“It Was A Dealbreaker”: 37 People Who Need An Urgent Course In Dating 101

If you have sleepless nights stressing about what to say on a first date, you might want to reconsider your priorities. Research shows that people are likely to size you up before you even open your mouth. In other words, you've already made your first impression within the first 4-7 seconds of meeting someone.

"It only takes seven seconds for someone to look at you and form assumptions about your age, education, economic level, profession, heritage, and more," notes the Toastmasters site.

Yes, us shallow human beings make judgements about each other based on looks, and sounds, way before we hear what the other person has to say. And get this: we've already decided whether a person is attractive and trustworthy within a tenth of a second. That's according to research conducted by Princeton University. Blink and you'll miss it!

“The link between facial features and character may be tenuous at best, but that doesn’t stop our minds from sizing other people up at a glance,” explains Princeton University psychologist Alex Todorov. “We decide very quickly whether a person possesses many of the traits we feel are important, such as likeability and competence, even though we have not exchanged a single word with them. It appears that we are hard-wired to draw these inferences in a fast, unreflective way.”

The expert adds that people respond intuitively to faces so rapidly that our reasoning minds don't necessarily have time to influence the reaction. But before you give up altogether, there are some "first impression factors" that you can control...

Darren Menabney is a Fast Company & Forbes contributor, and TEDx speaker. He says there are three things that are vital in making a good first impression: your posture, your dress and your facial expression.

The expert says you should be aware of how you stand, how you’re walking, what your arms are doing. "Be aware of yourself and what your body is doing at all times," he writes.

According to Menabney, you want to avoid stooped shoulders, walking quickly with your head down, and keeping your arms crossed or held in front of you. Doing so can make you look like you lack confidence.

"Shoulders straight, walking at a steady pace with your head up, arms at your side? Great! We’ve all subconsciously sized you up as looking confident, relaxed, and implicitly trustworthy," he adds.

Whether you like it or not, your date may judge you based on how you're dressed. Clean and presentable = professional and confident, says the TEDx speaker.

Obviously, you'll want to wear clothes that are appropriate to the setting. So if you're going to the beach, a business suit probably isn't the right fit. Menabney advises that you always look in the mirror before leaving home. And we'd add: again for good measure, before meeting your date for the first time.

"Is your hair messy, or worse, dandruffy? Too much makeup? Unshaven, and not in a stylish manner? Your tie is loose, jacket is unbuttoned, shoelaces untied," writes Menabney, adding that while these may seem like minor things, they can make you look sloppy. "Again, we’ve subconsciously tagged you, and not in a positive way."

If you're unsure of what to wear, image consultant and fashion expert, Jill Swanson says that everyone has a signature color. “Color is huge,” she says. “Find out what your signature colors are—hair color, eye color, lip color. Look in the mirror and find something similar to your eye color for starters."

Swanson adds that when we look at someone, or meet them for the first time, our eyes automatically search their face for a particular color and zone in on it.

“If you’re wearing a red shirt, right away someone will notice your red lipstick,” she explains. “If you have brown eyes and wear a brown shirt, that helps hold the person’s gaze a little longer.”

Lastly, the experts suggest paying close attention to your facial expressions when meeting someone. Smile and make eye contact. "We instinctively react positively to smiles, it’s wired into us," reveals Menabney. "We want to share in whatever is making you smile, we want to hear your words."

Avoid frowning and letting your eyes dart all over the room in panic. This immediately brings your confidence level down says Menabney. Good eye contact builds trust and inspires confidence, he explains.

"If we see your eyes looking everywhere rapidly, we see someone who is nervous, who likes like they’ll panic. Again, our brains are wired for this. Our confidence in you takes a dive."

The expert adds that bringing your poker face that you think makes you look serious and professional, or like someone who should be respected and listened to, is also a big "no."

"You’ll come off as arrogant and cold before even opening your mouth," he warns.