“The Worst 45 Seconds Of My Life”: 30 Family Functions Gone Terribly Wrong

To learn more about family functions and why they're so often filled with drama, we reached out to Modern Therapy's clinician, Adnan Kastrat, LAC. Adnan was kind enough to have a chat with Bored Panda and first address what the importance of family gatherings are.

"Family functions can have a tremendous positive impact on our well-being and can naturally help strengthen bonds between family members when events go well, particularly when family is meaningful for someone," he shared. "Every family has their own culture, set of values, traditions and overall heritage. These factors can be very beneficial in helping establish a sense of identity and belonging."

"Family will typically be an easily accessible support system that may offer advice with personal issues or even just be a comfortable safe environment to fall back on during difficult times," Adnan continued. "Family functions are an excellent way of strengthening this relationship and helping one feel that they are not alone in facing the challenges of life."

But unfortunately, family events don't always go according to plan. "The nature of a family function is typically meant to bring those we love closer together and create important memories with one another," Adnan noted. "This natural expectation can often create unnecessary pressure to behave or present ourselves a certain way without taking into account if anyone is having personal issues or even unresolved issues with certain family members."

"In addition to these potential triggers, we often want our family to enter with the mentality of 'my house is your house' to promote safety and comfort. However, a lack of boundaries can often create a possibility for unnecessary tension and unintentional behaviors," the counselor continued.

"Finally, within any family, there is sure to be a range of ages and different viewpoints that come from generational differences which often leads to misunderstandings. The same way family can bring out our worst behaviors, we must remember that they too can bring out our best behaviors," Adnan says.

We also asked Adnan if he had any advice for avoiding drama when gathering with family. "As previously mentioned, there is an innate expectation that a family function is meant to be 'perfect' and filled with nothing but positivity. It is important to establish realistic expectations by first accepting that just like any other event there is always a possibility for something to go wrong," he shared. "Whether you are seeing a family member that you have a bad history with or expect that the 'black sheep of the family' will behave inappropriately, it is important to have realistic expectations."

Adnan also says it might be wise to establish a game plan with prepared responses if you are anticipating difficult conversations on specific topics, "such as the infamous topics of marriage and children."

"There should also be a planned out exit strategy should things become too intense whether you just need to step away for the moment or need a pre-planned excuse to leave early," the counselor added. "Always remember the family members who you identify as supportive or who do typically provide positive experiences as they can be your allies in navigating through difficult moments through their support."