BluEyedSeoulite
Community Member
This lazy panda forgot to write something about itself.
BluEyedSeoulite · upvoted 2 items
over 1 year ago
There's an update: OP has the child, ex agreed to only having supervised visits and to have this formalised in court. The guy is on OP's insurance and she offered to pay for half of his mental health treatment. She has notified his family of the situation as well and her dad is stepping in to help with childcare. OP is fine. The child is fine. And hopefully dad will be OK too. For anyone saying that OP is unfit due to her previous mental-health issues, this sort of prejudice is exactly why mothers are so reluctant to reach out for help. Because they are terrified that they could lose their child over nothing. Obviously sometimes it is necessary to remove a child, but there's still so much stigma surrounding mental health, that women regularly get in serious trouble just for admitting to it.
Whether meaning to or not, he weaponized leaving a toddler in harm's way to get his way. This is a game changer and all trust is lost. To even contemplate doing such a thing means he is not a fit parent.
BluEyedSeoulite · commented on a post
almost 2 years ago
Ngl, my 4yo acts the same but she is FOUR And I'm actively trying to get her out of this behavior by learning how to self-regulate her emotions, especially dealing with the big negative ones. It is HARD and emotionally draining as the parent but it is MY job because I am her parent. If my child did that, I'd apologize, have a long discussion with child, child would apologize, and it would be up to Aunt. No judgments from me.
BluEyedSeoulite · commented on 7 posts
about 2 years ago
There are days where I legit don't sit down and my house looks as dirty as when I started and I'm just like WTF?! Why did I even bother?
My niece has a 1yo and said in Indiana daycare is currently running at $500/week. If she worked, her whole paycheck would just go to daycare costs. Some people don't even make enough to cover daycare. This is how you end up with 'basement daycares', basically a babysitter thar may be sketchy but is cheaper than a legit daycare. Desperate parents make desperate decisions and the kids are the ones to suffer. (Most babysitters are fine but the bad ones...)
BluEyedSeoulite · upvoted 30 items
about 2 years ago
I just need to leave a quick round of cheering applause here. The thing is - he asked 'what's wrong'. She told him. He jumped to 'well, here's what you should do'. But simply offering a 'in so sorry you feel bad' and asking if there's anything you can do offers compassion, validation and makes you a safe haven to crawl to when life is hard. That's basically what one wants in a partner. It's not about who does what, he noticed she felt bad, asked why she felt bad, and she told him why she felt bad... and he told her what to do 'better'. That's classic problem solving instead of emotional support, and it's the main thing why relationships can be so rough.
This is the sort of man who thinks that him working longer hours means the woman should be doing all/vast majority of the parenting and household maintenance. News Flash: Those extra hours he things she has while he's working and she isn't, she's intensively parenting their child, cooking for, feeding, bathing dressing, changing etc - it's not leisure time, it's dedicated work. The chores still need to be 50/50.