You’re NTA. All of your feelings are completely valid, and I would be extremely upset as well. Being drunk is no excuse for his actions, as they say, drunk words (or actions) are sober thoughts. You seem like a wonderful woman, you deserve someone who truly sees that and respects you and your feelings. Is there any reason he started drinking in the first place? Not asking you to tell me, that’s between you two, but if you don’t want to go full force and divorce him after all these years, I’d start with trying to figure out what caused him to start drinking so much. If it has anything to do with the love between you two running dry, obviously leave him, but if there’s something else going on maybe you two could try working through it together and he could return to the man he once was. At the end of the day, however, he should be respecting your feelings and making you feel like you’re the only woman in the world. He has definitely done enough at this point for divorce, because no one should have to be put through the things he has done to you. If he can’t understand that, that’s on him. I’m sure you’d go on to live a great, happy life yourself and maybe even find your actual soulmate.
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