75 Shocking Discoveries People Made About Their Partners After Marriage

The extent to which she thinks farts are funny. She let on that they were humorous before we got married, but now I realize she thinks they're goddam hilarious. A good fart can always put a smile on her face.

That he supported his buddy's family financially while his buddy spent a year in federal prison, not "England" as everyone else was told. My husband kept his buddy's employement open by doing his buddy's job as well as his own job during that year.

Edit: thought of another one. We were married about three years before I found out he had once given his cousin a stack of signed, blank checks because she was a single mom and struggling to pay her bills.

That he has a THIRD middle name.

He gets a pass though, because he didn't know either. And his amazing pinnacle of love and devotion, his mother, also forgot, and when shown the birth certificate showing a third middle name, wondered aloud, "Now why did I do that?"

That he had been a virgin when we met. Seriously, I couldn't even tell. Dude has some serious skill.

Found out my ex-husband picked his nose and wiped it under the couch.

He's literally never cleaned a thing in his life. No idea how to vacuum, clean a toilet or a shower.. it was interesting.

He's much better now.

He has a really hairy ... place. Like a mustache. But he has relatively sparse body hair everywhere else.

We tried to wax it once.

Edited to add: Oh no... why this comment. Thank god my husband doesn't use reddit and wouldn't know how to navigate it to save his life.

Uhh... so I guess to clarify--I had leftover wax (Sally Hansen Brazilian if anyone was wondering) from doing myself and didn't want it to take up cabinet space so I talked him into letting me wax him. BTW we didn't want to trim it/buzz it since it gets scratchy when the stubs come in (I hate shaving my legs or girl parts for this very reason) and the hairs were too long for my epilator (this is like an electric tweezer that does the job of plucking all the hair out without the messy wax) and I imagined it would hurt a lot more. We did his knuckles and legs and he didn't think it was too bad and one thing led to another we decided to take a look at his taint.

It was weird, like why was it mustache-y? Anyway, I dusted him with baby powder (this way the wax doesn't stick to his skin) and applied the hot wax.

There is a TIFU part to this.

I probably should have trimmed it at least with scissors first because too much hair and the hair wins--the wax gets peeled off the paper as you're stripping it off--so all the pain and none of the reward. Of course, he's screaming and freaking out from the pain and I start laughing hysterically (I'm someone who has that thing where you don't have the right reaction sometimes and most of the time if I'm scared or nervous, I start laughing uncontrollably.)

This gets really weird which was why I hesitated to type this out but --

I have to apply more wax because once the wax on his hair has touched another surface and then peels off, it loses it's stickiness. It's a huge mess at this point too. So I try to go get ice since it would numb the skin and make it hurt less.

I don't have ice in the freezer.

But what I DO have is a bag of individually packaged frozen tuna from Costco.

We eventually get all the wax and hair off.

We never tried it again and I still can't bring myself to buy packaged frozen tuna from Costco (which I used to enjoy using to make tuna tataki.)

After the whole Chris Brown/Rihanna story broke, she said "I don't see what the big deal is. I'd slap you around too if you ever check my cell phone."

That he was married before. We've been married for over 10 years.

I found out last week that the divorce from his first marriage was never filed, so my marriage to him is not valid.

I learned on our honeymoon he opens bottles using his ring finger and palm, not thumb and forefinger. I never noticed this and had no idea everyone didn't open bottles the way I do. Once I got a ring on him he suddenly couldn't open bottles because the ring got in the way.

That he was REALLY awful to his only other long-term gf. The more time went on and I heard more stories the worse I felt for this poor girl. I eventually asked him to find her and apologize.

That rice crispy treats are his favorite "baked" good. He had never so much as mentioned them before to me.
Two years married and suddenly- this bombshell! Out of the blue!

But seriously: after we got married I realized that he wasn't as calm as he seemed.

He can actually get very anxious (like a normal human being) and if he doesn't do something active for a few days (work out, run, etc) he gets hyper like a 3 year old on a sugar high- manic, can't sit still, loud singing....

It's quite something to behold.

How shockingly alike we are.

We're going on year number 5 together and year number 2.5 married.

She and I think so much alike that it's scary. To the point where we say the same things at the same time in the same exact way on a daily basis.

If I didn't know for a fact that she wasn't my "Earth-11" or "Rule 63" counterpart then I'd be worried.

My wife has very strong opinions on natural foods, added sugars, preservatives, and organic growing methods. After we got married I noticed that several staples of my diet were slowly being phased out. The other shoe didn't fully drop until we had kids, at which point everything was evaluated for content before purchase, and many things were just barred from being brought into the house.

This isn't a bad thing, I'm healthier than I have ever been in my life, but she didn't show any of the signs of being this crunchy before we got married.

Two months after our wedding, just after we mailed all the thank-you cards to our guests, she calmly suggested an idea about our honeymoon, which was another two months away.

"Let's go as friends."

What she really meant was "Let's get divorced."

She genuinely believes her life is meant to be a tragedy, a belief that I couldn't help her shake off. We did manage to go on the honeymoon as a couple, but we filed for divorce within half a year.

I hope she's okay. I'm having a blasty blast.

That she never actually loved me just used me to pay for things so she didn’t have to work.

That she could actually cook.

I thought I was the disorganized, messy one. I was not the disorganized, messy one.

Nothing. That's why it took us 7 years to get married. I told her I'm only doing this once so we better be sure. Happy together since 2000.

"Wait, you're left handed?"