUGHT THE BAR. Like literally. I owned a bar for about a week until the original owner decided he wanted it back and i gladly sold it back to him.
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28points
#13
Poured 2 containers of bubble bath into an inner city fountain before walking away and coming back an hour later to find it over flowing with bubbles. Then proceeded to skinny dip in said fountain.
27points
#14
When the uber driver dropped me off I ripped my false lashes, gave them to him, and said good night and left🙂
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26points
#15
Lost my keys, called a 24hr locksmith at 2am to get into my apartment, and then hooked up with the locksmith.
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24points
#16
I woke up recently with an unopened btl of vodka and a perfectly preserved Big Mac in my sock drawer.
Drunk Con normally looks after sober Con lol.
Drunk Con normally looks after sober Con lol.
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23points
#17
When I was in college my ex girlfriend and I were really drunk at a house party at the campus house of a few guys I knew and ended up writing on the walls with permanent marker.
I found out the next day from a mutual friend what we had done and immediately went over, apologized, and promised to come back later to get it all off.
I bought a bunch of cleaners and spent a few hours getting every thing off their walls, even if I didn't do it, because I felt so bad.
I found out the next day from a mutual friend what we had done and immediately went over, apologized, and promised to come back later to get it all off.
I bought a bunch of cleaners and spent a few hours getting every thing off their walls, even if I didn't do it, because I felt so bad.
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22points
#18
Walked into my neighbors LIVING ROOM (uninvited) to say hi because I noticed that their lights were still on. On a Monday night.
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22points
#19
Got my heel caught in a drain and tried to casually walk off and took the drain cover with me and continued to walk 😂
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22points
#20
Got drunk, went to a taco shop, loudly exclaimed "f**k these tacos are awesome!" and then wrote a $400 tip on the tip line of my receipt. I honestly don't remember if I meant to actually tip 400 since the tacos were so good, or 4.00 and forgot the decimal, but I was able to get the charge reversed luckily since I was a poor college kid who didn't even have $400 in my account. S**t a brick when I woke up to overdraft alerts on my phone though.
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21points