When we think about the best Valentine’s Day gifts, a bouquet of flowers, a fancy dinner date, or a romantic getaway might spring to mind. But, of course, everyone’s definition of “the best” varies greatly.
Instead, some people receive what could be described as the “worst” Hearts’ Day present. These may range from cheap cards to hair trimmers, an ironing board, and a piece of meat (yes, you read that right).
These examples are responses to a Reddit thread from years ago, which becomes relevant around the days leading up to February 14th each year. Scroll through and see which ones you can learn from.
#1
I saved a patatoe in the freezer that was the perfect shape of a heart. I put it in there in June for February. When I got it out and proudly gave it to my wife it literally turned black and started leaking juices in front of her. In theory it was cute in practice it was like a death threat.
49points
#2
My ex gave me a stuffed dog teddy bear, which I thought was strange because I am 100% a cat person. There was a little card pinned to its ear which had been signed "Love Sara". He regifted an old vday gift...
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43points
#4
I bought my wife a microwave for our first Valentine's day back in 2005...she had just moved into her new place and needed a microwave...not sure why everyone didn't see how thoughtful I was being
36points
#5
Well my husband two years ago got me a scale for Christmas. It was my big gift. It connected via Bluetooth to an app on my phone. Now I will say that I am forever trying to lose a few pounds, but that gift stung a little.
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32points
#6
I bought an ex gf one of every Valentine's Day gift; bear, candy, lingerie, wine, balloons, all of it. She got me a turtle that sings "Can't Hurry Love". Took me a while to get that hint.
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31points
#8
A scrapbook containing "all your happiest memories together," that when you open it turns out to be blank.
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29points
#9
My mother lived in a tiny apartment with her friend while she worked in a tiny flower shop. Both of them worked long hours trying to make it, her a florist wanting to open her own place, her friend a starving photographer.
My dad raced motorcycles for a living back then and told my mother that he just won a big race and wanted to take her out to a nice dinner on Valentines Day and he has a gift for her that will he knows she will love. So naturally, my mother was sure he was going to propose.
After a great dinner at a very nice restaurant, he told her to hold out her hand and close her eyes for her gift. She stuck out her hand, palm down. He then turned her palm up and slapped a giant smoked summer sausage (salami) in it. Back then you bought that s**t in the mall and it was expensive. He literally said, "You and Bridgett can eat off of this for a week!!"
After she left crying, he got the hint. A month or two later, he showed up at the flower shop and order tulips from my mother. She, thinking "who the hell is he ordering tulips for??" told him that they were sold out. He then got on one knee, ring in hand, and asked, "Well, then, can I have yours?"
Seriously. My damn dad.
My dad raced motorcycles for a living back then and told my mother that he just won a big race and wanted to take her out to a nice dinner on Valentines Day and he has a gift for her that will he knows she will love. So naturally, my mother was sure he was going to propose.
After a great dinner at a very nice restaurant, he told her to hold out her hand and close her eyes for her gift. She stuck out her hand, palm down. He then turned her palm up and slapped a giant smoked summer sausage (salami) in it. Back then you bought that s**t in the mall and it was expensive. He literally said, "You and Bridgett can eat off of this for a week!!"
After she left crying, he got the hint. A month or two later, he showed up at the flower shop and order tulips from my mother. She, thinking "who the hell is he ordering tulips for??" told him that they were sold out. He then got on one knee, ring in hand, and asked, "Well, then, can I have yours?"
Seriously. My damn dad.
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29points
#10
He sent me a copy of the King James Bible. Because I was Catholic and my bible was 'wrong.'.
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28points
#11
Herpes, in a five-year marriage, where neither party had it before.
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24points
#12
My dad gave my step mom a toilet seat once for Valentine's Day. He genuinely thought he had the best gift ever. This happened over 5 years ago and we still laugh at him about it
EDIT: it was the most generic toilet seat ever. Not even one of the ones that go down slowly.
EDIT: it was the most generic toilet seat ever. Not even one of the ones that go down slowly.
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21points
#13
My dad bought my mom a pencil sharpener one year for Valentine's Day. It was the only gift he ever bought her on that day.
My sister and I pestered him relentlessly saying it was weird he had never bought her a Valentine's Day gift, so he listened for what she wanted. She had been complaining that their pencil sharpener was junk, so he went out and bought this really nice electric one (this was in the late 80s, so actually a pricey gift). My mom was SO mad and so he never bought her another Valentine's Day gift again.
EDIT: I just wanted to say my mom isn't a jerk at all. She did apologize later. After 18 years and two kids he for the first time ever got her something on Valentine's Day. She was expecting some romantic gesture and instead got a pencil sharpener. We all think it is hilarious now, but at the time she was confused and a bit let down. She didn't handle it well, but such is life.
This year is their 45th anniversary, so it wasn't that big a deal. It's just a running family joke. Every year on their anniversary my dad gets my mom a rose for each year they have been married, so he's not totally unromantic. Though it costs him about $200+ these days for her massive rose bouquet.
My sister and I pestered him relentlessly saying it was weird he had never bought her a Valentine's Day gift, so he listened for what she wanted. She had been complaining that their pencil sharpener was junk, so he went out and bought this really nice electric one (this was in the late 80s, so actually a pricey gift). My mom was SO mad and so he never bought her another Valentine's Day gift again.
EDIT: I just wanted to say my mom isn't a jerk at all. She did apologize later. After 18 years and two kids he for the first time ever got her something on Valentine's Day. She was expecting some romantic gesture and instead got a pencil sharpener. We all think it is hilarious now, but at the time she was confused and a bit let down. She didn't handle it well, but such is life.
This year is their 45th anniversary, so it wasn't that big a deal. It's just a running family joke. Every year on their anniversary my dad gets my mom a rose for each year they have been married, so he's not totally unromantic. Though it costs him about $200+ these days for her massive rose bouquet.
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19points
#14
Once I ordered my girlfriend flowers that didn't arrive (or were stolen from the porch), so I gave her the delivery confirmation instead.
It was not as funny as I thought it would be.
It was not as funny as I thought it would be.
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18points
#15
Last Valentines, MY gf found a sweater that my ex left a long time ago in my closet. I didn´t have the heart to tell her it was from my ex, so I said I had bought it for her for Valentines. She was so suprised and happy, and she absolutly loves the sweater, she wears it all the time...
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18points
#16
A bag to pack your belongings in so you can get out. I literally did this. I broke up with the same guy on valentines day, years apart. The first time was just bad timing, he was just very annoying and we were young teens. The second time was when we were adults. He had cheated on me and so I was already over the whole thing, but we got into an argument the morning of valentines day (seriously telling me I needed to hire a babysitter for my 1 year old so we could go grocery shopping... I don't think so) so I handed him a new bag that he had been wanting and told him to pack his stuff and go. And he did. Goodbye!
18points
#17
Girl I started dating a couple of months before Valentine's Day just got out of a long term relationship with her high school sweetheart. I didn't know she was still in contact with him when we were dating. She handed me a cute little bag with candy and a card. As I opened the card and read her pouring out her soul to her ex boyfriend about how much she still thinks about him and loves him. Evidently she made two gift bags. One for me and one for the ex and mixed them up.
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17points
#18
My girlfriend gave me a pack of cigarettes because I was trying to quit smoking, and she thought it would help me relax.
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17points
#19
A break up text after hyping your SO for some extravagant gift.
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16points
#20
When asked what my SO wanted one year, she said she wanted a H2O steamer mop. Cost me about £100 and she got flowers, chocolates and a date night on top of it. But of course, whenever telling the story, it has become the time I got her a mop for Valentine's Day.
Edit: Guys, please. As I said in a follow up post, everything said is in jest. We both laugh about it and I tell the story just as much as she does. Nobody is holding anything over anybody.
Edit: Guys, please. As I said in a follow up post, everything said is in jest. We both laugh about it and I tell the story just as much as she does. Nobody is holding anything over anybody.
16points